most likely stopping BFing....coping with guilt?

DD is 13 weeks and i've had a rough time BFing her. She latches great but i did not produce enough milk this time. I've tried oatmeal and fenugreek but it doesn't help. I have an active toddler too which makes it hard.
With my first DD i BF for 4 months bc i went back to work and this time i was looking forward to BFing longer because i am home for 9 months.
I just can't do it anymore but at the same time i dont want to stop. I have barely any milk and DD is "snacking" all day long and she is a terrible night sleeper and i think it is all because of my milk supply.
I feel so guilty for stopping especially since i have the time off to do it and was looking forward to be able to do it longer.
I feel like i have done it for 13 weeks and it will get better but it hasn't.
any advice on how to deal with the guilt i'm feeling? i'm delaying the inevitable by not stopping.
I think today i'm going to only FF and pump if i'm engorged at all. i barely have any milk so it should be a quick process.
I"ve been supplementing since she's 2weeks old so she is used to formula.

Message edited 8/10/2010 9:31:09 AM.

Re: most likely stopping BFing....coping with guilt?

If you really want to keep going, maybe speak to an LC to get some additional tips on how to up your supply? I also did oatmeal, fenugreek, mother's milk tea and drank tons of water. Whatever you decide, don't feel guilty. :

Re: most likely stopping BFing....coping with guilt?

You are stopping because you love your DD and want her to get enough and be full and comfortable. You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, but of course we all naturally guilt ourselves about things like that! Your baby will be absolutely fine and will thrive on formula - mine does!
I had to stop after 1 week. I had an infection at my c-section site and was on 3 types of antibiotics. I technically could have pumped and dumped for 3 weeks, but I didn't have it in me to do that, so I stopped. I felt guilty too, but I don't anymore.

Re: most likely stopping BFing....coping with guilt?

I made myself crazy over guilt when I had to start supplementing. Please don't do the same. In the end, you have a well-fed baby - who is getting nutrition - just from a different source.

Your body not producing enough milk does not equate bad mothering. You are still the loving mother that nursed your child. Nothing has changed that.

Re: most likely stopping BFing....coping with guilt?

After i had DD i contracted staph and it KILLED my milk supply, i was so excited about giving DD breastmilk and looked forward to BFing for month to come and had a gtreat supply until i got sick. I was horribly upset for weeks that i couldn't BF her, my OB said at least she got a couple week of breast milk so she got all the immunities and nutrients she needed and looking back on it, i was happy she at least got that before my supply ran out.

It sucks not being ableto BF when you want to so bad but on the bright side, she did get to have some breastmilk. 13 weeks is great!

Re: most likely stopping BFing....coping with guilt?

I second the LC suggestion. Sounds like DD is in a growth spurt, your supply is most likely fine.


Kellymom.com Growth Spurts


Ultimately, what it comes down to is a happy mama = happy baby. If you have to stop for sanity reasons, you have to stop. No need to feel guilty.

Re: most likely stopping BFing....coping with guilt?

I don't know how to get over the guilt, because I am going through something very similar to you, and I feel horrible guilt over it.

I really think if you want to continue to BF to make an appointment with a Lactation Consultant before going straight to formula. There are so many things you can do to help, and maybe if you feel like you have exhausted all options you can stop in peace, without any guilt.

Whatever you decide to do, be proud of yourself. You have done a wonderful job.

Re: most likely stopping BFing....coping with guilt?

Your the mother and only you know what is best for you and your baby, so never feel guilty over the decisions you have to make.

That being said, is there a reason why you think your milk supply is low- does your DD have any growth issues? I read in a book once that if you think you have a low supply you should try to just pump for a few days to see what you get and see if it's enough to satisfy your child. However, some women don't respond to pumps as well so this wouldn't work for them. But maybe give it a shot for a few days to see what happens?

For the snacking, maybe try holding her off with a pacifier so she knows to eat more at each feeding and can than go longer? I had to do this with my DS or else he would have been BFing every hour!

Good luck with whatever you decide!

Re: most likely stopping BFing....coping with guilt?

Please do not feel guilty- I know that is easier said than done

Good for you for making it this long. I also had a low milk supply and stopped BF after 5 weeks of pumping around the clock, eating oatmeal, fenugeek, etc. I still had to supplement the whole time since DS was not gaining enough. I also worked with a LC and tried very hard to make it work.

In the end, I felt right about my choice because of my older DS, he was being neglected and both of our lives were made much easier when I went to all formula. Also, I know that a FF baby is fine becuse my older DS is healthy, smart, and thriving

I weaned by cutting down my pumping sessions, and I took Sudafed at night. But I was in hardly any pain and was only engorged for a day, probably because I had such little milk.

Good luck to you in whatever you decide.Remember that either way, your baby will be fine