new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

someone tell me this feeling goes away SOON!

DS is 2 months... isnt STTN yet, so for right now, hes still eating every 3 hours (sometimes every 4) but it basically ends up being 2-3 middle of the night feedings that leave me & during the day

i TRY to nap when DS naps during the day, but it doesnt always work out that perfectly

most of the time when DH comes home, i find myself handing DS to him & sleeping until his bath time -- I HATE IT! i feel like i never spend time with DH anymore... forget about b/c after i finally get DS down for the night, DH is sleeping since he has work the next day

i just got really depressed last night about how i feel like im just a machine right now... feed... burp... play... clean house... do laundry.... and then when DS has an acid reflux flare up & starts SCREAMING his face off, i feel like i cant even handle it b/c im SOOOO over tired & just worn out

we have only gone out once together since DS was born... hopefully will be going to the movies this weekend... but its hard b/c if MIL cant watch him and neither can my mom, i dont know who to call

anyways, i dont know what response im looking for... i guess someone to tell me it gets better

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

Michelle it's TOTALLY and completely normal!

Things will get better once the baby is more settled and into a good routine.

I didn't even leave the house for over 3 weeks when DD was born. I was afraid to leave her, didn't want to take her out, had no one to watch her when I needed etc.
I think it was almost 3 months in when DH and I finally had a "date night" and that was just dinner and we ran home to see DD.

Now that she's almost 10 months, I can't plan enough nights out lol

it gets easier

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

totally normal.. it gets better..just push through this difficult time!!!

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

It does get better- but slowly.
DD is 5 months old and still not sleeping through the night.
She is needy beyond belief- gets bored easily, cries all the time.
There are days I just sit there and cry too- just sob and sob. This is not how I pictured parenthood to be. Our lives are just a mess right now.
However, as everyone keeps telling me, it will get better. I have yet to see that yet, but I keep reminding myself that eventually it will. It has to. It won't be like this forever.
But when you are in the thick of it, like you and I are now, it doesn't seem that way. It's SOOO hard.

If you have someone you trust to watch the baby, like a family member, try to make time to go out alone with your DH. Since my DD was born, my DH and I have made it a point to go out once a week alone. My mom, dad or sister will watch her. It's only an hour or 2- just dinner- but it does wonders for your sanity and your relationship.

Hang in there- it will slowly get better, and you'll slowly start to get into a better groove!

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

It will get better.

You are in survival mode right now. it's the only way to get through this time, it's a transitional period and you'll find your routine soon enough!

I know that probably doesn't help. We've all been there and I know it seems like it won't ever get better, but it will!!

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

it's totally normal to feel this way. Also, expecting your 2 month old to STTN is not realisitic. I was spoiled by my DD she DID STTN by 9 weeks and took marathon naps. DS is the complete opposite. He is 3 months old and does not STTN and barely naps during the day. Add on top of that a tempermental 22 month old and I'm

Having a newborn is more work than anybody will ever tell you. But it does get easier!

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

It will get better, Hang in there! Every baby is different DD#1 was never a great sleeper but DD#2 was sleeping 10-12 hours a night by 12 weeks. I hope the same for you!!!

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

I PROMISE YOU IT WILL GET BETTER!!!!

I am not going to lie, there were nights when DH and I sat on the couch crying to eachother because we did not know what to do with ourselves. We were exhausted, DS would scream his head off all day, we would be walking zombies, said to ourselves "What did we do", "Maybe we made a mistake and were not ready", etc...We felt like prisoners in our own house and were afraid to take DS anywhere.

I never thought there was a light at the end of the tunnel or at least anytime soon and then all of a sudden, it did DS started sleeping longer, his acid reflux issues got better, he turned into a smiling, happy baby and we were able to take him pretty much anywhere we went or wanted to go.

We used to fight over who will go to 7-11 to get Milk just to get out of the house even for 10 min's!! Now we don't want to leave him because we miss him.

I know the way you are feeling and it's the worse feeling ever!!! Sometimes the STTN thing takes a while and sometimes they just do it gradually, but once his acid reflux is under control I am sure the rest will fall into place.

FM me if you ever need to just vent

Message edited 11/30/2010 9:31:19 AM.

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

totally normal. this is a new lifestyle and its take time, LOTS of time to adjust to.

there are still some days where i get really down then once i see that smile and hear that laugh and feel that little arm wrap around my neck i remember why we do what we do - for them

once he is more responsive, it will all make more sense.

you are doing an awesome job. make sure you take some time for yourself! get out alone every once and a while. have a date night with DH from time to time.

