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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by Blu-ize
Tell him if he doesn't do this for his father, you will pack him up and send dad to him. Be serious. Call him out on it.
I also think you are being way too nice to him. You really need to demand he sacrifice something for the man that gave him life.
Dear Brother,
I asked you nicely and now I have to insist. This cannot all fall on me. I have made the biggest sacrifices for our father to date with zero help from you. You should be ashamed of yourself. It's obvious that your time is much more valuable than mine. Have you cured cancer yet? Because unless you are working on a cure for cancer, the answer to global warming and world peace, there is no excuse for not participating.
I can't change who you are (obviously self absorbed and selfish) but I can sure change what I think of you and how will relate to you.
I hope the day never comes that you need help. If it does, I will not be there to help you. If you were standing in front of me right now, I would slap some sense into you.
Good luck.
Your sister...
Love it, just love it 
I'm still waiting to hear his response from my email asking him to consider taking off from his work as DH and I are doing (that's right, my DH, who has NO blood relation to my father, has done more than anyone else in my godforsaken family).
Depending on his response, I think I will be sending your oh-so-eloquent email to him, and the other screw up in VA.
Feel free...no charge!
I've developed anatomy that I never knew I had.
Message edited 8/23/2007 2:30:30 PM.
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Posted 8/23/07 2:29 PM  |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Blu-ize
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Posted by Blu-ize
Tell him if he doesn't do this for his father, you will pack him up and send dad to him. Be serious. Call him out on it.
I also think you are being way too nice to him. You really need to demand he sacrifice something for the man that gave him life.
Dear Brother,
I asked you nicely and now I have to insist. This cannot all fall on me. I have made the biggest sacrifices for our father to date with zero help from you. You should be ashamed of yourself. It's obvious that your time is much more valuable than mine. Have you cured cancer yet? Because unless you are working on a cure for cancer, the answer to global warming and world peace, there is no excuse for not participating.
I can't change who you are (obviously self absorbed and selfish) but I can sure change what I think of you and how will relate to you.
I hope the day never comes that you need help. If it does, I will not be there to help you. If you were standing in front of me right now, I would slap some sense into you.
Good luck.
Your sister...
possibly a little strong - but we get the idea 
I'm in the middle of a similar situation....believe me, the tone, the sarcasm and the threats are necessary. The level to which your life is turned upside down is astounding when caring for someone who can't do things for themselves. It's a full time job and I know exactly how Beth is feeling.
This letter would merely be what I would send.
Beth, I hope you get some help girl, because you deserve it.
i know you do - so i see that the emotion will be stronger.
When the time comes for me, I have no siblings - it's just me
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:31 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by Shelly
You have every right to be mad! What a d*ck!!!
He is a selfish person and it will catch up with him. Someone who cannot give of themselves, cannot truly receive from others. In the end, he will be alone with no one to help him when he needs it.
True dat. I guess it's no big suprise that he's 34 and still single. 
DH is going to FLIP when he hears about this  I'm so ashamed of my family considering all that his mother does for us. It's such a disgrace
Beth, it is scarey how we are living the exact same life right now.
I'm telling you both of our brothers are going to get it in their next lifetime for their immaturity, endless c r a p and constant sense of entitlement they have shown for all of these years.
I know my brother is building himself a special place in @#$%.   and if he gets what he deserves will be alone too.
You and I need to go out for a drink.
ETA: You too Blu-ize 
Please, men of the world DO NOT run out on your parents when they need care. Your siblings (sisters) need you... your parents need you.
Message edited 8/23/2007 2:35:39 PM.
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:33 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
I have no real advice, but I do know that brothers can be complete
sh!theads sometimes......
He may come around on his own, but then again, he may not. Sorry for you to have to go through this....
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:37 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Don-I know being the only child is scary if faced with this. On top of my brother I have elderly parents. My brother was no help to me at all because he couldn't even help himself. Now that he's sick, I am the only child.
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:38 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Did someone say drink?
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:38 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Blu-ize
Don-I know being the only child is scary if faced with this. On top of my brother I have elderly parents. My brother was no help to me at all because he couldn't even help himself. Now that he's sick, I am the only child.
yep - we'll have to take it one step at a time when the time comes
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:39 PM |
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gottaluvmusik
Just the 4 of us
Member since 12/06 3554 total posts
Name:
Andrea
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
He could definitely reschedule his lessons... i am a music teacher to and I know I would reschedule for something like this if I had a WEEK notice let a lone a month!!
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:41 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Beth-do let us know what your brother writes back.
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:45 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Blu-ize
Did someone say drink?
I heard it too!
