Opinions

I talked with my mom last night about the baby subject. For some reason, my parents are all for me not having kids. Personally, it makes me feel like my sister and I were handfuls. My parents were quite discouraging, saying it's way to expensive and I will never have a life.

I don't have much of a life anyway now that I don't have a wedding to plan. Also, what life are my parents talking about in regards to themselves? My sister and I don't live at home, and they still hibernate and never go out. Makes NO sense to me.

She also continued to tell me if I did in fact get pregnant, she's not throwing a shower until after I give birth, because of what happened to her cousin; 2 still borns and a miscarriage. My mother herself had 2 miscarriages. My MIL had words to say about that one. Although I felt my mother is weird for such thoughts, she still is my mother. MIL needs to choose her words wisely with me.

I cried so hard last night. I understand precautions, but do they really need to think that way? Doesn't that type of thinking make things worse? Is my mom right to feel that way because of those examples?

The way I feel is that anything can happen. I won't know until anything happens how I would handle it. I have already decided with DH how would share the news if I got my BFP. I to, deep down have some fears but I can't let it override my happy feeling. It does not help when outside people, especially family members, speak like that to me.

Am I wrong? Is my mother wrong? Should I from now on just keep all TTC thoughts to myself?

I feel like I can't talk to anyone about this.

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If your stories about your parents are any indication, i would not ever speak to either of them about TTC or Children... AND i would not take anything they say to heart... JMO

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Sounds like your parents are expressing THEIR fears and insecurities and passing it on to you. I would not discuss it with them since you do not need negative energy. I have a feeling once the baby is here when you get pregnant , they will be singing a different tune.

When you do get pregnant, wait 12 weeks ( after 1st tri) where the miscarriage rate drops significantly , which you can inform them of . I didn't tell anyone with DC until after 12 weeks for that very reason.

As far as a shower, my family is VERY superstitious and does not believe in baby showers , for the same reason as your parents. You can either have another relative/friend host or do what I did and register and when people asked I told them where I was registered. Trust me , I got TONS of stuff off the registry and bought the bare essentials beforehand.

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Yea, I don't care so much about showers, etc. I mean, I was such a nag about knowing my bridal shower...I don't care for surprises.

Dh and I are doing the 12 week wait. The more I think about it, I may lean towards not saying anything on here...lol. Would love to, sometimes talking to strangers is better than talking to people you know, but I'm afraid of lurkers. LOL. I had them on LIW, I didn't care, wasn't anything to hide.

I hope it's true; once I'm pregnant or do give a healthy birth my parents attitudes will change. I'm really hoping.

My dad still coaches little league in his spare time and it's for other peoples' kids, why wouldn't he want to be a grandfather soon? and my uncle now lives with my parents, and his sons come over and i see my mom having a blast with her nephews..and then they said all that to me? it seems like they enjoy the kids because my sister and i are all grown up and moved on.

Something must have happened they don't want to share with me.

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I don't have time to post much but all I can say is your mother is horrible for saying those things. I'm sorry I know she's your mother but she should keep those thoughts to herself.

Is having children hard and expensive? YES but they are the biggest blessing and joy that life can bring.

It's not her decision to make. It's between you and your DH. I wouldn't talk with her about it ever again.

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Posted by gina409

Posted by AngnShaun

If your stories about your parents are any indication, i would not ever speak to either of them about TTC or Children... AND i would not take anything they say to heart... JMO

ita..ur mom has every right to her opnion and it sounds like she had some unfortunate incidents in regards to mc and ttc...but thats her not you...sorry to be harsh but i think its really really crappy for your mom to tell u not tohave kids..i mean this is a decision for you and dh

its not like u r having them then handing them off to her to take care of

i say do what u wann do and what makes u and ur hubby happy..she will come around once u get that bfp and if she does not she will be sorry

good luck and im sorry..noone esp a mom should make someone feel like this

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I am keeping all thoughts about TTCing to myself. My parents are very supportive and will be great grandparents, but I know that right now, their main concern is me. They will be worried if we are struggling with conceiving, worried about me while pregnant, worried about our finances, our free time, worried that I will still be working. For me, it is best to wait and share the good news after I'm already pregnant.
I think your mom is concerned about you, and personally I'd rather that, then she be so excited about grandchildren they she isn't even thinking of you.

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wow. I can't believe she said those things to you. If you and DH want to have a baby that is between you and him. Don't let what she says get to you. You need to do what will make you happy.