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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
Posted by ko123
We may just do that! I was even thinking of having the "rehearsal" at a church in the area (we're doing a destination wedding)...and then telling everyone there (the bridal party and our parents)..."hey we're really getting married now...but don't tell any of the guests tomorrow at the wedding!" lol...
Thanks again....to be honest this is more an issue with our parents than us...
ooooo yes! pull a britney (though I'm sure your marriage will work out)
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Posted 1/16/08 10:40 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
ChrisDee
My Girls
Member since 11/06 9543 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
I am not catholic but I was married outdoors by a multifaith pastor. I did christen my DD in my church after that. It is a lutheran church. It was not an issue at all.
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| Posted 1/16/08 10:41 AM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
I think if you give a nice "donation", you can do anything you please.
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| Posted 1/16/08 10:43 AM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
My BIL and SIL were not married in a church and their children were baptized. However, they were not allowed to become god parents to their neice because they were not married in a catholic church.
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| Posted 1/16/08 10:45 AM |
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ko123
My loves!
Member since 10/07 3002 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
Posted by Stefanie
I think if you give a nice "donation", you can do anything you please.
I've heard this a few times! lol...
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| Posted 1/16/08 10:46 AM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
Posted by MrsF519
My BIL and SIL were not married in a church and their children were baptized. However, they were not allowed to become god parents to their neice because they were not married in a catholic church.
It makes no sense to me that the church is more strict with godparents than parents. 
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| Posted 1/16/08 10:48 AM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
Posted by nov04libride
Posted by MrsF519
My BIL and SIL were not married in a church and their children were baptized. However, they were not allowed to become god parents to their neice because they were not married in a catholic church.
It makes no sense to me that the church is more strict with godparents than parents.
It could also depend on the church alone. Some are more strict than others. Funny thing is that their son was baptized by the same church that rejected them as god parents!
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| Posted 1/16/08 10:51 AM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
Posted by nov04libride
Posted by MrsF519
My BIL and SIL were not married in a church and their children were baptized. However, they were not allowed to become god parents to their neice because they were not married in a catholic church.
It makes no sense to me that the church is more strict with godparents than parents.
because in the case of baptising a baby, they're not validating the parents and their faith. They're letting a child enter. To do otherwise would leave babies unbaptised, and they did not commit any sins.
In the place of Godparents, their purpose is to raise the children in the faith (and they are chosen, not born, so this is different from parents). If you are not living the faith, how can you be an example to the children?
In baptising a baby, it's about the baby, not the parents, but in the case of godparents, it's about the godparents.
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| Posted 1/16/08 10:51 AM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
Posted by MrsF519
Posted by nov04libride
Posted by MrsF519
My BIL and SIL were not married in a church and their children were baptized. However, they were not allowed to become god parents to their neice because they were not married in a catholic church.
It makes no sense to me that the church is more strict with godparents than parents.
It could also depend on the church alone. Some are more strict than others. Funny thing is that their son was baptized by the same church that rejected them as god parents!
This actually makes a lot of sense.
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| Posted 1/16/08 10:52 AM |
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Maathy317
Grammie's Little Man
Member since 2/06 3235 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
That's ridiculous. Of course, you can have your children baptized. One sacrament has nothing do with the other. How, where and who you have officiate at your wedding has no bearing at all when you want to have your children baptized. Whoever told you this needs to get a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church and read pages 324 - 325, sections 1275 through 1284. I hate when people mouth off about things they clearly don't understand. Rest assured, you can have your children baptized in a Catholic church.
Message edited 1/16/2008 10:52:40 AM.
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| Posted 1/16/08 10:52 AM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
Posted by JenniferEver
Posted by nov04libride
Posted by MrsF519
My BIL and SIL were not married in a church and their children were baptized. However, they were not allowed to become god parents to their neice because they were not married in a catholic church.
It makes no sense to me that the church is more strict with godparents than parents.
because in the case of baptising a baby, they're not validating the parents and their faith. They're letting a child enter. To do otherwise would leave babies unbaptised, and they did not commit any sins.
In the place of Godparents, their purpose is to raise the children in the faith (and they are chosen, not born, so this is different from parents). If you are not living the faith, how can you be an example to the children?
In baptising a baby, it's about the baby, not the parents, but in the case of godparents, it's about the godparents.
That makes sooooo much sense. Thanks!
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| Posted 1/16/08 10:53 AM |
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KPtoys
I'm getting old
Member since 5/05 8688 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
My church asked me where we were married but we were married outside of a church and they had no problem baptizing my children.
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| Posted 1/16/08 10:56 AM |
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ko123
My loves!
Member since 10/07 3002 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
Posted by Maathy317
That's ridiculous. Of course, you can have your children baptized. One sacrament has nothing do with the other. How, where and who you have officiate at your wedding has no bearing at all when you want to have your children baptized. Whoever told you this needs to get a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church and read pages 324 - 325, sections 1275 through 1284. I hate when people mouth off about things they clearly don't understand. Rest assured, you can have your children baptized in a Catholic church.
...do you want to talk to them for me?? hahaha. Thanks!
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| Posted 1/16/08 10:57 AM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
Posted by ko123
Posted by Maathy317
That's ridiculous. Of course, you can have your children baptized. One sacrament has nothing do with the other. How, where and who you have officiate at your wedding has no bearing at all when you want to have your children baptized. Whoever told you this needs to get a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church and read pages 324 - 325, sections 1275 through 1284. I hate when people mouth off about things they clearly don't understand. Rest assured, you can have your children baptized in a Catholic church.
...do you want to talk to them for me?? hahaha. Thanks!
Copy the relevent pages in the catechism!
And tell them to shut up!
