More religious humor

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way
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> to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One
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> bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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> *********************************
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> A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking
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> at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and
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> he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree
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> that has been pressed in between the pages. "Momma, look what I found," the
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> boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With
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> astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered, "It's Adam's suit!!"
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> *********************************
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> The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he
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> moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he
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> moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before
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> jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the
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> third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he
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> hurt us?"
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> *********************************
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> Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother Joel were sitting together
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> in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister
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> had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why?
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> Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church
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> and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
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> *********************************
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> My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how
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> you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how
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> are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
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> *********************************
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> A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite
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> knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by
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> asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? The virgin Mary or the King
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> James Virgin?"
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> *********************************
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> A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to
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> discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it
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> was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the
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> covers off the neighbor's wife."
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> *********************************
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> I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer.
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> For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from
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> the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she
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> carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us
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> not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail. Amen."
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> **********************************
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> A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle,
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> he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd. While facing the
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> crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step,
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> step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. As you can
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> imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he
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> reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more
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> distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he
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> reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and
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> said, "I was being the Ring Bear."
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> *******************************
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> One Sunday in a Midwest city, a young child was "acting up "during the
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> morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of
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> order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked the
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> little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before
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> reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the
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> congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"
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> *******************************
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> And one particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets
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> as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
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> *******************************
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> One student's prayer: "Now I lay me down to rest, And hope to pass
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> tomorrow's test. If I should die before I wake, That's one less test I have
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> to take."
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> *******************************
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> A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better
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> boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
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>

Re: More religious humor

These are so cute