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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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my keys just don't like me
...and I think they're on a suicide mission, here's why:
Friday was my day off... Woke my son up early and headed to the gym... with plans of cleaning the apartment, feeding him a snack and then heading out to the park for the rest of the afternoon.
I realized I had a 40lb bucket of cat litter in my trunk I *needed* to get to my apt so I gave my keys to my son to hold until we (slowly....) made our way to the apt...
finally in the elevator... Aidan, my adorable loving son, was excited to unlock the apt door (I don't know... these kind of things excite an (almost) 8 year old.)
The elevator dings, I pick up the 1000lb bucket of cat litter I have been slowly lugging down the street, and we start to walk out of the elevator...
When my son DROPS the keys...
It seemed like forever they were lingering there taunting us, on the 1 & 1/2 inch opening to vast blackness that is the elevator shaft. It was probably no more than 2 seconds before they decided to take a chance and escaped their life...
"you will no longer make us live in such cramped spaces... car keys, office keys, keys to mom & dad's home , mom & dad's summer home, upper and lower lock, front door lock, the garage key, the garage door opener, cvs card, walbaums card, key food cat, Met card, Petco card, cards for stores you don't even frequent but have on there JUST IN CASE, your new gym membership card that makes all the other cards feel insecure... we just can't take it so peace out homey.. we want our freedom."
So they lingered and within those few seconds just slithered their way down the shaft.... to which I muttered obscenities that would make me owe my son $$ (we have a potty word system) and my son started to cry b/c it was he who dropped them...
Down the elevator shaft, 4 floors they went... their destination, unknown...
and hour and a 1/2 later, me in my sweaty gyms clothes, my son withOUT his psp, having an (almost) 8 year old crisis b/c he feels somewhat guilty but it isnt the worst thing in the world to happe, sitting on a 1782783 lb bucket of cat litter... The elevator dings...
Ray The Porter to the rescue.
life is good again... I have been reunited with those little metal children I have come to love and rely on... (as well as the plastic ones who save me $.50 off a package of paper towels, tissues, fantasic WHATEVER... they were mine again.
until this afternoon...
I will continue if anyone has the attention span to read this entire monstrosity of a post, and wishes to KNOW what my keys have done to taunt me today....
Message edited 4/28/2008 11:12:48 PM.
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Posted 4/28/08 11:06 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Epeebes
Easy Peasy!
Member since 11/07 1428 total posts
Name:
Epeebes
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Re: my keys just don't like me
i wanna know! the suspense is killing me!
im bored and need a good read 
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:12 PM |
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an9elic
♥ HJ ♥
Member since 6/07 3331 total posts
Name:
kristen
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Re: my keys just don't like me
i need to know the rest of the story....... dont do this to me!!! 
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:12 PM |
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Holly
Prayers to those who need them
Member since 5/05 6631 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: my keys just don't like me
OMG PIMP!!
CONTINUE!!
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:13 PM |
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JenMarie
One day at a time
Member since 11/07 7397 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: my keys just don't like me
I so needed a good laugh and the way you wrote that was hysterical. And yes, now I need to knwo what happened today.
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:13 PM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: my keys just don't like me
Posted by carolinep24
today.... they plotted their
Finish the story--I can't stand the suspense! I hate when inanimate objects conspire against us.
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:13 PM |
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EckoRed81504
We are complete <3
Member since 12/07 6299 total posts
Name:
April
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Re: my keys just don't like me
Jeeeez woman..talk about a cliffhanger
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:16 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: my keys just don't like me
Posted by EckoRed81504
Jeeeez woman..talk about a cliffhanger
seriously!!!!!!!! WE NEED MORE!
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:17 PM |
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Reese32
LIF Adult
Member since 7/07 3631 total posts
Name:
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Re: my keys just don't like me
Don't leave us in suspense!!!
And, I'm dying to know how many pounds of cat litter you're up to! 
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:17 PM |
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Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥
Member since 5/06 28918 total posts
Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™
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Re: my keys just don't like me
Posted by Reese32
Don't leave us in suspense!!!
And, I'm dying to know how many pounds of cat litter you're up to!
Me too!
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:18 PM |
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janet
WITH LOVE MY ANGEL MISS YOU!!!
Member since 5/05 12823 total posts
Name:
janet
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Re: my keys just don't like me
spill the beans girl 
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:19 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: my keys just don't like me
it's not just your keys that don't like you.
damn blogger. 
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:20 PM |
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MeeshkaMich
LL=Yum
Member since 2/06 5616 total posts
Name:
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Re: my keys just don't like me
omg I need know now and how many lbs have you reached now
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:21 PM |
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janet
WITH LOVE MY ANGEL MISS YOU!!!
Member since 5/05 12823 total posts
Name:
janet
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Re: my keys just don't like me
oh i get she is waiting for a certin amount of replies to finish the story.... as in michelle's words from full house HOW RUDE
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:23 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: my keys just don't like me
A rainy afternoon on a busy queens boulevard is not a reason to rush hastily.
