Moms with nannies...please help if you feel comfortable answering these questions because I am going out of my mind.

My son (2 years old) will not be attending daycare anymore and so we have to get him in-home care. Without going into detail, he just does not do well in a setting with multiple children all day long, and we have exhausted all of our other options.

Besides the fact that a nanny seems to be almost twice the cost of daycare, which will break us, I am so concerned about so many other things and I was hoping you ladies could calm some of my nerves.

Specifically:

1. Call ma paranoid, but I have this fear of the nanny just taking off with my son and stealing him. I know it sounds completely crazy but I am just terrified of this.

2. Do you have a nanny cam? Did you tell your nanny you had one?

3. Do you pay by the hour and, if you have to pay significantly more if/when you had more than one child?

4. Do you let your nanny drive around with your child?

5. Did you ever feel like your child was more attached to your nanny than you since he spent so much more time with her?

6.Did you find that your child was slower with his socialization skills since he wasn't surrounded by other kids?

Thank you so much in advance!

Re: Moms with nannies...please help if you feel comfortable answering these questions because I am going out of my mind.

I dont have a nanny or a babystiiter but...

JMO


I would 100 percent have a nanny cam...and i would prob just tell the person that when hired...


I would not let anyone drive around with my child


and i would do a more than thorough background check...not just calling references, i would probably pay to have a real background check done....

you can bring your child to social groups on weekends and maybe do a part time nursery program when hes 3 or 4

Re: Moms with nannies...please help if you feel comfortable answering these questions because I am going out of my mind.

I don't have the nanny, but I would let the nanny drive, I think your child will need social interaction and library programs, etc. are great for a child who isn't around children all day.

Have you looked into a smaller in home daycare with less children?

Re: Moms with nannies...please help if you feel comfortable answering these questions because I am going out of my mind.

Re: Moms with nannies...please help if you feel comfortable answering these questions because I am going out of my mind.

Re: Moms with nannies...please help if you feel comfortable answering these questions because I am going out of my mind.

I have someone come the house two to three days per week. We have 3 children, which means for us a nanny is cheaper

1. Call ma paranoid, but I have this fear of the nanny just taking off with my son and stealing him. I know it sounds completely crazy but I am just terrified of this.

I wouldn't worry about this but I would def. ask around for referrals. This is how I got mine. She is a friend of my cousin. I tried Craigslist but I just wasn't comfortable with anyone I interviewed there. However, some people have found their nannies on this site and they are extremely happy.


2. Do you have a nanny cam? Did you tell your nanny you had one?

No. I really trust her. She is a friend of my cousin and she has been so good to my children.

3. Do you pay by the hour and, if you have to pay significantly more if/when you had more than one child?

I pay her the same amount every week. When I am off she is off...so she gets paid holidays. If we go on vacation I still pay her. She does stay late if I need her so its really give and take.

4. Do you let your nanny drive around with your child?

I did once but I am not comfortable with it. She understand and is accomodating.

5. Did you ever feel like your child was more attached to your nanny than you since he spent so much more time with her?

They get excited to see her but I feel that their love for me cannot be replaced. They know that I am their mommy and also get very excited to see me when I come home from work also.

6.Did you find that your child was slower with his socialization skills since he wasn't surrounded by other kids?

We have my 4 year old in pre-school for
socialization as well as education. I believe he is doing fine with socializing. He is a little behind in the education department but he is all born later in the year than the other kids.

Re: Moms with nannies...please help if you feel comfortable answering these questions because I am going out of my mind.

We have a nanny 3 days/week. She has been watching DD since she was 4 months old (DD is now almost 16 months).

1. Call ma paranoid, but I have this fear of the nanny just taking off with my son and stealing him. I know it sounds completely crazy but I am just terrified of this.

I also had this fear at first, but so far, so good. (I no longer fear this)

2. Do you have a nanny cam? Did you tell your nanny you had one?

No, we don't have one.

3. Do you pay by the hour and, if you have to pay significantly more if/when you had more than one child?

We pay per day. Not sure what we'll do when we have a 2nd child.

4. Do you let your nanny drive around with your child?

Our nanny does not drive, but if she did, I would let her. Just locally, though.

5. Did you ever feel like your child was more attached to your nanny than you since he spent so much more time with her?

NEVER, EVER, EVER.

