opinion on situation with nanny.

Dont really know what to do. I think it may be time for a new nanny.
She has been with us for 1 year now. She is finishing grad school in the next two weeks, so I suppose she is stressed, but I have 2 dd's. One which is in preschool half the day and the other is 5 months and just smiles and sleeps. She has it pretty good.
I dont require her to do anything but clean up the toys used and lunch dishes. She gets paid well.
She works 3 days a week.
I told her that DD is home from school b/c of christmas for 2 weeks. She looks like shes floored, cups her face in her hands and sighs.

Me: "whats wrong?"
Her: "This just couldnt have come at a worse time. I have finals to study for"
She was really annoyed and ******.

She studies when DD2 naps. So...your upset my child is home...but isnt it your job to watch them?
Totally annoyed me. Do you think I should let the next 2 weeks go and chalk it up to stress or find another nanny.
To add...Im not thrilled by her anyway, I think she just gets through the day... but my kids know her and she knows the routine.

ETA:
Conversation:
Me: Harps needs to start getting oatmeal in AM.
Her: Oh...that should be fun. Lil is going to have to watch the lion king then when Im feeding her.

Really? You cant handle giving oatmeal and watching DD1?

Message edited 12/13/2011 9:36:19 PM.

Re: opinion on situation with nanny.

I would be very uncomfortable by her actions/comments. She is basically revealing how little effort she wants to put forth towards the job. Of course she could be stressed by school but this is her "job" and if she can't handle a part time job and classes, she shouldn't have accepted the position.

I wouldn't get rid of her as of yet because you never know if the next person is reliable or will stay for a long time but you may want to start 'interviewing' to see if you get a good feel for someone else.

It's so tough ... I hope she is just 'stressed'.

Re: opinion on situation with nanny.

she sounds like she's just stressed. id give her a chance.

Re: opinion on situation with nanny.

I don't think I would let her go because of those comments. If she is used to having only 1 child, a 5 month old that you said sleeps a lot (which, btw, is awesome - please tell me how you got your DC to do that!!!), then she's used to having time to study during those times. It doesn't mean that when your baby is up and the other DD is home she isn't engaged with both children.

I would just chalk it up to finals stress (I remember those times!) and see what happens in January.

If you are really not happy with her because of other things, that's a different story.

Re: opinion on situation with nanny.

Re: opinion on situation with nanny.

I would not let her go for that reason.

Depending on the nanny, they are very picky about watching one vs two children. Does your agreement include her watching your second child during breaks or sick days? This turned me off a lot when we were hiring nannies. There were also a lot of nannies who did not want to do any housework. This also turned me off.

If I were her, I would have let you know in advance that she needed time off. If she is finishing up a thesis and/or has final exams, it will be extremely difficult doing that while juggling 2 kids.

Her comments would have made me pi$$ed. I think she handled it very poorly. I would not let her go for it but I would definitely have a talk with her.

Re: opinion on situation with nanny.

I honestly would NOT be happy with any of those comments or gestures. She may be stressed and I do remember those days in grad school but that is not an excuse for her to act the way she did. I mean the oatmeal comment was ridiculous..the baby needs to eat wether your other child watches the lion king or not! As a nanny of two that shouldn't be an issue that calls for any type of comment. Also, the way she reacted about your other daughter beign home is unprofessional as well. In reality she works for you to take care of you children and if she has time to study great and if not oh well! I am a parent and a caretaker so this opinion comes from both sides. In the grand scale of things you have to weigh everything out and take everything into consideration. Is she engaging your children (reading, playing, loving, teaching), do they love her, has she been reliable and responsable, do you trust her, does she respect you??? It's tough but you and your children deserve a nanny that you love and don't second guess letting go!!!

Message edited 12/13/2011 9:55:31 PM.

Re: opinion on situation with nanny.

I wouldnt fire her because of her comments. Personally as the SAHM of a 4yo and an 8mo I am thinking C#$p, DS1 is off for a WHOLE week, no school, what am I going to do with both of them for all that time!

With that said I would let her know that you understand she is stressed and all but you didnt appreciate her comments and you felt that they were unprofessional considering she is receiving a paycheck from you for her to WATCH, and CARE FOR your children those 3 days....

If she is a good nanny that you trust, personally I think its worth overlooking those comments! Its not always easy to find a GOOD replacement!

Re: opinion on situation with nanny.

Her job is to care for your children, not get paid to study. I would fire her , but am biased against nannies to begin with

Re: opinion on situation with nanny.

Re: opinion on situation with nanny.

Maybe she's just comfortable with you and kinda joking a little about the cereal etc...

Re: opinion on situation with nanny.

Re: opinion on situation with nanny.

Unless there is more to the story here, I wouldn't fire her. She is use to caring for one on a very regular basis. She was assuming that this would continued and mapped out her study time based on her very regular routine. Now she finds out your daughter will be home for a week. In her mind she is thing when am I going to find the extra time to study. She told you herself it was not a good time.

Her comments she could have kept to herself but right now I imagine she is overwhelmed and very stress and not realizing that her comments weren't warranted. I'd give her a break. Yes this is her job, but her job will change for a week that she's off. She just wasn't expecting it.

Re: opinion on situation with nanny.

That is her job! I would be so shocked to hear someone say that! Would you tell your boss too bad it's busy season I need to study! Even if she was thinking how to handle it she should have kept it to herself!

Re: opinion on situation with nanny.

Re: opinion on situation with nanny.

i see where some of the PP are coming from when they are saying that maybe she is just really comfortable with you, but having experienced similar situations i understand your point of view also.
i think you just have to go with your gut feeling. maybe wait until she finishes her finals and see if her attitude improves at all? how is she normally when you ask her to watch both kids?? how will she handle both kids when your 5 m/o starts crawling/walking?
i had a nanny for about 1.5 years who just grew too comfortable with us. i know its my fault bc i treated her more like family than an "employee" but it got to the pt where some of her comments were very insulting towards me. it wasnt easy letting her go bc i know how much she loved my kids, but the stress/anxiety/tension she was causing me was just not worth it. and i ended up hiring another nanny who is so incredible...i only wish i had found her sooner!

good luck

Re: opinion on situation with nanny.