Upon picking my son up from his babysitter, driving to his pediatrician's office on Main Street, JUSt to drop off those oh so needed camp medical forms, I realized I needed to run to the bank and make a quick deposit.
A spot right out front, SCORE!
Money still in the meter... SCORE!
Aidan, sit right here, mommy is running inside to make a deposit...
My umbrella s ucks b/c half of it is broken and n actuality I'm only holding 1/2 the umbrella...
In the bank, i throw my bag, my keys and my bank card onto the glass counter and grab one of those pens who's wire never quite unravels enough for you to write normally with, start filling out my deposit slip when I hear this strange sound.
The sounds of 127817821 little keys and club card memberships leaping to their death.
My keys? What was that?
I move my bag and realize my fate.
The letters spell it out for me as my heart drops...
W-A-S-T-E
and the 1/2 inch hole that divides me and my livelihood.
my keys have descended into the 'waste receptacle' hole the bank has provided underneath the table...
I can see them... staring up at me... laughing at me... taunting me.. and I tried to stick my hand in there but only my fat little fingers could reach...
They love me no more...
should I let them go?
I cannot.
I have an ace in the hole with little arms, and he is sitting in the car in my view.
I run out, battling the rain without the umbrella who doesn't work to begin with and tap on the window for my little hero to open the car locks.
I tell him..."Hero, I need you... and your little arms"
He rushes to the mission without question and I am so determined I don't even bother to lock the doors to my car... (If you lived in my neighborhood you would think I was crazy...)
but I am... my keys have made me so.
We try... his arms not quite small enough to reach... I try a pen... some tape i had in my purse (don't ask)...
Thoughts of going to the Rite Aid next door to buy a hanger were entering my mind when my (almost) 8 year old suggests we look under the table to see if we can open the receptacle.
I was willing to pry open whatever receptacle may be, but alas... the only security keeping me from the waste is one little button.
I hold my breath and slide it...
paper rolls out and within moments... my little metal children....
cheers are heard from the mountain side
(ok-- from my son & I and the voices in my head)
but my heart is relaxed and I once again grab ahold to my little prisoners...
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:26 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: my keys just don't like me
Posted by janet
oh i get she is waiting for a certin amount of replies to finish the story.... as in michelle's words from full house HOW RUDE
nope, I have been WRITING the sequel....
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:27 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: my keys just don't like me
who knew that keys could bring such pain for you and laughter for us.
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:29 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: my keys just don't like me
Dear Caroline...
From your keys:
If you need somebody, call my name
If you want someone, you can do the same
If you want to keep something precious
You got to lock it up and throw away the key
If you want to hold onto your possession
Don't even think about me
If you love somebody, set them free
If it's a mirror you want, just look into my eyes
Or a whipping boy, someone to despise
Or a prisoner in the dark
Tied up in chains you just can't see
Or a beast in a gilded cage
That's all some people ever want to be
If you love somebody, set them free
You can't control an independent heart
Can't tear the one you love apart
Forever conditioned to believe that we can't live
We can't live here and be happy with less
So many riches, so many souls
Everything we see we want to possess
If you need somebody, call my name
If you want someone, you can do the same
If you want to keep something precious
You got to lock it up and throw away the key
If you want to hold onto your possession
Don't even think about me
If you love somebody, set them free
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:31 PM |
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MeeshkaMich
LL=Yum
Member since 2/06 5616 total posts
Name:
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Re: my keys just don't like me
omg I can't wait untl tomorrow for more
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:31 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: my keys just don't like me
Posted by MrsPJB2007
who knew that keys could bring such pain for you and laughter for us.
my son was so distraught over dropping them down the elevator shaft that the day after we got them back, i brought it up and said: 'how funny was it that we dropped them down there???'
trying to make light of the situation and to show him that it wasn't an EMERGENCY... to not freak out in those situations..
when this thing happened today i couldn't help but laugh at myself.
suffice to say, my son feels 110% better about what happened on Friday, because, mommy made the same mistake...
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:32 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: my keys just don't like me
Posted by MeeshkaMich
omg I can't wait untl tomorrow for more
HUSH YOUR MOUTH...
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:32 PM |
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Epeebes
Easy Peasy!
Member since 11/07 1428 total posts
Name:
Epeebes
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Re: my keys just don't like me
i feel complete
now i can sleep tonite
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:32 PM |
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MeeshkaMich
LL=Yum
Member since 2/06 5616 total posts
Name:
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Re: my keys just don't like me
Posted by carolinep24
Posted by MeeshkaMich
omg I can't wait untl tomorrow for more
HUSH YOUR MOUTH...
 
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:33 PM |
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janet
WITH LOVE MY ANGEL MISS YOU!!!
Member since 5/05 12823 total posts
Name:
janet
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Re: my keys just don't like me
i am glad you got your little metal children back. i loss or lock my keys in the car all the time.
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:34 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: my keys just don't like me
Posted by carolinep24
HUSH YOUR MOUTH...
this comment made me giggle.
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| Posted 4/28/08 11:34 PM |
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