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:50 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Blu-ize
Beth-do let us know what your brother writes back.
and if he still won't help, give us his address and we'll come down and kick some selfish assssss
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:51 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Posted by Blu-ize
Don-I know being the only child is scary if faced with this. On top of my brother I have elderly parents. My brother was no help to me at all because he couldn't even help himself. Now that he's sick, I am the only child.
yep - we'll have to take it one step at a time when the time comes
This is what I worry about for my daughter. She is my only child and worry about this a lot.
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:51 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Mssissy
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Posted by Blu-ize
Don-I know being the only child is scary if faced with this. On top of my brother I have elderly parents. My brother was no help to me at all because he couldn't even help himself. Now that he's sick, I am the only child.
yep - we'll have to take it one step at a time when the time comes
This is what I worry about for my daughter. She is my only child and worry about this a lot.
it is scary - i think about it sometimes. We moved across the street from them, so that I can be there when need be. They're not meddlesome (that much ), so it works out fine.
The way we have it set up is that when one goes, the other will help me get things in order.
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:54 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Mssissy
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Posted by Blu-ize
Don-I know being the only child is scary if faced with this. On top of my brother I have elderly parents. My brother was no help to me at all because he couldn't even help himself. Now that he's sick, I am the only child.
yep - we'll have to take it one step at a time when the time comes
This is what I worry about for my daughter. She is my only child and worry about this a lot.
This is one of the main reasons I want to have 2 children (DH only wants one). I saw my mom go through this. She has a sister, who lives in Paris. My dad was an only child and passed away before his father. My mom had to take care of her elderly parents (her mom was bedbound) and my other grandfather by herself. I helped a little, but I was in school and my mom always wanted me to focus on my studies, and spare me the details of taking care of my grandparents. When my mom's dad passed got sick, her sister wanted to be involved so she would fly in every Friday and leave every Sunday- which meant my mom and I would be picking her up and dropping her off at the airport after spending all day in the hospital
Its sad when siblings don't help out in caring for your parents. Especially when your parents have been good to you 
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:57 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH
Beth, it is scarey how we are living the exact same life right now.
I'm telling you both of our brothers are going to get it in their next lifetime for their immaturity, endless c r a p and constant sense of entitlement they have shown for all of these years.
I know my brother is building himself a special place in @#$%. and if he gets what he deserves will be alone too.
You and I need to go out for a drink.
ETA: You too Blu-ize
Please, men of the world DO NOT run out on your parents when they need care. Your siblings (sisters) need you... your parents need you.
And while they're writhing in pain, all by themselves, in H E L L, we should be catered to - with massages, pedicures, and all you can drink margueritas
Really, though, I feel your pain - and I would kill for a drink...
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:57 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
i am so sorry
i see my future in your post!
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:59 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Shelly
Posted by Blu-ize
Beth-do let us know what your brother writes back.
and if he still won't help, give us his address and we'll come down and kick some selfish assssss
Ahhhhhhhh what would I do without my LIF girls?
Someone needs warn my bro, and the other crappy bros of the world, about the LIF gang
P.S. Susan, I'll let you know when I hear back
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:59 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Mssissy
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Posted by Blu-ize
Don-I know being the only child is scary if faced with this. On top of my brother I have elderly parents. My brother was no help to me at all because he couldn't even help himself. Now that he's sick, I am the only child.
yep - we'll have to take it one step at a time when the time comes
This is what I worry about for my daughter. She is my only child and worry about this a lot.
The sad thing is that no matter how many children one has there is usually only one that takes the reigns in caring for an elderly/disabled family member. I've seen this happen in countless families.
I did everything for my father for nine years... cooked every meal, cleaned, shopped, invested what little money he had, cared for his house, every doctor's visit and stayed with him through two hospitalizations because he can't speak. I gave up my apt. and moved back into his house for several years. I made tremendous sacrifices while my brother did nothing but take advantage of the situation. I can't go into details because I am seriously considering taking legal action against my brother on behalf of my father... yes, it's gotten THAT bad. Beth knows the story. If I posted it everyone who reads it would be agasp.
Like, Beth, our parents nurtured and cared for us, clothed us, fed us, educated us... everything. We were raised in the same home. So why does it all fall to one sibling and the other siblings continue their completely disfunctional existance? Trust me, its enough work caring for my Dad but the added stress and drama my brother pulls on a consistent basis leads me to belief that, in this situation, I (and perhaps Beth) would be better off not having the sibling that I do.
Message edited 8/23/2007 3:10:45 PM.
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| Posted 8/23/07 3:07 PM |
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JessieQ
Rest in Peace baby Rogan
Member since 6/07 1122 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Blu-ize
Dear Brother,
I asked you nicely and now I have to insist. This cannot all fall on me. I have made the biggest sacrifices for our father to date with zero help from you. You should be ashamed of yourself. It's obvious that your time is much more valuable than mine. Have you cured cancer yet? Because unless you are working on a cure for cancer, the answer to global warming and world peace, there is no excuse for not participating.
