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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: Optimism vs. Reality?
Posted by rose825
Why cant you be an optimistic realist? Reality is you ahve a 50/50 shot, be optimistic about what 50 you'll be in.
I was a 29 year old mom of a 2 year old when I started this with MF as a diagnosis. With ICSI my odds were outstanding. I was so optimistic, but I knew the odds (which were in my favor). That first BFN, BAM!!!! it hits you. A little reality helped me prepare for it. The next 4 BFNs just as bad, reality helped get me through.
I think the counselor is right to get you thinking about it and talking about it with your partner now. Its a long fall when you get that BFN, in case it has to happen to you, better to be prepared.
Pauline- you just wrote my point to a tee!  DH and I had spoken about all of the things she brought up long before our session last night--- we talked about it the day we agreed to try IVF. I told her (before she even asked those questions) where we stood on certain things, knowing she was going to ask them because we were given an overview in our IVF folder of what questions would be asked (which was only last week). I found it odd that she asked me them after we had already told her the answers- but figured she had to ask them, since I know she has to give an overview of our general session back to the drs office...
We know that nothing is a guarantee... we haven't even been given a numerical %- just very vague answers for that reason... there are no guarantees in anything... but we have to at least try, right? I really like your term- I wish I would've thought of it last night to tell her... she really left us feeling as though we couldn't be both... and we didn't understand that at all. Thanks!!!
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Posted 5/28/08 8:59 PM  |
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ihilani
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 858 total posts
Name:
alias
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Re: Optimism vs. Reality?
I passed reality a long time ago and am a true pessimist. IF is part of my identity. It also shields me from coming to terms with not being 100% sure we want kids.
We're still trying, even more so than in the past, but my normal is being in a state of not having children, not being in a state of wanting what we don't have.
If that makes any sense.
I guess what I'm saying is that I admire your optimism, but like the counselor and other posters have said, you may want to consider preparing yourself to handle a big fall.
happy hugs for the optimist!
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| Posted 5/28/08 10:02 PM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: Optimism vs. Reality?
Posted by ihilani
I passed reality a long time ago and am a true pessimist. IF is part of my identity. It also shields me from coming to terms with not being 100% sure we want kids.
We're still trying, even more so than in the past, but my normal is being in a state of not having children, not being in a state of wanting what we don't have.
If that makes any sense.
I guess what I'm saying is that I admire your optimism, but like the counselor and other posters have said, you may want to consider preparing yourself to handle a big fall.
happy hugs for the optimist!
Beautifully said...I think that those who are just starting out on this journey have a lot of optimism, whereas those of us who have been on this road for a long time are much more realistic about the odds.
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| Posted 5/28/08 10:45 PM |
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LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis
Member since 8/06 11613 total posts
Name:
L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)
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Re: Optimism vs. Reality?
Posted by Gertyrae
Posted by ihilani
I passed reality a long time ago and am a true pessimist. IF is part of my identity. It also shields me from coming to terms with not being 100% sure we want kids.
We're still trying, even more so than in the past, but my normal is being in a state of not having children, not being in a state of wanting what we don't have.
If that makes any sense.
I guess what I'm saying is that I admire your optimism, but like the counselor and other posters have said, you may want to consider preparing yourself to handle a big fall.
happy hugs for the optimist!
Beautifully said...I think that those who are just starting out on this journey have a lot of optimism, whereas those of us who have been on this road for a long time are much more realistic about the odds.
Couldn't agree more with you both. I'm trying to get used to the idea of NOT having a kid, because of my situation, but I'm still TTC.
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| Posted 5/29/08 8:07 AM |
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rmdrn125
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/07 497 total posts
Name:
mom mom
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Re: Optimism vs. Reality?
The way i see it is if you are all ready an optimist, it is going to be alot easier to be optimistic through your first process. Do I think theat the counselor was wrong? No. Do i think she could have laid it out a little gentler for you? ABSOFARGINLUTLEY! Don't pee on your parade.. I happen to always look on the darker side, it's just my nature. I am sorry you wasted your time & money, but keep positive. I always say go with your gut, if it feels right then its gonna be. Unfortunately, sometimes we ignore that little voice in the back of our heads warning us to keep your guard up. I firmly believe that if being positive gets you through it- stay positive.. Good Luck!!
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| Posted 5/30/08 7:44 PM |
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| Pages: 1 [2] |
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