Seriously though, best of luck. I think the convalidation or earlier cahtolic wedding is a great idea because it would be a small thing that would make your parents very happy and also eliminate any complications...but seriously the church should be willing to baptise ANY child.
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| Posted 1/16/08 10:58 AM |
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nylisa
My Children
Member since 5/05 7905 total posts
Name:
MaMa
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
One has nothing to do with the other. When we went to church to fill out the form to have DS baptized, they did not ask for a copy of our marriage certificate.
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| Posted 1/16/08 10:58 AM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
They are going by the new "rule" a baby shouldn't pay for the "sins" of their parent but some churches are stricter than other. My boss at my old job did not get married in a church and her church would not baptize their baby. She went to another church that would.
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| Posted 1/16/08 11:40 AM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
For everyone in cases where the church won't let them baptise...why not convalidate?
If it's so important to have the baby baptised, isn't it equally important to have your own marriage recognized by the church?
And there are so many people with baptised babies and the kids never set foot in church or religious instruction and never have communion, confirmation etc? I don't understand that at all.
I have a new view of things as a CCD teacher..but I have kids in my class (and these are the kids who are in CCD,.,imagine the kids who aren't) who are in first or second grade and looked puzzled on the first day when the priest made the sign of the cross and said the "hail mary" and "our father"...these kids never set foot in church. It's really, really sad. And then you get parents bringing their kids in in 2nd grad eexpecting them to have communion, as if they cna just come in and do it, not recognizing that it's an important sacrament and it takes preparation. it's not just an excuse to put the kid in a white dress and have a party for a rite of passage.
Sorry. i totally hijacked.
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| Posted 1/16/08 11:44 AM |
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Dani922
Here's to new beginnings
Member since 10/07 7260 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
I think the rules used to be that way, but they don't seem to be anymore. We were not even married when we baptized DD, and although we got an incredibly rude speech about it, we still baptized DD.
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| Posted 1/16/08 11:51 AM |
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watersdeb04
Back to school is here
Member since 12/07 1052 total posts
Name:
Deb
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
When my godson was baptized, the requirement was that one godparent had to be Catholic. Also, even though my friend and her DH (he is Catholic) were married in the Lutheran Church, they got a dispensation when they got married.
Two other friends of mine were married in the Catholic church and baptized their DD at the church where they were married. When DS was born, the same church would not baptize him because the parents both converted to Lutheranism and were not attending a Catholic church.
Basically it all depends on the priest.
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| Posted 1/16/08 3:20 PM |
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Aga
hello baby Albert
Member since 9/05 7750 total posts
Name:
Aga
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
our friends had only civil ceremony but are still baptizing their daughter next month... the priest suggested that they should get married in church and he can do it at the same time but he did not insist...
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| Posted 1/16/08 3:50 PM |
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sunflowerjesss
Mommy to 3!
Member since 10/05 20369 total posts
Name:
Jesss, duh.
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
I didn't read all of the responses, but I am Jewish and DH is Catholic.
We were not married in a Catholic Church nor by a Priest.
I am pregnant with our first now and we do plan on Baptizing/Christening.
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| Posted 1/16/08 3:59 PM |
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MrsFlatbread
Skinny jeans are in my future
Member since 6/06 10258 total posts
Name:
Baby Momma
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
Posted by Christine
One of my friends was married at city hall and baptized her their children.
my parents were married at city hall and we were baptized Catholic
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| Posted 1/16/08 4:44 PM |
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ChattyKathy
LIF Infant
Member since 8/07 346 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
Posted by nov04libride
I think it depends on how strict the church is. You can always check with your church. Technically if you get married outside you cannot have a priest officiate...So if the church is strict, they may care that you didn't have a Catholic wedding ceremony.
nov04libride is right. It depends on the church. My church is really strict and asked for all documentation for when I was married. I had to go through 8 months of classes to be confirmed before I got married. I know other people who the church never asked them for anything.
If the church plays by the rules they will not let you baptize the baby because you were not married in the church.
You just have to check, it can't hurt to ask.
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| Posted 1/16/08 5:23 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
The Catholic deacon who performed my ceremony said not to tell him if it was going to be outdoors, and then when he got there, if it was what could he do about it?
My parish is pretty laid back though. There was an obviously pregnant couple in our pre-cana and they never commented on it.
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| Posted 1/16/08 5:27 PM |
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Maathy317
Grammie's Little Man
Member since 2/06 3235 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Pls help settle an argument re: baptizing a baby
Posted by ChattyKathy
Posted by nov04libride
I think it depends on how strict the church is. You can always check with your church. Technically if you get married outside you cannot have a priest officiate...So if the church is strict, they may care that you didn't have a Catholic wedding ceremony.
nov04libride is right. It depends on the church. My church is really strict and asked for all documentation for when I was married. I had to go through 8 months of classes to be confirmed before I got married. I know other people who the church never asked them for anything.
If the church plays by the rules they will not let you baptize the baby because you were not married in the church.
You just have to check, it can't hurt to ask.
This isn't, exactly, correct. For you to get married in the Catholic Church, you needed to be confirmed. You had to complete the series of Sacraments. That's why you had to take those classes. Baptism is different. For those in RCIA or RCIC, there is no requirement as to what happened before for them to be baptized. They just need to complete the classes and have a true desire to be baptized. For babies, the same applies. Of course, it is the parents who bring the child and express the desire. The baptism is for the child, not the parents. If any church refuses to baptize a child based on the marital status of the parents, that church is going against the basic tenets of the Catholic church as set down in the Catechism of the Catholic Church and should be reported to the Diocese immediately. If it was true that marital status factored into a baptism, then children of single parents would never allowed to be baptized as well as adopted children, since they wouldn't know the marital status of the birth parent.
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| Posted 1/16/08 7:03 PM |
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