Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

The stress is so bad with TTCing... I am trying so hard to relax but its just the biggest thing I have even tried to do you know?

Anyway, yesterday AF was due and since coming off BCP 2-3 months ago, I have been on a perfect 28 day cycle (down to the hour) and yesterday came and went and nothing.

I tested but its still negative. I feel no symptoms of anything so I am really thinking the stress made AF late but I am still keeping this hope inside and its not letting me relax.

I am not like this, I am sort of a perfectionist with certain things but I swore I wouldnt be an obsessed person with TTCing and just have fun with it. But I can't.

Hugs or advice VERY welcome!

Message edited 12/5/2006 8:02:45 AM.

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

Are you charting? Because on my third month of charting, I ovulated a week late, which made my beginning test come up negative. Turns out that I really was pregnant, but tested too early because of the late ovulation. Hopefully this is what happened to you. Best of luck

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

i TOTALLY hear you!! when starting ttc, i told myself that i was just going to play things cool and "let it happen" (omg, i SO hate that phrase, by the way). well, before i even ovulated the first time i had a full supply of OPKs and a calendar marked with important cycle days. now my supply drawer is stocked with those things plus a thermometer plus pre-seed plus pregnancy tests!!! throw in a little green tea that i've purchased but not drank, and a bottle of B6 that i took for about 2 days

what i've concluded is, if you're a perfectionistic, high-strung person in your life, why should ttc be any different? trying to "relax" and "just go with the flow" (putting all these 'calm' phrases in quotes because people keep on saying them to me and it's driving me NUTS ) is fighting an uphill battle.

so instead of going out of my way to feel and appear relaxed, i've actually started accepting the fact that i am going to be obsessive/compulsive and perfectionstic about this, just like i get about every single other thing i do. it's inevitable.

and to everyone who tells me how much stress affects fertility, well, i tell them about the female drug addicts who i come across almost daily in my job who have multiple children. if a body that's stressed out by cocaine and heroine and alcohol (all at the same time, no less) can do it, i've got to believe that my stressed out body could too.

anyway, for what it's worth - you are not alone in this! it's a horribly stressful process.

sending you tons of and

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

Nobody could have said it better alexlynn.. is the best I could say, we're in the same boat!!!

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

It is hard not to obsess when you want a child more than anything. I am tired of people telling me to relax as I am sure every other TTCer is. You are not alone.

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

Posted by alexlynn7

i TOTALLY hear you!! when starting ttc, i told myself that i was just going to play things cool and "let it happen" (omg, i SO hate that phrase, by the way). well, before i even ovulated the first time i had a full supply of OPKs and a calendar marked with important cycle days. now my supply drawer is stocked with those things plus a thermometer plus pre-seed plus pregnancy tests!!! throw in a little green tea that i've purchased but not drank, and a bottle of B6 that i took for about 2 days

what i've concluded is, if you're a perfectionistic, high-strung person in your life, why should ttc be any different? trying to "relax" and "just go with the flow" (putting all these 'calm' phrases in quotes because people keep on saying them to me and it's driving me NUTS ) is fighting an uphill battle.

so instead of going out of my way to feel and appear relaxed, i've actually started accepting the fact that i am going to be obsessive/compulsive and perfectionstic about this, just like i get about every single other thing i do. it's inevitable.

and to everyone who tells me how much stress affects fertility, well, i tell them about the female drug addicts who i come across almost daily in my job who have multiple children. if a body that's stressed out by cocaine and heroine and alcohol (all at the same time, no less) can do it, i've got to believe that my stressed out body could too.

anyway, for what it's worth - you are not alone in this! it's a horribly stressful process.

sending you tons of and

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

Posted by MrsDiamondgrlie

The stress is so bad with TTCing... I am trying so hard to relax but its just the biggest thing I have even tried to do you know?

Anyway, yesterday AF was due and since coming off BCP 2-3 months ago, I have been on a perfect 28 day cycle (down to the hour) and yesterday came and went and nothing.

I tested but its still negative. I feel no symptoms of anything so I am really thinking the stress made AF late but I am still keep this hope inside and its not letting me relax.

I am not like this, I am sort of a perfectionist with certain things but I swore I wouldnt be an obsessed person with TTCing and just have fun with it. But I can't.

Hugs or advice VERY welcome!

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

I can totally relate. My cycle has been crazy since coming off BCP in August. I am currently on CD50 something (too lazy to look it up now) with no AF and testing negative. Lots of and

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

Im not ttc but I havent gotten my period in THREE months!!!!

I came off BCP in agust and got my period sept 6, now nothing....I just wanted to let you know that it can vary your cycles greatly.

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

i hear you and understand your frustration...

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

Glad to see that I am not the only one who thinks about this 24/7. Even when I teach I STILL think about it!

Good luck and to you all!!

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

I wouldnt tell you to relax, b/c its virutally impossible when you are ttc. I woud try to stay occupied if possible. Your time will come...

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

Thanks ladies!
And alexlynn7... you are right! I cant force myself to stop obsessing so why bother trying. I think that is adding to the stress too.

As an update, I am 2 days late for AF but still neg. on the PG tests. Oh and to answer another question, I am not charting. I dont get it at all. All that CM stuff I just dont get it.

I gave myself the 4 month TTC without any "help" then I will look into charting and OPKs.


Thanks again ladies!

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

Posted by MrsDiamondgrlie

Thanks ladies!
I cant force myself to stop obsessing so why bother trying. I think that is adding to the stress too.

QUOTE]

right! i actually find that trying to appear un-stressed is paradoxically MORE stressful than just being my neurotic, obsessive self. so i guess i am stuck with myself

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

Diane...

i don't think there is any advice that really works. I try very hard not to obsess, to not get my hopes up, to not feel that anxiousness

Some months it works...others it doesn't...I fell into a semi depression about a month or so ago...all over this.

So all i can say is take each day as it comes...

trynot to over tHNk everything..because i think that works against you in the end...

But just know in your heart that when it is time...IT WILL BE TIME.


MUCH MUCH BABYDUST MAMA

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

Sending you hugs and baby dust.

Re: Any words of advice (or just hugs or help)?

Your time will come - I promise!