MIL's comment

I know she doesn't know so she couldn't possibly know this would hurt me but today I chatted on the phone with her for about 45 minutes.

We were discussing that DH just lost his job and were confident he would find another in time.

She said, that at least we didn't have any kids and we are not responsible for supporting anyone else.

It struck me hard. I don't know if I have a right to feel this way. Dh has not confided in her or the rest of his family as I have with my family.

I guess she feels by now if we hadn't had any, we're not going to. Maybe she was even saying that to see if I would respond which I doubt.

That just hurt. We're not going to stop this process. Time is too precious..DH will find a job if not in his chosen field..doing something.

If we had a kid we would still work it out.

Message edited 11/1/2009 7:15:19 PM.

Re: MIL's comment

So Sorry you had to hear that. I'm sure she didn't mean it in a cruel way or to hurt you.
If you are really hurt maybe you could have DH talk to her, and let her know that its a sensitive subject.

Re: MIL's comment

ITA. She probably would never have said that if she knew you guys were TTC. Sometimes I bite my tongue with MIL/FIL comments. Sometimes I tell DH so he can gently tell them what bothered me. If you really can't let it go or worry she will say more of the same, it may be time for DH to let her know you are TTC. good luck!

Re: MIL's comment

I'm sorry
I am sure she didn't mean anything by it...prob. just trying to make you feel better, not knowing that it would have the opposite effect!
Before my MIL knew, she made all kinds of comments that sent me to tears. It is so hard when people don't know and for you, it is practically all you think about!

Hang in there and good luck to your DH with his job hunt!

Re: MIL's comment

Thanks all. When I told DH he agreed with her. Thank God we don't have kids.

he said it.

Great...I feel like I'm alone in this.

I know he's hurting from losing his job and that will take a while for him to feel confident again. I'm sensitive to that.

Re: MIL's comment

Well, in my brief run in with her, I would think she thought she was saying the right thing. Even though it was the wrong thing. Ignore it!!! Put it out of your mind!!! Well, and its true at this exact moment in time you don't have any children, doesn't mean that isn't going to change in 10 months from now. So, in a weird way maybe the timing is good. Rather he lose his job now then in a year from now.

Just you concentrate on not letting anyone get to you during your next 4 weeks. These weeks are just for you and getting ready for what will happen. Listen to soft yoga music (if you can). Just laugh it off and prove her wrong!!!!