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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Yeah, so, taking all of your advice, I emailed him and asked if he would help Dh and I pack up my Dad's stuff, and move it all to his new place, unpack, and set up all the furniture. This would take place on a Sunday and a Monday.
DH and I are both taking off work on Monday to do this, and we're going to have to spend a whole bunch of moola to hire a babysitter for all day Sunday to watch our daughter while we do this.
My brother is a music tutor so he has lessons all day on Sunday and starting at 3pm on Monday.
So he just emailed me back, after I TOLD him Dh and I are taking Monday off from work and hiring a babysitter for Sunday, and said he can't help Sunday because he has lessons all day, and can only help until 2pm on Monday because of his lessons.
So, I guess it's ok that DH and I sacrifice a work-day and shell out money for a babysitter, but his job as a music tutor is OHHHHHHH SOOOO IMPORTANT that he can't do the same, right?!!
I am FUMING MAD right now
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Posted 8/23/07 12:15 PM  |
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JodiBabe
Married for 9 yrs!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6672 total posts
Name:
Jodi
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
 
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| Posted 8/23/07 12:17 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
You have every right to be mad! What a d*ck!!!
He is a selfish person and it will catch up with him. Someone who cannot give of themselves, cannot truly receive from others. In the end, he will be alone with no one to help him when he needs it.
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| Posted 8/23/07 12:17 PM |
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Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥
Member since 5/06 28918 total posts
Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
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| Posted 8/23/07 12:20 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Shelly
You have every right to be mad! What a d*ck!!!
He is a selfish person and it will catch up with him. Someone who cannot give of themselves, cannot truly receive from others. In the end, he will be alone with no one to help him when he needs it.
True dat. I guess it's no big suprise that he's 34 and still single. 
DH is going to FLIP when he hears about this  I'm so ashamed of my family considering all that his mother does for us. It's such a disgrace
Message edited 8/23/2007 12:26:41 PM.
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| Posted 8/23/07 12:25 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
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| Posted 8/23/07 12:27 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
I'm sorry he's not being more flexible.
I know it's frustrating. But sometimes it's just easier to not ask for the help from someone who isn't dependable. Save yourself the aggravation.
Like another poster mentioned, this will all catch up to him in the end.
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| Posted 8/23/07 12:31 PM |
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Bluepixie
Mamarazzi
Member since 6/07 2618 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Oh man! Well, it's obviously not going to do any good getting mad about it. Unless you point out to him how selfish he's being, suggest that for this ONE DAY he could sacrifice his own plans the way you have to help out your Dad.
Ugh- if I lived near you, I'd watch your DD. DH needs some kid practice anyway
Seriously!
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| Posted 8/23/07 12:36 PM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Shelly
He is a selfish person and it will catch up with him. Someone who cannot give of themselves, cannot truly receive from others. In the end, he will be alone with no one to help him when he needs it.
yeah, but he has a sister like Beth who WILL help him if he ever needs it
Beth it sucks when siblings suck. Just know you are doing your best and helping your dad. Sometimes the closest people to you let you down the most...it adds stress and drama to your life, but try and limit its effects.
I have a couple of these (big families=big drama) just don't expect anything from them and unfortunately know that you are the bigger and better person...
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| Posted 8/23/07 12:42 PM |
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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
wow, that sucks!!
Did you call him out on it?? I would be livid if I had to lose a full day's pay, plus a babysitter, when I am sure he could just reschedule his lessons for another time, and not really lose any $$.
This is the issue when one sibling does 99% of the work. The other gets so comfortable with not doing anything, that when you do ask something of them they act like it's the end of the world!
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| Posted 8/23/07 12:43 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Karen
wow, that sucks!!
Did you call him out on it?? I would be livid if I had to lose a full day's pay, plus a babysitter, when I am sure he could just reschedule his lessons for another time, and not really lose any $$.
This is the issue when one sibling does 99% of the work. The other gets so comfortable with not doing anything, that when you do ask something of them they act like it's the end of the world!
This is a serious hardship to me, too, because Alex's school is closed two days every week in September. I will be using all of my vacation time, so the day I'm taking off for my dad will have to be unpaid.
