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MamaLeen
:)
Member since 10/09 4594 total posts
Name:
E
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Need advice, crazy Aunt...(long vent)
Message edited 10/21/2010 12:04:51 AM.
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Posted 2/17/10 10:54 PM  |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: Need advice, crazy Aunt...(long vent)
No, I do not think you are being bratty. stand your ground. As hard as it is for some people to understand, giving birth is a very private thing for many and they don't want a circus of family members around.
I'm like you. I don't even want anyone at the hospital when i am in labor. I just don't see the point. No one is coming in and I don't want to see anyone in the hours before I push a baby out!
Your aunt situation kinda reminds me of my SIL, DH's sister. Kinda crazy, single and thinks every family event that includes DH's parents should include her. When my DD was born and inlaws came to see the baby at the hospital, they were going to call SIL and have her come (granted, everyone lives out of town, which also means an overnight stay). I told DH to tell them, no, its too much right now, and she will be invited another time. Well, they were beside themselves "but she is so looking forward to seeing the baby." Yes, I get that. But I, as the mother of this just born child, am so looking forward to a mellow couple of days. So i stood my ground, SIL was mad, but I don't care.
Stand your ground. You have every right to lay down the rules for the delivery.
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| Posted 2/17/10 11:09 PM |
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Momma2Be
Mommy of an angel
Member since 10/09 5911 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Need advice, crazy Aunt...(long vent)
I agree you should stand your ground and not get guilt-tripped into doing something you don't want. I only want immediate family at the hospital as well, everyone else can come visit me and the baby once we get home and get settled. Does your mother agree with your father? Can she perhaps try to help and explain to your dad that you don't want to be overwhelmed with visitors?
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| Posted 2/17/10 11:38 PM |
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MamaLeen
:)
Member since 10/09 4594 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Need advice, crazy Aunt...(long vent)
Message edited 12/13/2011 3:20:39 PM.
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| Posted 2/17/10 11:50 PM |
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Need advice, crazy Aunt...(long vent)
I totally agree with you! Why does she have to be called at all when you go into labor? It could be hours and hours, why not just have them call her when you are pushing or when the baby is born so there aren't so many people sitting there waiting for hours (wink, wink). Call her and say we aren't going to call anyone expect mom and dad until I'm actually pushing since it can be such a long process.
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| Posted 2/18/10 7:10 AM |
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jennarose023
Jack's gonna be a big brother!
Member since 11/08 7769 total posts
Name:
Jenna
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Re: Need advice, crazy Aunt...(long vent)
Posted by MaMaTeenie
I totally agree with you! Why does she have to be called at all when you go into labor? It could be hours and hours, why not just have them call her when you are pushing or when the baby is born so there aren't so many people sitting there waiting for hours (wink, wink). Call her and say we aren't going to call anyone expect mom and dad until I'm actually pushing since it can be such a long process.
ITA too and think this is a great idea...why does the whole world need to know that you are in labor? let everyone know later on. It is YOUR day and not anyone elses (except DH) and even if you have to be a bit of a bad guy you need to stand up for what you feel.
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| Posted 2/18/10 7:20 AM |
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MamaLeen
:)
Member since 10/09 4594 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Need advice, crazy Aunt...(long vent)
Message edited 12/13/2011 3:21:24 PM.
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| Posted 2/18/10 7:36 AM |
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jennarose023
Jack's gonna be a big brother!
Member since 11/08 7769 total posts
Name:
Jenna
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Re: Need advice, crazy Aunt...(long vent)
Posted by MangoMama
Its just so ridiculous that I even have to think/stress about it, they should just respect my wishes! 
I am actually thinking now I am just gonna wait a lonnnng time before I tell anyone but DH. If they are gonna make it difficult for me then I will just not be able to tell my family right away...
Its just so funny how my parents can make the experience of me having my first child all about them!!
They are saying I am putting them in an awkward position, etc. To me its like, suck it up. This is what I want, so just deal with it..
My Mom said to me (about me giving birth) "this is gonna be so hard for me, you just don't understand"  I mean, seriously? She is notorious for making everything about her.
Parents can be so annoying! So glad I am about to be one 
It's their job to drive us nuts!
I just really wouldn't bend on this one and I'm sure it's important to you to have your parents there so you could always call you Aunt and tell her yourself this way, you get your point across and you mend the fight with your dad by not making him feel like the bad guy...or even better you could make DH do it J/k
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| Posted 2/18/10 7:46 AM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Need advice, crazy Aunt...(long vent)
Stand you ground.
