mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

hi! i'm so barely pregnant i almost feel silly posting on this board. i just got my bfp this week, so i am at 4 weeks. i won't see my OB until 6 weeks. here's the tricky part - i'll be spending one on one time with my mom this weekend for mother's day and am really excited to reveal the news, but i'm really torn about whether i should say something before i even see the doc later this month. i am definitely having some classic early symptoms and nothing alarming has happened yet. but i know the stats and it's not uncommon to lose an early pregnancy. if i told my mom this weekend, i know she would keep it a secret and we wouldn't tell anyone else until after we saw a heartbeat. i guess i'm not afraid of having to tell my mom bad news if things don't go well in the coming weeks - i would be more annoyed that my TTC secret was out of the bag to her, haha. i am very private and would never discuss with anyone IRL about our TTC plans.

what would you do in this situation??

Re: mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

Here's how I looked at it when I got my BFP:

My mom, sister, and I are very close (well, I'm close w/ my entire immediately family - dad and brother as well) but I said to myself, I'm going to tell them (just immediate) because if, GOD FORBID, something happened I would never be able to NOT tell them because I'd be so devastated and they are who I go to for support. So, it's like they are going to find out if something goes wrong either way, I might as well let them know when I found out that I'm pregnant.

Obviously, this depends on your relationship but that is how I saw it, knowing how I would react based on if something happened. We waited until we were in the clear to tell everyone else and my immediate family (mom, dad, brother, and sister) were great about keeping it a secret until then. Same went for MIL, FIL, and SIL. HTH.

CONGRATS!!!!!

Re: mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

I'd tell her. Congrats!!

Re: mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

tell her!!

mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

I told my dh when ttc that we wouldn't tell anyone until 16 weeks. Well at 5 weeks I started spotting and called my mother hysterical crying and told her. Tomorrow I will be 16 weeks and the works knows already. I say tell her.

Re: mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

I would also tell her.

You don't have to tell her your were TTC and what your BD schedule was like. She's not going to look for details, she's your mom and knows you are very private.

Re: mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

I say do it!!! I do not believe that telling people early jinxes anything.
I told my dad on Father's Day and he was so excited!

Re: mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

Posted by DaniRella

Here's how I looked at it when I got my BFP:

My mom, sister, and I are very close (well, I'm close w/ my entire immediately family - dad and brother as well) but I said to myself, I'm going to tell them (just immediate) because if, GOD FORBID, something happened I would never be able to NOT tell them because I'd be so devastated and they are who I go to for support. So, it's like they are going to find out if something goes wrong either way, I might as well let them know when I found out that I'm pregnant.

Obviously, this depends on your relationship but that is how I saw it, knowing how I would react based on if something happened. We waited until we were in the clear to tell everyone else and my immediate family (mom, dad, brother, and sister) were great about keeping it a secret until then. Same went for MIL, FIL, and SIL. HTH.

CONGRATS!!!!!

mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

we told our parents after our first appointment to make sure everything was ok... we were very private as well.. noone knew we were trying so thats why we waited to make sure everything was ok at the first appointment.

Re: mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

I'd tell her!!!! What a perfect Mother's Day gift!! I told my parents on Christmas eve that I was pregnant and I was only 5 weeks! Def worth it!!! I'm so happy that I did it!

Re: mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

I'm going to come in from the other end of the opinions here .. but I would personally wait. With my first pregnancy, we announced to my family on Mothers Day. I was literally 11dpo. I thought nothing of the idea that something could happen.

Well .. 3 years later, and FINALLY I am pregnant again for mothers day (I'll be 25wks) .. but that day has been permanently tainted because the last 2 years I was NOT pregnant on Mothers Day .. and because I used a holiday to announce and then something bad happened, the last two years it made me feel so bad going to my parents to celebrate knowing that in 2010 we were celebrating in a very different way.


I'm not saying this to be a downer - just more of a realist. Things can and do happen ... and announcing news on holidays, especially this early, you run the risk of always feeling bad around this holiday if somewhere were to gd forbid happen.

Just my two cents .. I know I must seem like a board downer but I've been through so many losses so I am sure that's what taints my opinion here. Whatever you decide, good luck!

Re: mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

Posted by PennyCat

I'm going to come in from the other end of the opinions here .. but I would personally wait. With my first pregnancy, we announced to my family on Mothers Day. I was literally 11dpo. I thought nothing of the idea that something could happen.

Well .. 3 years later, and FINALLY I am pregnant again for mothers day (I'll be 25wks) .. but that day has been permanently tainted because the last 2 years I was NOT pregnant on Mothers Day .. and because I used a holiday to announce and then something bad happened, the last two years it made me feel so bad going to my parents to celebrate knowing that in 2010 we were celebrating in a very different way.


I'm not saying this to be a downer - just more of a realist. Things can and do happen ... and announcing news on holidays, especially this early, you run the risk of always feeling bad around this holiday if somewhere were to gd forbid happen.

Just my two cents .. I know I must seem like a board downer but I've been through so many losses so I am sure that's what taints my opinion here. Whatever you decide, good luck!

Re: mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

Re: mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

I would tell. I told my family on Mothers day when I was pregnanat with my dd. It made the day extra special whatever you decide good luck and congrats

Re: mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

I told my immediate family and closest friends right away and I've had previous miscarriages. They knew about the miscarriages, I needed the support. I say tell her.

mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

THis is the order I told people and the timeline:

THurs - pee on stick and run through the house screaming like it's burning down - DH and any neighbor that heard me found out.
Thursday after I was done screamign through the house - text message to my sister
Thursday after text to sis - announce on here
Thursday getting off the train to work - MY RE happened to call me so I told her
Thursday walk into work and call parents in FL - mom not home but dad was so told him, mom called 1hr later and told her

Fri - after getting my blood test results from my RE we told MIL, step FIL, SIL
Monday - Told FIL and Step MIL.

So the world new within a few short days.

I even told people at work within days and my boss at 6 weeks.

mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

It's hard not to reveal when you are spending one on one time together.

For DS 1 - I had minimal one on one time with my mom for the first 11 1/2 weeks so I was able not to tell her. We told my FIL early (he was away golfing with DH and I met them there for a vacation so he knew since he stayed with us a night before he went home).

For DS 2 - I saw my parents a lot more frequently, as well as ILs, was having some spotting and was having problems keeping up with DS 1 so we told them right away.

Re: mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

I didn't tell my mom. Not because I'm not close to her. I am very close to ehr. It's because I didn't want everyone else to know until I was 3 months.

I adore my mom but I also know her well enough to realize...

There isn't a chance she would be able to keep that secret.

Re: mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

I personally wouldn't tell. I'm close with my mom and trust her to keep a secret, but after having two chemicals I would just be very hesitant to tell that early.

But do whatever you are comfortable with. There's no right or wrong answer here.

Re: mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

I didn't tell anyone until 8 weeks. So I would wait personally.

Re: mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

I think that's a great day to let her know!! My parents were away (out of the country) when we FINALLY got a BFP, I was jumping out of my skin and had to wait like a week to tell them!! I WISH I had been able to tell them right away.
And congrats!!

Re: mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

Absolutely. Would there be a BETTER day to find out you're about to become a grandma?!

If it was me... I'd tell her -- and just ask her to keep it on the DL.

Re: mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

I don't think there's anything wrong with telling, but personally I wouldn't. I didn't tell anyone until second trimester, I just felt better that way.... but if you really want to, do it!

Re: mother's day - reveal my bfp to my mom?

Thanks for all of your feedback! I'm leaning towards spilling the beans, DH thinks we should wait but says I can do what I want. It may have to be a game time decision this weekend...