I wrote him back - saying, "DH and I are both taking Monday off from work, because otherwise it just won't get done. Will you consider taking off from some of your work as well to help?"
I already know what his response will be, unfortunately.
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| Posted 8/23/07 12:46 PM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Don't be ashamed of your family, be proud that you aren't like that!
I would NOT hesitate to let your brother know what a disappointment he has been throughout this whole process. He deserves to know what an azz he's been.
Sorry this is so frustrating for you
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| Posted 8/23/07 12:48 PM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Bxgell2
I'm so ashamed of my family considering all that his mother does for us. It's such a disgrace
do NOT be ashamed of your family. You can't choose them...each and every crazy one of them. everyone has issues...my MIL does a lot for Bella babysitting and stuff because she lives closer and is a lot less busy than my Dad.
I know the added stress of daycare closing in September isn't helping
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| Posted 8/23/07 12:57 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
while i feel bad for your situation - i do have one question
this is all happening this coming Monday?
If so, did you just email him about this today?
If so, that's not alot of lead time, and maybe he legitimately couldn't take off on such short notice
again, i dont know all the particulars...
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| Posted 8/23/07 1:13 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
while i feel bad for your situation - i do have one question
this is all happening this coming Monday?
If so, did you just email him about this today?
If so, that's not alot of lead time, and maybe he legitimately couldn't take off on such short notice
again, i dont know all the particulars...
No, I wouldn't be so mad if that were the case - this is for the first weekend in October. PLENTY of notice so he can try to reschedule.
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| Posted 8/23/07 1:22 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
while i feel bad for your situation - i do have one question
this is all happening this coming Monday?
If so, did you just email him about this today?
If so, that's not alot of lead time, and maybe he legitimately couldn't take off on such short notice
again, i dont know all the particulars...
No, I wouldn't be so mad if that were the case - this is for the first weekend in October. PLENTY of notice so he can try to reschedule.
then i stand corrected - that's horrible on his part
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| Posted 8/23/07 1:23 PM |
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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
while i feel bad for your situation - i do have one question
this is all happening this coming Monday?
If so, did you just email him about this today?
If so, that's not alot of lead time, and maybe he legitimately couldn't take off on such short notice
again, i dont know all the particulars...
No, I wouldn't be so mad if that were the case - this is for the first weekend in October. PLENTY of notice so he can try to reschedule.
alrighty, now I'm even more pi$sed for you!! that is pure BS that he can't reschedule lessons with a full months' notice!! Does he never take a vacation or get sick??
Message edited 8/23/2007 1:45:17 PM.
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| Posted 8/23/07 1:45 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Karen
alrighty, now I'm even more pi$sed for you!! that is pure BS that he can't reschedule lessons with a full months' notice!! Does he never take a vacation or get sick??
Oh yes, he takes days off all the time to see his favorite band, go on vacation, etc.
In fact, he is spending the whole month of August in Israel. Why August? Because our cousins are going on an expensive vacation so he scheduled his visit to coincide so they would have to take him. Meaning, full-expense paid vacation on them.
How do I know this?
He told me. He goes to Israel every year, and brags about how they won't let him spend a dime. Because my parents paid for everything when our cousins came to the US and stayed with us.
Yes. He's 34.
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| Posted 8/23/07 1:48 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by mommy2bella
I know the added stress of daycare closing in September isn't helping
SERIOUSLY.
No joke, every single week in September they are closed for 2 days. Normally not a problem, but our favorite teacher, and Alex's babysitter, just quit and moved to another school.
This will be a fun-filled month 
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:11 PM |
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
I am so sorry!!!!
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:19 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Tell him if he doesn't do this for his father, you will pack him up and send dad to him. Be serious. Call him out on it.
I also think you are being way too nice to him. You really need to demand he sacrifice something for the man that gave him life.
Dear Brother,
I asked you nicely and now I have to insist. This cannot all fall on me. I have made the biggest sacrifices for our father to date with zero help from you. You should be ashamed of yourself. It's obvious that your time is much more valuable than mine. Have you cured cancer yet? Because unless you are working on a cure for cancer, the answer to global warming and world peace, there is no excuse for not participating.
I can't change who you are (obviously self absorbed and selfish) but I can sure change what I think of you and how will relate to you.
