| Posted By |
Message |
rose825
Best Friends
Member since 6/05 10228 total posts
Name:
|
Outgifted!
I need some advice. My BIL has had the same girlfriend for 8 years but they have a very weird relationship. He usually doesnt even refer to her as "his girlfriend" and he nearly chokes laughing if I mention them getting married. I hardly know her, she rarely comes to family functions and when she does she is very quiet. I would like to get to know her more, but it has just never happened.
I have been asking him what to get her for weeks and he kept telling us nothing and that she wasnt going to come. I of course ignored him and bought her a set from bath & body. Nothing great, but I wanted her to know we thought of her and since I dont know her at all I couldnt think of anything else.
Well, she wound up coming last night. She brought my son toys and slippers from the disney store and a gift certificate for me and DH to Target (may favorite store).
Now I feel so bad. I know that Christmas isnt about the gifts, but I dont want her to think we think so little of her. In fact I did not expect her at all to get us anything. She hasn't is the past 8 years, and I was totally fine with that.
So now I dont know what to do? Do I just drop it? Is there a tactful way to make it right, or juts except her generousity and remember it next year?
Any advice. TIA and sorry this was so long.
|
Posted 12/25/05 10:11 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Outgifted!
OMG I feel bad for u bc i would have died!
I feel for you. I dont think u should drop it only bc it sounds like she gave u guys alot of stuff. I dont have a specific thing u should or could do but if it were me I would try to reciprocate the best way I know how. Maybe be honest, send her a gift card to macys saying that she was very thoughtful on xmas and u wanted to do the same for her. Hmmm...I dont know any other ways u can do it.
|
| Posted 12/25/05 11:08 PM |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Outgifted!
I would drop it - especially since she hasn't gotten you anything in years and decided this year to get something. Remember it next year just in case she pops up unexpecantly.
I don't think you need to reciprocate to the amount of the gift. For years I gave to my friends & their kids and got one gift back - regardless of their value. Never once did I feel slighted.
|
| Posted 12/26/05 7:33 AM |
| |
|
MRSJLK
LIF Toddler
Member since 10/05 472 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: Outgifted!
I would ignore it...I think that is her way of letting you know she is feeling the same way about you (wanting to be closer to you)...Maybe you should ask her out to lunch or something.
|
| Posted 12/26/05 4:57 PM |
| |
|
MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
|
Re: Outgifted!
Posted by nrthshgrl
I would drop it - especially since she hasn't gotten you anything in years and decided this year to get something. Remember it next year just in case she pops up unexpecantly.
I don't think you need to reciprocate to the amount of the gift. For years I gave to my friends & their kids and got one gift back - regardless of their value. Never once did I feel slighted.
I completely agree! GL!
|
| Posted 12/26/05 5:28 PM |
| |
|
mrswask
Pookie Love
Member since 5/05 20229 total posts
Name:
Michal
|
Re: Outgifted!
Maybe you could invite her out to lunch? That way you could get to know her better, as you've wanted to, and also treat her to lunch?
|
| Posted 12/26/05 8:38 PM |
| |
|
PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Outgifted!
Posted by mrswask
Maybe you could invite her out to lunch? That way you could get to know her better, as you've wanted to, and also treat her to lunch?
thats not a bad idea. I agree. Maybe u can treat her to lunch and have a girls day out.
|
| Posted 12/26/05 8:56 PM |
| |
|
Kate07
Feel better my little guy!
Member since 5/05 4476 total posts
Name:
Kate
|
Re: Outgifted!
Posted by mrswask
Maybe you could invite her out to lunch? That way you could get to know her better, as you've wanted to, and also treat her to lunch?
I second that. She would probably love that.
She probably feels awkward (8 YEARS?!) and you might make her feel more welcome if you invited her out for lunch.
Message edited 12/26/2005 9:40:38 PM.
|
| Posted 12/26/05 9:39 PM |
| |
|
rose825
Best Friends
Member since 6/05 10228 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Outgifted!
