need advice and quik

my mom is going to be a grandma, she just found out today. No not me but Big Yeh for my Lil Bro.

My mom keeps talking about how hard and long they tried and that after all they went thru this was finally it and on, and on, and on. you get the point. I havent said anything to my mom about having issues going to a RE. My brother did and after hearing her talk about how bad it makes her feel for them, (never thinking I may be in the same boat) I wanna scream. I am happy shes happy but seriously I want to just change the topic thats all she wants to talk about.

What can I do? I purposely try to stay away from that topic and all she does is tell me when she was preg or this one was/is pregnant. I cant tell her and I dont know what to do. I just wish I could say those words she wants to hear from me. It hurts me that I cant share this with her, that its not a matter of relaxing or being the right time but that its just not happening.
I pray this is my month..

I need words of advice to curtail the conversation that torture me with each word
Thx.

Re: need advice and quik

I am not sure your reasons for not telling her about your need to work with an RE. But maybe it is time to tell her something so that she can understand your place in life a little better?

Re: need advice and quik

shes a worrier. when my brother told her they were going thru IF she cried and was very upset. Thats why she turned to me to talk about it. I couldnt have said to her that I know what hes going thru myself it would kill her. Im going to be 39 this year and she still thinks I am waiiting it out. She would never ask me. I can tell her not now. I just want her to not talk to me about babies. If i was to ask her not to she would question why I am asking. Im stuck DH wants to tell no one. I cant blame him either

Re: need advice and quik

I know how you feel because when we were going through it the first time and again now, no one knows. After I got PG I did tell our families that we did IVF and such, but they had no idea we were even trying yet. This time around, we again havent told anyone except a few friends.

My mom is like yours in that she is a worrier. My bro and sis give her a run for her money and she has some of her own health issues going on. Afterwards she was a little upset that she didnt know because she felt like she could have been there for me, but she knows I am not the mushy gushy type and need to deal with things my own way, so she understood.

I just cant deal with constantly having to update family members, especially when there is bad news. I would rather just wait to have the good news so everyone can be happy and excited. Even though my mom probably wouldnt be constantly asking for updates, I would know she would be wondering about it every time I saw her.

I dont think you can get her to stop talking to you about babies unless you tell her. Maybe you can just try and curb the conversation when it goes in that direction?

Re: need advice and quik

Thanks Im sorry you have to go thru the same thing as me. I hope the both of us get to give the good news soon.
Until then I will have to just endure the conversation and try to move it into another direction.
Good luck to you this go around

Re: need advice and quik

Well I can understand why you don't want to tell her since it worries her. My family (in-laws too) knew bc we needed help watching DSS at different times for procedures. If they worried, they were able to keep it to themselves. I hope things turn out well for you so that baby conversations can become enjoyable instead of trying.