I hope the day never comes that you need help. If it does, I will not be there to help you. If you were standing in front of me right now, I would slap some sense into you.
Good luck.
Your sister...
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:20 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Blu-ize
Tell him if he doesn't do this for his father, you will pack him up and send dad to him. Be serious. Call him out on it.
I also think you are being way too nice to him. You really need to demand he sacrifice something for the man that gave him life.
Dear Brother,
I asked you nicely and now I have to insist. This cannot all fall on me. I have made the biggest sacrifices for our father to date with zero help from you. You should be ashamed of yourself. It's obvious that your time is much more valuable than mine. Have you cured cancer yet? Because unless you are working on a cure for cancer, the answer to global warming and world peace, there is no excuse for not participating.
I can't change who you are (obviously self absorbed and selfish) but I can sure change what I think of you and how will relate to you.
I hope the day never comes that you need help. If it does, I will not be there to help you. If you were standing in front of me right now, I would slap some sense into you.
Good luck.
Your sister...
possibly a little strong - but we get the idea 
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:22 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Blu-ize
Dear Brother,
I asked you nicely and now I have to insist. This cannot all fall on me. I have made the biggest sacrifices for our father to date with zero help from you. You should be ashamed of yourself. It's obvious that your time is much more valuable than mine. Have you cured cancer yet? Because unless you are working on a cure for cancer, the answer to global warming and world peace, there is no excuse for not participating.
I can't change who you are (obviously self absorbed and selfish) but I can sure change what I think of you and how will relate to you.
I hope the day never comes that you need help. If it does, I will not be there to help you. If you were standing in front of me right now, I would slap some sense into you.
Good luck.
Your sister...
What a great letter!!
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:23 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by Blu-ize
Tell him if he doesn't do this for his father, you will pack him up and send dad to him. Be serious. Call him out on it.
I also think you are being way too nice to him. You really need to demand he sacrifice something for the man that gave him life.
Dear Brother,
I asked you nicely and now I have to insist. This cannot all fall on me. I have made the biggest sacrifices for our father to date with zero help from you. You should be ashamed of yourself. It's obvious that your time is much more valuable than mine. Have you cured cancer yet? Because unless you are working on a cure for cancer, the answer to global warming and world peace, there is no excuse for not participating.
I can't change who you are (obviously self absorbed and selfish) but I can sure change what I think of you and how will relate to you.
I hope the day never comes that you need help. If it does, I will not be there to help you. If you were standing in front of me right now, I would slap some sense into you.
Good luck.
Your sister...
Love it, just love it 
I'm still waiting to hear his response from my email asking him to consider taking off from his work as DH and I are doing (that's right, my DH, who has NO blood relation to my father, has done more than anyone else in my godforsaken family).
Depending on his response, I think I will be sending your oh-so-eloquent email to him, and the other screw up in VA.
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:27 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: My brother is a #$%@$%@#$!
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Posted by Blu-ize
Tell him if he doesn't do this for his father, you will pack him up and send dad to him. Be serious. Call him out on it.
I also think you are being way too nice to him. You really need to demand he sacrifice something for the man that gave him life.
Dear Brother,
I asked you nicely and now I have to insist. This cannot all fall on me. I have made the biggest sacrifices for our father to date with zero help from you. You should be ashamed of yourself. It's obvious that your time is much more valuable than mine. Have you cured cancer yet? Because unless you are working on a cure for cancer, the answer to global warming and world peace, there is no excuse for not participating.
I can't change who you are (obviously self absorbed and selfish) but I can sure change what I think of you and how will relate to you.
I hope the day never comes that you need help. If it does, I will not be there to help you. If you were standing in front of me right now, I would slap some sense into you.
Good luck.
Your sister...
possibly a little strong - but we get the idea
I'm in the middle of a similar situation....believe me, the tone, the sarcasm and the threats are necessary. The level to which your life is turned upside down is astounding when caring for someone who can't do things for themselves. It's a full time job and I know exactly how Beth is feeling.
This letter would merely be what I would send.
Beth, I hope you get some help girl, because you deserve it.
Message edited 8/23/2007 2:28:43 PM.
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| Posted 8/23/07 2:28 PM |
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