6.Did you find that your child was slower with his socialization skills since he wasn't surrounded by other kids?

It's hard to say at this point, but I'm not concerned. DD has plenty of opportunities to socialize with my friends' kids and at classes, and she will to go pre-school and pre-K.

Thank you so much in advance!
No problem. Let me know if you have any other questions!

Re: Moms with nannies...please help if you feel comfortable answering these questions because I am going out of my mind.

My dd is in a home daycare and I do let her daycare provider drive her. They went to the children's museum on Fri and had so much fun. I love my provider and I have to trust her because she has my dd in her home all day. I hate to say it, but in someways my one yr old is safer in the car (NO choking hazards or a toilet to fall into...and yes of course my provider blocks those things off, but I am paranoid.

Good luck!

Re: Moms with nannies...please help if you feel comfortable answering these questions because I am going out of my mind.

1. Call ma paranoid, but I have this fear of the nanny just taking off with my son and stealing him. I know it sounds completely crazy but I am just terrified of this.

I was afraid of that before I found my nanny but then wound up with someone who "lived in" with my colleague's family for 14 years so she had a pretty strong reference.

2. Do you have a nanny cam? Did you tell your nanny you had one?

No but I seriously considered it. I also asked her if she was OK with it on the interview. But because of the reason above, I never felt like I needed to. I actually think she thought I did have one for a while so it was almost as good as having one!

3. Do you pay by the hour and, if you have to pay significantly more if/when you had more than one child?

I pay by the week. I'm not sure how much more it would be when I have another.

4. Do you let your nanny drive around with your child?

No but I live in the city so it's not necessary right now. She can drive but she said she wasn't comfortable with it herself so I doubt she'll ever drive with him.

5. Did you ever feel like your child was more attached to your nanny than you since he spent so much more time with her?

NEVER. I was SO worried about this and while he definitely loves her, he still is ALL about mommy and daddy when we come in or are leaving.

6.Did you find that your child was slower with his socialization skills since he wasn't surrounded by other kids?

DS has actually had pretty bad stranger anxiety since 5 mos and it's only recently getting a teeny bit better. I do feel like it was from not being around other kids but who really knows if he would have been like that anyway? He started going to Gymboree once a week at 6 months and now he goes every day for at least an hour. He also goes to the park everyday and to library programs to make sure he's exposed to other kids.

ETA: Good luck!

Message edited 10/19/2008 8:21:57 PM.

Re: Moms with nannies...please help if you feel comfortable answering these questions because I am going out of my mind.

I have a nanny for my 2 year old. She's never been in daycare.

1. Call ma paranoid, but I have this fear of the nanny just taking off with my son and stealing him. I know it sounds completely crazy but I am just terrified of this.

Not crazy at all. The thought has crossed my mind in the beginning and every so often I think - omg this woman can jsut take my daughter but did I seriously ever think she would? No. I called multiple references for her and bonded with one of her references who I really did trust.

2. Do you have a nanny cam? Did you tell your nanny you had one?

Yes I have one and no, she does not know. I don't care what people say about it - yes, I trust my nanny but I still think it's important to have one.

3. Do you pay by the hour and, if you have to pay significantly more if/when you had more than one child?

I pay her a weekly salary. She also gets about 2 weeks vacation per year (she gets off when I go away) and she gets paid for the major holidays as well.

4. Do you let your nanny drive around with your child?

She does not drive.

5. Did you ever feel like your child was more attached to your nanny than you since he spent so much more time with her?

Nope, I know DD loves her nanny but when I come home from work, she always wants me. And I actually love when DD runs over to her nanny sometimes instead of me because it shows how much she loves her.


6.Did you find that your child was slower with his socialization skills since he wasn't surrounded by other kids?

DD is very social but that's just her nature. I do have our nanny take her to the library and gym class once a week (within walking distance) and she has recently made friends with another local nanny and they have playdates a few times during the week. She is also in a little nursery school program two days a week (when I work from home so I can drive her).

Feel free to FM with ANY questions!!

Re: Moms with nannies...please help if you feel comfortable answering these questions because I am going out of my mind.

Thanks for the responses so far. I guess if I got a nanny cam, I'd feel bad about not telling her, but I'd feel stupid if she then found out. Where do you even get one of these things?

Re: Moms with nannies...please help if you feel comfortable answering these questions because I am going out of my mind.