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

TOTALLY normal!!! I could have written your post word for word just a few short months ago. DS only slept long stretches while I held him in the beginning. When I transferred him to the crib, PNP or swing he'd be awake shortly thereafter. I was lucky if I had a chance to shower and got absolutely nothing done around the house. I would be so exhausted when DH came home that I would just hand the baby over and just veg out on the couch or nap. Every BTDT mom kept telling me the first weeks are the worst and it gets better, but I secretly had this irrational fear that it never would and kept thinking "what did I get myself into???" DS is now 8 months old and I am now one of those BTDT moms that can promise IT DOES GET BETTER!!! All you have to do is just get through these few difficult weeks!

ETA: I totally agree with maymama....if possible, have DH or someone else watch DC and get some time for yourself. Go get a mani/pedi, a massage, or go lock yourself in the bedroom and read a book. You'll be surprised at how recharged you'll feel after just a few short hours of "me" time.

Message edited 11/30/2010 9:32:19 AM.

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

Totally normal! DS got better when he hit a year old. Just hang in there for 10 more months!

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

thanks ladies... it feels like this is never going to end & i am going to feel this way forever

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

Posted by MeeshMosh

thanks ladies... it feels like this is never going to end & i am going to feel this way forever

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

it is totally normal is it will probably get better

my son has never ever ever slept through the night and he is 13 months old.

but my body adjusted so I feel ok most days.

it's very hard for the first few months but it will get better.

just keep going. and don't expect STTN so soon!! it's very rare at that age.

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

this is totally normal. DS also had reflux and colic..so the days I was home by myself with him, i was on the verge of breaking down. He wouldnt nap unless he was laying on me. and the second i'd put him down, he'd be up. IT would take me an hour to get him to sleep for him to nap 15 min.

DH and I didnt go out to dinner until my birthday and that was 3mo. PP and we had DS with us..that was an experience..LOL.

There were days I was counting the minutes until DH would walk in the door so i could hand DS Off to him. I felt terrible b/c DH worked all day. last thing he wants is to deal with it, but he never ever complained. He would take DS after dinner, and I would sleep on the futon in our family room until midnite or so..then we would switch. We were literally functioning on auto pilot at that point..like robots.

forget about any couple time. I went back to work at 14 weeks..DS was starting to sleep better through the nites..going longer stretches and eventually dropping that middle of nite feeding. There were plenty of nites though i was on the couch with him b/c he was in pain (teething, ear infections, couldnt sleep, etc) and then exhaustion from my commute..I have no idea how I even functioned.

IT IS TOTALLY NORMAL, AND WILL GET BETTER. IT TAKES TIME..its hard to see now, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

Posted by Ophelia

it is totally normal is it will probably get better

my son has never ever ever slept through the night and he is 13 months old.

but my body adjusted so I feel ok most days.

it's very hard for the first few months but it will get better.

just keep going. and don't expect STTN so soon!! it's very rare at that age.

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

Posted by d-h2008

Posted by MeeshMosh

thanks ladies... it feels like this is never going to end & i am going to feel this way forever

Just wait until the Acid Reflux meds really start to kick in... I bet you'll feel a big difference in your DS. My DD is now always smiling and happy...barely ever cries!

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

I know you feel hopeless right now and I think that all of us have felt that way at one time.

You will get all different advice on what to do when "this or that" happens. If you ask advice of 5 different people, you will get 5 different answers.

I always found one thing very encouraging... Not one person has ever told me that it won't get better. Everyone has told me that it DOES get better.

You will figure each other out. A "schedule" will happen. You will feel like DH's wife again.

It will get better. Just hang in there!

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

It does get better...and most babies don't STTN at 2 months. There are alot that don't even do it till closer to a year.

Have you tried alternating night time feedings, having DH do 1 every night, or 1 whole night for you. Usually when i got to that point, i just looked at DH and told him, he had to do everything for a night and to leave me alone. And by the next morning i started to feel better.

Talk to you mom and MIL about how your feeling, maybe they can come over, just for an hour or 2 to give you some quiet time, or time to go out to just be u.

It will get better

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

Posted by MeeshMosh

Posted by d-h2008

Posted by MeeshMosh

thanks ladies... it feels like this is never going to end & i am going to feel this way forever

Just wait until the Acid Reflux meds really start to kick in... I bet you'll feel a big difference in your DS. My DD is now always smiling and happy...barely ever cries!

thanks!

how long did it take for the meds to REALLLY kick in??

today is a week since he's been on it & i've seen some difference, but he still has flare ups here and there where he screams his head off

Re: new moms (or BTDT mom that can relate)

As many girls say in PP it will get better. DS didn't start somewhat STTN until at least 10 weeks old. You are in total survivla mode..but it does get better....Just remember you are new and he's new...it's OK. Get as much rest as you can..I'm sure DH understands. Please FM me if you need ANYTHING!!!