Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

This is obviously the last summer bfeore I have my baby in November, and I really wanted to try to make it a great one. Unfortunately, it is turning out to be awful.

Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful and happy to be pregnant and I am lucky that I have had zero problems, I mostly forget I am even pregnant!

It's just that this summer has been entirely dedicated to every other thing under the sun and DH and I have had absolutely no time to enjoy our last months before the baby arrives. For example.....
I tried to plan a long weekend to go to Captiva Island....DH is in 2 bands and had no weekends free for the WHOLE SUMMER!
June: Had 1 weekend without a shower or party, we went upstate for the weekend, it was cold and rainy. We even took 2 extra days off, no good weather. Spent the weekend looking at investment properties.
July: 2 showers and 2 birthdays. Took off 1 Monday to go to the beach.....it poured cats and dogs.
August: 2 showers, 1 bachelorette weekend, 1 birthday plus MY birthday, which is getting overlooked, and a BBQ.
We are going to Hershey this weekend, rain in the forecast.
I won't even get into September, let's just say it's not pretty.

It just seems like every time I try to plan some relaxation for us, something pops up to ruin it. We have had plans for Labor Day weekend at my parent's lake house and now DH wants to come home Sunday afternoon because it's his mom's b-day, and she said to stay up and relax, he says no.

I sometimes think if my pregnancy wasn't as great, that people would actually remember that I need some down time too, and not to stress me out with stupid little things.

This is all on top of us buying an investment property for the first time AND renovating our kitchen which hasn't even started yet.
We haven't even begun to discuss the nursery, I had to pick out furniture by myself, register by myself (DH went to BRU for 2 hours).

It's a longstanding joke that I am the "party girl" because I always have one to go to, but it is really starting to take it's toll on me. I even get a little silence from MIL when I mention not going to some of these showers. This is also my first child, so I have so much stress about that too, childbirth classes, Infant CPR, doctors appointments (by myself).

I am completely at my wits end......I can't take it anymore.....

Message edited 8/8/2007 10:36:43 AM.

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

Is there any way to not attend one or two of the events and just take time for the two of you? I had to back out of an invitation just so DH and I could spend some time together before the baby comes. People are actually a lot more understanding than we give them credit for. It is worth a shot....

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

there is no reason you need to over extend yourself and be at everyone else's events (regardless of what your MIL says! If she can't understand thats her problem, she'll get over it) Right now you need to do what makes you happy to prepare for that baby coming. You and DH have the rest of your lives together, you fit in some time together even if it is after the baby comes.

Try to relax....there are no childbirth class you "have" to take. I'm not taking any except for BFing and honestly, I didn't learn anything in the class I hadn't already heard about on these boards or in a book.

Now is the time to take care of yourself 1st!

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

Sounds to me like you need to really say no to some of these parties so you do have some downtime. Dont worry about your MIL. Your health and the babies health is more important than her comments. Maybe try to plan a couples massage for you and DH, rain or shine it will be still be nice quality time.
You should also sit and tell your DH how you are feeling and let him know he needs to step up to the plate now. The baby will be here before you know it.

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

Gina know youre prob gonna disappoint some people but you have to just say NO to some of these parties. Isnt there SOMETHING you can decline??



I hope it gets better. DH and i are going thru the SAME thing. We finally have plans to go to VT next week which will be our first time alone ALL SUMMER

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

First off

I've pretty much gone through the same thing. DH and I wanted so much to go on a baby moon but will all the events we had we didn't have one free weekend -believe it or not - until I was 34 wks - we had fun but, I wish I had gone a few weeks earlier. And, since then, every weekend has been booked up. We took classes during week nights and have had no time to prepare for the baby. At almost 37 wks I have soooo much more to do. For me, the summer has been filled with parties, showers and weddings every weekend but, my pregnancy has also been strewn with a few really sad unfortunate events that I wish I hadn't gone through pregnant. Its funny because I say this has probably been the most eventful last 9 mos of my life in terms of events and sadness that I have ever had. Unfortunately, that's how it goes in life...

But, that said, I am thankful I have had a great pregnancy, that I have such a wonderful DH and that my little guy will be here soon. My only advice would be to try to prioritize yourself - that is what I am trying to do now as my due date approaches and I have soooo much left to do - but I still have a hard time saying no!

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

I agree with the other women, I would definitely decline a few invites. There have been a couple of things we have missed due to the heat and humidity, even though I am having an awesome pregnancy.

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

Posted by conigs25

Gina know youre prob gonna disappoint some people but you have to just say NO to some of these parties. Isnt there SOMETHING you can decline??



I hope it gets better. DH and i are going thru the SAME thing. We finally have plans to go to VT next week which will be our first time alone ALL SUMMER

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

sending you some much needed hugs

I had a mini melt down a couple of weeks ago b/c I "over extended myself to friends and family". I started to tell people I was a bit frazzled and needed to take it down a notch and they all understood.
YOu definitely need some "ME" time. Say no to some events and do something fun with your dh when you have the energy too. Hopefully this crappy heat and hum,idity will break a bit.
Feel better

Message edited 8/8/2007 11:02:12 AM.

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

I agree with the other ladies . . . I would decline a few of the events. Especially considering how hectic your summer has been already. You don't want to run yourself ragged. It's important to get some down time!

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

Gina
You need to say no to some things (except the baby's baptism of course lol) and concentrate on YOU!

Go up labor day weekend and leave with your friends on Monday--sign up for the classes and go and not worry about anything else.

As for registering, I think all DH's sit that one out!

Love u...call me...jen

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

it may be time to put your foot down and start declining invites. it gets to be too much.

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

Shoot- lie to some of these people and tell them you're not feeling well if you have to. Tell them your BP was up and the Dr. wants you to relax for a week or two.

Dont' feel bad about DH not registering with you- I did all the registering myself online. He could not care less about what type of bedding or PNP I registered for.

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

I am sorry you are having a rough time this summer, and I know how you feel. We wanted to do some special things this summer before the baby comes, but we bought a house and have wound up spending every weekend preparing the house, packing, buying things we need for the house, etc. So I'm hoping we can arrange a long weekend away this fall, best we can do at this point.

If DH isn't so interested in the registration, etc., do you have any friends who might help you with this? Esp. friends who have had babies themselves? That might help. If it helps, I doubt my DH will do much of this either, and I haven't even bought furniture or done my registry yet (due Dec. 1st). I think some guys are into this and some are not.

Maybe you can find something that your DH would want to take on? Maybe he would be more interested in the renovation and he can handle that? Or maybe you should just ask him to help you with some things you need to do generally? it sounds like you have a lot going on and could use some help. Maybe he doesn't even realize how stressed you are.

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

Posted by DanaRenee



there is no reason you need to over extend yourself and be at everyone else's events (regardless of what your MIL says! If she can't understand thats her problem, she'll get over it) Right now you need to do what makes you happy to prepare for that baby coming. You and DH have the rest of your lives together, you fit in some time together even if it is after the baby comes.

Now is the time to take care of yourself 1st!

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

Re: Need advice, or maybe just some hugs, I am so down.....

It's OK to say no sometimes to invites. You and DH can't ever get this time back and you need to spend some time just the two of you.