That is a great idea. I think I will have to take a valium though I am so uncomfortable in situations like that. Maybe I will invite her and BIL with us, that way I wont feel so awkward. There is about a 7 year year age difference, and I have no idea what we would talk about, she is very quiet. Thanks for the advice ladies.
ETA: Now that I think about it, its more than 8 years. I will be married 8 years in January and she was at out wedding, so they have been "together" probably closer to 9 or 10 years.
Message edited 12/26/2005 10:06:47 PM.
|
| Posted 12/26/05 10:05 PM |
| |
|
sunny
Life is good!
Member since 5/05 8369 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: Outgifted!
Posted by nrthshgrl
I would drop it - especially since she hasn't gotten you anything in years and decided this year to get something. Remember it next year just in case she pops up unexpecantly.
I don't think you need to reciprocate to the amount of the gift. For years I gave to my friends & their kids and got one gift back - regardless of their value. Never once did I feel slighted.
I agree.
|
| Posted 12/27/05 11:43 PM |
| |
|
megsmom
#2 on the way!
Member since 5/05 1723 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Outgifted!
Posted by sunny
Posted by nrthshgrl
I would drop it - especially since she hasn't gotten you anything in years and decided this year to get something. Remember it next year just in case she pops up unexpecantly.
I don't think you need to reciprocate to the amount of the gift. For years I gave to my friends & their kids and got one gift back - regardless of their value. Never once did I feel slighted.
I agree.
Me too.. If anything maybe send her a Thank You card expressing how thoughtful it was of her to go all out this year..
|
| Posted 12/27/05 11:52 PM |
| |
|
Denisemang
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 982 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Outgifted!
Is there anything wrong with a gift set from Bath and Body Works?? I just got that for my best friend in the whole world????? Did I do something wrong?
|
| Posted 1/3/06 9:56 PM |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Outgifted!
Posted by Denisemang
Is there anything wrong with a gift set from Bath and Body Works?? I just got that for my best friend in the whole world????? Did I do something wrong?
No not at all. Pauline was just pointing out that she was outgifted - meaning the girlfriend spend much more on her & her husband plus her kids - and Pauline only got her a Bath & Body Works set.
Feel free to give me that anytime!
|
| Posted 1/4/06 9:36 AM |
| |
|
Denisemang
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 982 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Outgifted!
oh ok. :O) I thought it was an insensitive gift. It is really nice. It came in a gorgeous faux fur bag..... :)
How are you?? I havent spoken to you in SO long..............
|
| Posted 1/5/06 11:11 AM |
| |
|
rose825
Best Friends
Member since 6/05 10228 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Outgifted!
no I love bath and body. But the set that DH picked out was very small and like Barbara said she got us soo much.
|
| Posted 1/5/06 7:41 PM |
| |
|
puppylove
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/05 561 total posts
Name:
Summer
|
Re: Outgifted!
Posted by nrthshgrl
I would drop it - especially since she hasn't gotten you anything in years and decided this year to get something. Remember it next year just in case she pops up unexpecantly.
I don't think you need to reciprocate to the amount of the gift. For years I gave to my friends & their kids and got one gift back - regardless of their value. Never once did I feel slighted.
I totally agree. Don't worry about who gave more gifts, you did have something for. So she knows that you did think of her. That alone probably made her feel very special. You were both very thoughful of eachother.
|
| Posted 1/6/06 10:58 AM |
| |
|
pschica
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/05 424 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Outgifted!
i kinda have a secret stash of stuff in a spare closet that I consider my "emergency gift" closet.....i also store the gifts i buy in there along with my wrapping, bows and other stuff....just because sometimes it happens to us too....(ii find it helpful to always have a pic frame or candle or other random stuff in there!)
|
| Posted 1/7/06 12:44 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Outgifted!
I would just drop it this year and then remember it for next year.
|
| Posted 1/7/06 1:15 PM |
| |
|
