Need some BTDT advice

Every morning, when DH goes into Alex's bedroom to get her, she has a fit. She screams NO I WANT MOMMY, pushes DH away, throws herself on her crib and starts pounding her fists.

This isn't just a phase anymore - it's been going on for MONTHS. It really doesn't make sense becuase DH ALWAYS gets her in the morning, and it's not like I spend more time with her - he spends just as, if not more, time with her.

It got so bad that, for the last 2-3 weeks, when she wakes up, I'll get out of the shower, pick her up out of her crib and put her in bed with DH to watch the disney channel while I continue getting ready. If I do that, she won't cry, and when I put her in bed, she runs over to DH and gives him a big hug.

But, I think I made it worse. The last few days I couldn't get her so DH did, and she started with the tantrums again. Unfortunately, it's starting to take a toll on DH. He tells me at night, before we go to bed, that it makes him feel awful - he TRULY thinks that she just hates him. Last night he said he wishes that our next child is a boy so he has someone to bond with

He is SUCH a good daddy, and it's breaking my heart to see him feel this way.

Is there anything I can do to make this stop???

Re: Need some BTDT advice

I'm sorry DH is having to go through this. Maybe for a while you and DH can go in to get her together? Maybe first you take her out of the crib and stuff while DH is just there, and then maybe you can transition to him taking her out with you just there, and then maybe she'll get back to letting him get her in the morning.

Sorry, this isn't realy BTDT advice, but it just might work for you. I know when DD is crying for me, I go in and let DH finish whatever it is that he is doing and I just talk to her and she is okay.

Re: Need some BTDT advice

That sounds like a good idea - have both of you go get her for a few days.

Re: Need some BTDT advice

I also think that is a good idea iof you both get her in the morning and then phase you out of it.

I am so sorry DH feels that way. Its totally natural, but it still hurts.

Let him know that if your next one is a girl, she may be a daddy's girl like my little one. Every day I come home from work alone and every day she asks for dada.

Re: Need some BTDT advice

Honest answer--- probably not. In my experience, little kids want mom, no matter what. At this point its also a bit of manipulation and I wouldn't play and/or change anything about the morning routine.

I know its hard, but I promise she will outgrow it and the day will come that she will cry for daddy (especially after you've said no and she learns how to work him ). All of these trial and tribulations really do fade with time.

Re: Need some BTDT advice

Re: Need some BTDT advice

I'm so sorry beth I'm your DH these days, i know how that feels and since DD goes back and forth periodically, so does DH.
honestly though, we don't give in and it's the hardest thing ever to do. :(

IF i go to get her and she wants daddy, she gets mommy and that's it. She'll throw a fit and cry but she gives up and settles sooner or later. We dont' give in to her manipulations cause if we do she'll go back and forth and flip flop all the time and that drives us more nuts. We want to make sure she knows who rules the roost.

I'm so sorry I'm not really giving you BTDT advice

I hope things get better soon and please i hope DH gets some quality one on one time with his DD

Re: Need some BTDT advice

Thanks ladies.

I suspect you're all right and nothing will really make this better, and I knew deep down inside I was only making the situation worse by catering to her just to ease the morning transition.

I told DH this morning, I'm not going in there anymore to get her - it's his job, whether or not it's stressful or tormenting. They'll just both have to figure out a way to make this work! (but, it breaks my heart... for both of them ).

I'm going away on my girls spa getaway this weekend, which will give them both some much-needed bonding time. Hopefully things will improve...