Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

Ok mommys I need advice, i dont want to sound ungrateful because i am very very appreciative but i feel if i could get more useful things .. So my parents and inlaws are always buying toys toys and some clothes for birthdays and Christmas.. I feel like its over board I'm blessed that they want to be so generous but I feel like maybe they can get useful things.. I feel mommy daddy and Santa should go toy over load.. I feel like I find myself buying random crap just to buy toys ontop of the millions of toys they already get..
So question what do you do ? Do you let them buy whatever they want? Do you give them a list? Do you give a spending limit?? Do you buy stuff and let them give you the money and then have them wrap it?? I'm so stressed over this i don't know why??

Thanks for advice

Re: Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

I know exactly what you mean. DS's birthday is november 28 which makes it that much hard. I usually buy the gifts which is a mixture of clothes & toys and give them to my inlaws & parents to wrap. I usually do things like a north face winter jacket or sneakers that he needs/wants with a toy.

Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

DS's birthday is in october and last year for his 1st he got a MILLION toys! I made sure to tell my mom and ILs that he didn't need toys for the holidays. We also celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas! I asked them to each buy DS 1 special toy and then give clothes or money. My family listened, but MIL bought around 4-5 toys. Most of them we told her to keep at her house because we didn't have the room! She was annoyed, but I didn't care. She watches DS once a week so it would be nice for him to have a variety of toys anyway. I'm going to tell them the same thing again this year.

Re: Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

I have all of the grandparents go in on one large gift (removes the competition). Alternatively I would have them give an activity type gift (zoo/museum membership, classes, or money for college). I make lists and give advice. It cuts down on the clutter. But I do understand the issue as we have the same one here too.

Re: Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

I give a Christmas list to everyone except my MIL (who never asks). I put different things on each list to avoid duplicates. FIL, my parents, and aunts uncles always ask me for ideas, so the lists helps.

MIL buys a ton of useless crap and cheap clothes for DD. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but for the amount she spends on ALL THE CRAP, she could get DD one nice gift. This drives me crazy and I wish we could put a stop to it, but DH won't talk to her about it, so I'm certainly not going to.

DDs birthday is in early summer, so I always like summer clothes for her. FIL always gives $$ for birthday, my parents will get what I ask for, and MIL again goes crazy with crap!

Re: Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

My mom is known to spoil for Christmas. but it's also cheap crap that she buys haha. She just likes the idea of a big pile of toys with only a certain amount of money.

I started telling her what I want for my kids. Down to the make and model. I know she will still get a bunch of things but at least I know there's something in there that I want.

I buy some toys, not a lot, b/c they get a lot. I buy clothes, shoes, necessities etc. I really think with my dh and we get something they need too.

I always make sure to tell people the next size up in clothes, even if it takes a while to grow into b/c most likely by Christmas I have her winter clothes and then I don't need to return.

My mom was always like that so there's no changing her. I just make my say and she buys it, with 1001 other things haha.

My fil usually gives money and his gf buys a few clothes and toys. they don't tend to go overboard.

Re: Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

In the beginning I fought this battle...now I just give up. Its like they just cannot stop buying toys.

I'm trying to say I'd rather you get the boys swimming lessons, or for my 4 year old--sports equip. etc.

BUT even if they do those things, they always still get a toy..

LOL

Re: Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

My parents always give $$. Maybe an outfit or 2 to open.

In-Laws usually give a set amount (say $50) for all the grandkids and they let us buy and choose what "they" will give the kids.

Re: Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

My twins bday is right after xmass.

I usually ask for summer things for their birthday.
My parents will usually get them one bigger gift to share.
I will also ask for gc for swim lessons if someone asks.

Alot of our family understands how much stuff they have so they often just give $

Re: Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

I've always used either the TRU Wish List or the Amazon Wish List and honestly, it's a godsend. I have SO much family (and friends) buying for the kids that I just can't leave it up to everyone to figure out what to buy. It would be so insane!! I like the Wish Lists because it allows us to give ideas for things we know the kids will like, what we have room for, what is age appropriate etc. I also put their clothes sizes on there too in case someone doesn't want to buy toys. And on Amazon..........you can even put gift cards on the Wish List. It's wonderful.

I know not everyone is a fan of Wish Lists but when you have close to 30 people buying for your kids on top of Santa, a Wish List is SO incredibly helpful. I can't imagine the holidays and birthdays without it! And my family thanks me for it!!...........makes their job easier too!!

Message edited 8/7/2013 3:47:48 PM.

Re: Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

I usually just let them know what I need. both my IL's and my parents are very generous. My boys have tons of toys. Lately I've gotten money for stuff like swim classes and mommy and me classes. My mom got my older DS his new bike and helmet, which is something I wanted to get since DH and I were getting a big swingset, which was a present for both boy's bday.
At 4 and 2 they are happy with coloring books, stickers, etc. I also say bath toys and outside toys are good. Cheap ones if they want to give with money bc they never go to waste. I keep them in the closet and when I have to toss one I open a new one. THey love it. A squeezy water toy for a few bucks makes their day.

Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

DS is a chirstmas baby so we are hit all at once with birthday and chirstmas.

I let family buy toys and stuff and I get him something small. He is young so he doesn't know any different and it will probably change as he gets older but the gifts will dwindle form relatives too as he gets older.

Re: Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

I buy all the gifts and let my family pick what they want to give DD and they give me the $.

Re: Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

we give a list. that way we get exactly what we want and need. otherwise sorry, we are donating or returning the stuff we don't want/need. I can't have that.

Re: Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

Thank you ladies I thought I was the only one dealing with this!! But I guess I'm now you have some great ideas there will be some changes lol list will be a must and returns will have to be made lol

Re: Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

I used to tell my mom and Mil what to buy, but they kept asking where to buy it, it's out of stock, etc... So or the past two years I have asked them how much they want to spend and I just buy the gifts for them. It's kind of annoying, but at least my kids wind up with something they really want.

Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

We also do a wish list

Re: Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

My house literally looks like TRU threw up. We have every toy. My mom loves to spoil our girls. I said to her a couple of times, please no big toys or we have so many toys but she doesn't listen. She told me it truly makes her happy to buy them gifts. I love my mom too much to spoil her fun. What I've started to do though is sell/donate toys they aren't playing with. I have to get rid of toys because they are a piling up.

Re: Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

We get ours girls one big toy each.

We ask our parents to get one big toy too. I give them a few options.

All the little stuff that they also get we keep for a few months and then donate. We do a purge every few months now. I don't like clutter.

Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

My in laws not big on presents so i dont have this problem as much but i def tell my parents who will buy everything in tru for my dd lol so i tell her what we need. Like her bday i had my mom buy us a car seat for her bexause we needed a new one badly and the last thing she needed was more toys or clothes. My mom buys her toys all the time big and small soi figured why not ask for something practical that alsop saves us some money.

Re: Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed

Re: Need help!! Birthday & holiday survey so stressed