I can't change who you are (obviously self absorbed and selfish) but I can sure change what I think of you and how will relate to you.
I hope the day never comes that you need help. If it does, I will not be there to help you. If you were standing in front of me right now, I would slap some sense into you.
Good luck.
Your sister...
If he still says no to your latest e-mail, I definitely think you should send this! Maybe if he's not coddled for once he'll learn to grow up, and even if he doesn't he'll at least get the point that you won't deal with his ^ any more.
Sorry you're going through this right now! Hopefully you'll catch that break soon!
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| Posted 8/23/07 3:10 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH
Trust me, its enough work caring for my Dad but the added stress and drama my brother pulls on a consistent basis leads me to belief that, in this situation, I (and perhaps Beth) would be better off not having the sibling that I do.
I was going to say this, but I didn't want to offend anyone. But, really, in a way, I think it might just be easier as an only child because then you don't have the expectations, the let-downs, the frustration and anger. That's what bogs me down more than anything. I love helping my father, I really do, because he gave me more than anyone in this world could ever. What makes me so sad and depressed, on a daily basis, is watching how his other children treat him, and me, and having such high expectations, or not so high, that are always, ALWAYS frustrated.
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| Posted 8/23/07 3:13 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH
Posted by Mssissy
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Posted by Blu-ize
Don-I know being the only child is scary if faced with this. On top of my brother I have elderly parents. My brother was no help to me at all because he couldn't even help himself. Now that he's sick, I am the only child.
yep - we'll have to take it one step at a time when the time comes
This is what I worry about for my daughter. She is my only child and worry about this a lot.
The sad thing is that no matter how many children one has there is usually only one that takes the reigns in caring for an elderly/disabled family member. I've seen this happen in countless families.
I did everything for my father for nine years... cooked every meal, cleaned, shopped, invested what little money he had, cared for his house, every doctor's visit and stayed with him through two hospitalizations because he can't speak. I gave up my apt. and moved back into his house for several years. I made tremendous sacrifices while my brother did nothing but take advantage of the situation. I can't go into details because I am seriously considering taking legal action against my brother on behalf of my father... yes, it's gotten THAT bad.
Like, Beth, our parents gave nurtured and cared for us, clothed us, fed us, educated us... everything. We were raised in the same home. So why does it all fall to one sibling and the other siblings continue their completely disfunctional existance? Trust me, its enough work caring for my Dad but the added stress and drama our brothers pull on a consistent basis leads me to belief that, in this situation, I would be better off not having the sibling that I do.
This is so true. I don't understand it. My mother took care of her mother in law. . . much more than her OWN daughter ever did!
I know - that in the (hopefully distant) future that I will not only be responsible for my parents but also my inlaws. . . my brother has already distanced himself from my family and my sister has two developmentally disabled children. . .((Although she will most likely try to help as much as possible!)) As for my in-laws. . . it is a constant joke about how I will be the one taking care of them.
It is almost always this way and I can't understand why. You are right, all of the children were raised the same why - so how could they all turn out so different?
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| Posted 8/23/07 3:13 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Tilde
all of the children were raised the same why - so how could they all turn out so different?
The million dollar question...
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| Posted 8/23/07 3:19 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH
Trust me, its enough work caring for my Dad but the added stress and drama my brother pulls on a consistent basis leads me to belief that, in this situation, I (and perhaps Beth) would be better off not having the sibling that I do.
I was going to say this, but I didn't want to offend anyone. But, really, in a way, I think it might just be easier as an only child because then you don't have the expectations, the let-downs, the frustration and anger. That's what bogs me down more than anything. I love helping my father, I really do, because he gave me more than anyone in this world could ever. What makes me so sad and depressed, on a daily basis, is watching how his other children treat him, and me, and having such high expectations, or not so high, that are always, ALWAYS frustrated.
I hope noone takes offense but in every similar situation (with the exception of one) that I have witnessed this has been the case. Absent siblings are one thing, siblings that live across the country are another but ones who make an already stressful, upsetting and often just downright tragic the situation WORSE infuriate me They are so unbelievably selfabsorbed and greedy that when and if they do help their parents well... you better have the Notre Dame marching band on call because they think they deserve a parade OR they will help but in the same breath say... "What's in it for me?" I SWEAR I've heard that What's in it for them? Dear brother, Dad gave you LIFE you @$$ and a good one.
Beth is right. Our situations have gotten so bad that, at this point, our brothers are truly building a special place in h e l l for themselves. You do not do that to your parents.
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| Posted 8/23/07 3:24 PM |
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Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
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| Posted 8/23/07 3:34 PM |
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