It's a shame, because if she didn't have such an abrasive personality it really wouldn't be a big deal. I would speak to your father and tell him that you really don't want a lot of people there, including your aunt. He needs to respect your decision.
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| Posted 2/18/10 8:15 AM |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Need advice, crazy Aunt...(long vent)
I agree with you that you shouldn't feel guilted into inviting certain people when your in labor if you don't want them there. But I don't agree with writing an email. I think you should of just explained this all to your parents, and told them not to call anybody until you were ready for visitors. Your dad doesn't need to call anybody if he knows your in labor, that's just ridiculous, he can wait until you feel comfortable with more people.
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| Posted 2/18/10 8:16 AM |
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SKPtzu
Oh boys
Member since 6/08 1388 total posts
Name:
SKPtzu
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Re: Need advice, crazy Aunt...(long vent)
I don't think you are being a brat at all and it is completely your right to make the decision of who you want there or not.
However, just so you know, when you are in labor and delivery, if you tell your labor nurse not to let anybody in, nobody will get it to see you. Your aunt may end up being in the hospital, but you don't have to see her.
At my request, when I was in L&D, I wanted to see my mom once and she was brought in for a few minutes. Other than that, I didn't want to see anybody else and I didn't have to.
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| Posted 2/18/10 8:18 AM |
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MamaLeen
:)
Member since 10/09 4594 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Need advice, crazy Aunt...(long vent)
Message edited 12/13/2011 3:22:18 PM.
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| Posted 2/18/10 8:31 AM |
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JsWife
His laugh, Her smile
Member since 12/06 2902 total posts
Name:
Patricia
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Re: Need advice, crazy Aunt...(long vent)
This might come off kind of harsh but it sounds to me like your father is a bit of a coward when it comes to his sister. He knows the rest of his family (his immediate family) is uncomfortable with her presence at times and yet he does nothing to help the situation. And now he is dumping it in your lap to handle her regarding your requests on your big day. Maybe you can appeal to him in another week or so after he's cooled off about it? Sounds to me like he knows its his responsibility to deal with the situation and yet he doesn't want to - and that's why he's making you feel guilty.
By the way - I'm not sure why an aunt would need to be called in any case to be told you are in labor.
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| Posted 2/18/10 9:11 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Need advice, crazy Aunt...(long vent)
Why does anyone outside of your immediate family even need to know you're in labor? I don't think they need to call anyone to say "hey, DD is in labor, but she doesn't want anyone there until after the baby is born." Why even bother with the phone call?! Why can't they just wait until AFTER you deliver to call anyone. Then they can say "DD had her baby!"
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| Posted 2/18/10 9:23 AM |
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MamaLeen
:)
Member since 10/09 4594 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Need advice, crazy Aunt...(long vent)
Message edited 12/13/2011 3:22:42 PM.
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| Posted 2/18/10 11:43 AM |
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MrsList
Sweet cheeks
Member since 4/09 1696 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need advice, crazy Aunt...(long vent)
I would tell your dad Fine, if you want to miss out on helping your daughter through labor because you're having a tantrum, that's fine - you miss out. You'll get a call when everyone else does if you can't respect my wishes.
I'm sure he'll change his tune as the day gets closer. Don't feel badly either. He made the choice - not you - and there's absolutely no reason that you shouldn't have what you want during your baby's birth.
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| Posted 2/18/10 12:22 PM |
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Jan1975
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Member since 8/09 3846 total posts
Name:
Sarah
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Re: Need advice, crazy Aunt...(long vent)
Posted by JsWife
This might come off kind of harsh but it sounds to me like your father is a bit of a coward when it comes to his sister. He knows the rest of his family (his immediate family) is uncomfortable with her presence at times and yet he does nothing to help the situation. And now he is dumping it in your lap to handle her regarding your requests on your big day. Maybe you can appeal to him in another week or so after he's cooled off about it? Sounds to me like he knows its his responsibility to deal with the situation and yet he doesn't want to - and that's why he's making you feel guilty.
By the way - I'm not sure why an aunt would need to be called in any case to be told you are in labor.
ITA and was thinking the same thing. If that was my dad I would tell him that he needs to put MY Feelings first on the most important day of my life. I told my family the same thing about wanting only immediate family there ONLY. I have NO problem telling my relatives to their face how I feel b/c they too can be very overbearing...but they know me well and know I don't take any of their $hit. The sooner you assert yourself the less you will have to deal with later. Good luck to you and be strong!!
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| Posted 2/18/10 12:55 PM |
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