Toddler moms..question..

I am having a big problem with Megan. I am not embarrassed to admit shes a bit spoiled, but not by me by any means. Shes the only child in the family and EVERYTHING centers around her all the time. My mom and sister are here a lot and adore her but Megan knows this and plays on it big time. Well this has led to her screaming whenever she wants something.

Last night we were at Ruby Tuesdays in PA and she wanted my moms lemonade. I told her if she ate her dinner, she could have a sip. Well this led to her SCREAMING, I want some, I want some!!! So my mom handed me her glass so she could have a sip but I wanted to reprimand her first for yelling. She did it a second time when she wanted her milk. But no matter how much I whisper in her ear and tell her the right way to ask for it, she still screams. She wants INSTANT gratification and if she doesnt get it, she screams. I cant take it anymore. When she does this at home, its easier to handle. But out in public, its very hard.

Is anyone going through this? Been there? Have any tips on how to handle it? I always tell her to use her inside voice, her whisper voice, to say "can i have some milk please" in a little voice and at home it works but as soon as other people are around, she grows a second head. The screaming makes me so nervous and stressed. Advice please!!

Re: Toddler moms..question..

Well, we have similar issues, and it's really a control thing at this point, Noreen, not a spoiled thing. It's the age. But you HAVE to be consistent whether you're home, in the car, in a restaurant, etc. or else it will continue. We're at a point now where if Ava even tries to pull this crap, I give her a look and she instantly apologizes and asks the right way. I'd say a good 90% of the time, all I have to do is give her a look, but it took A LOT of hard work and time outs and reinforcing the proper behavior to get her here.
I've really had to put my foot down with my family, too because they indulge her way too much. They have FINALLY seen that they are doing more harm than good by giving her whatever she wants, so they're on board now. You need to get your family on board, too.
So, definitely don't give Megan what she wants if she screams. If other people have a problem with her screaming, it's not your issue, you're trying to teach your child a lesson. The more uncomfortable you are, the harder it will be. Just accept that her fits are going to happen until she learns. There's nothing else you can do but accept that or else you'll keep giving in to her.

Re: Toddler moms..question..

Mikayla has been going through this "stage" for a few weeks now...she screams, whines, cries ALL DAY LONG

It is VERY tiring and all she wants is ME....she will not go to DH.

Re: Toddler moms..question..

When my DD used to do this I would warn her that I'd take her outside while everyone else stayed and finished. If she did itr again, I would take her outside and explain to her why she couldn't behave like that. When we went back in, she'd be fine. After 2 or 3 times she never did it again.

In your situation I don't think it helped that your Mom handed you her glass. Does she back you up and tell DD to listen to you? That could be making things worse.

I had a BIG problem with my mother doing things even though I had told my DDs no. She started responding, "You have to listen to yourr mother," whenever they would run to her after I said no. It helped out a lot.

Re: Toddler moms..question..

I am and have always been a firm believe in perfect manners in a restaurant. Dee loves to eat in restaurants so when she miss behaves I remove her from the restaurant, sucked for me that the time but we have not had problems with her in a restaurant in years.

When Megan starts that I would say to her, Megan you are in a restaurant you may not scream. If you scream again you will be leaving and not get any lemonade. Please ask for what you want. When she screams again, don't say anything just pick her up and take her outside- lobby, car or parking lot and tell her that you can not go back in until she can speak nicely and use words without screaming. She will probably freak out and she will learn that she can not behave that way.

I agree with Rach I think it's an age thing.

Re: Toddler moms..question..

I have been known to remove my children from restaurants when they misbehave. I pack them up while DH pays the bill and gets our food "to go".

Re: Toddler moms..question..

We are starting to deal with this and are employing a different tactic in addition to a little time out.

If he wants something, we wait a little bit and tell him he can get 2 instead of 1 if he waits (usually food). If he doesn't want to wait he gets one and only one. Right now he understands the 1 vs 2 concept so it works. If he throws a fit, he gets none with a 1 minute time out for poor behavior. Then we start from the beginning if he still wants whatever it is. Sometimes he just doesn't care enough to pursue the topic.

It was tough at first so we only did that at home so any fits would not be in public. I think he's starting to get it a little.

Re: Toddler moms..question..

wow- i could have written this myself... i go through the same thing with DD sometimes.. grocery shopping is the worst.. except it has gotten better.. when she was between 2 and 4 was when it was the worst.. i pretty much gave in to whatever she wanted if we were out in public because the embarrassment was much worse to me personally... she is 5 now and it is a lot better- but still happens once in a while. anyway, i dont really have any advice, but i wanted to give you some hugs and let you know that you are not alone.

Re: Toddler moms..question..

Posted by Mikismom

Mikayla has been going through this "stage" for a few weeks now...she screams, whines, cries ALL DAY LONG

It is VERY tiring and all she wants is ME....she will not go to DH.

Re: Toddler moms..question..

Posted by Jamie

I am and have always been a firm believe in perfect manners in a restaurant. Dee loves to eat in restaurants so when she miss behaves I remove her from the restaurant, sucked for me that the time but we have not had problems with her in a restaurant in years.

When Megan starts that I would say to her, Megan you are in a restaurant you may not scream. If you scream again you will be leaving and not get any lemonade. Please ask for what you want. When she screams again, don't say anything just pick her up and take her outside- lobby, car or parking lot and tell her that you can not go back in until she can speak nicely and use words without screaming. She will probably freak out and she will learn that she can not behave that way.

I agree with Rach I think it's an age thing.