You must first be logged in to edit a post.
If you are not registered, please click "Create Account".
| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: [1] 2 |
PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
|
MIL responses
I was just wondering...we all talk about our issues with our MIL BUT what do you think our MIL think of us? Why do they have that protective seal over their sons? The issue of MIL + DIL has always been an issue. what do you think causes it?
My response in my situation is that DH is not as assertive as myself so when things need to get done or questions need to be answered, it is by mme whether it is good or bad.
|
Posted 1/12/06 12:52 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
|
Re: MIL responses
i think, in my case, its b/c she only has sons, and no daughters so she wants this to be her daughters wedding.
fh will stand up to her when he needs to, but i know that she is only trying to see that he is happy
|
| Posted 1/12/06 12:54 PM |
| |
|
Boobobunny
Live in the Present
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
Name:
Dannielle
|
Re: MIL responses
I think ..at least in my situation that I tend to want to do things more like the way my mother did them...so I clash with MIL.
She doesn't mean any harm...but she seems to be in the way alot...but I think that is just because I do things very differently than her.
|
| Posted 1/12/06 12:56 PM |
| |
|
05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
|
Re: MIL responses
She wants to be overly involved....and advise me what to do, and I already have a mother...who Im close with!
My DH dosent give her the time of day...
Message edited 2/21/2006 8:51:33 PM.
|
| Posted 1/12/06 12:56 PM |
| |
|
MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
|
Re: MIL responses
i wish everyone DIDN'T have the MIL issues that they did. 
I never even got to meet my MIL. she was battling colon cancer for a few months before dh and I got together, and passed away one month into our relationship. 
Dh, my SIL, and everyone in his family said that we (my MIL and I) would have gotten along great, and would have loved each other very much. it's very unfortunate that many girls have issues with their MIL's, b/c I'm sure that alot of DH's would only suffer should they experience losing their mom. I saw first hand how much my DH suffered in pain when he lost his mom. it's just sad when i think about it.
|
| Posted 1/12/06 12:57 PM |
| |
|
FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
|
Re: MIL responses
Posted by MrsERod
i wish everyone DIDN'T have the MIL issues that they did.
I never even got to meet my MIL. she was battling colon cancer for a few months before dh and I got together, and passed away one month into our relationship.
Dh, my SIL, and everyone in his family said that we (my MIL and I) would have gotten along great, and would have loved each other very much. it's very unfortunate that many girls have issues with their MIL's, b/c I'm sure that alot of DH's would only suffer should they experience losing their mom. I saw first hand how much my DH suffered in pain when he lost his mom. it's just sad when i think about it.
I agree with everything you said Chris..
And lots of these  for Honey (and you too!)
I often cannot even reply to the "MIL" threads here... because I admit that FORTUNATELY for me, I cannot relate to them. I have a wonderful MIL, she is truly a gem, and I adore her .. She treats me as a daughter and a friend
I truly wish sometimes I could "clone" my MIL or have have her teach classes to all the other MILs out there on how to communicate and interact better with their DILs, because there would be far less problems out there overall!
I am sorry for those of you who have inlaw issues, truly, I feel for you
Message edited 1/12/2006 1:02:06 PM.
|
| Posted 1/12/06 1:01 PM |
| |
|
PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
|
Re: MIL responses
Posted by MrsERod
i wish everyone DIDN'T have the MIL issues that they did.
I never even got to meet my MIL. she was battling colon cancer for a few months before dh and I got together, and passed away one month into our relationship.
Dh, my SIL, and everyone in his family said that we (my MIL and I) would have gotten along great, and would have loved each other very much. it's very unfortunate that many girls have issues with their MIL's, b/c I'm sure that alot of DH's would only suffer should they experience losing their mom. I saw first hand how much my DH suffered in pain when he lost his mom. it's just sad when i think about it.
Sorry to hear about your DH family loss. I think what brings me and my MIL closer is actually when my father passed and she was able to be there for me and Vice versa (her sisters sick). I dont hate my inlaws but I think my DH puts me in the "announcer" position and they look to me for the answers and not always do I have the answers they want to ear.
|
| Posted 1/12/06 1:02 PM |
| |
|
CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
|
Re: MIL responses
I'm very lucky because I adore my inlaws. They are so loving and caring, everyone should have people like them in their lives. As for how they feel about me, they tell me all the time what a blessing I am.
|
| Posted 1/12/06 1:02 PM |
| |
|
suvenR
designer mutt
Member since 5/05 4239 total posts
Name:
|
Re: MIL responses
My MIL wants to be queen. She has often said that as the oldest female, her needs and wants should be considered first.
|
| Posted 1/12/06 1:04 PM |
| |
|
Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
|
Re: MIL responses
I feel bad for my MIL. She got married and pregnant at 14, my FIL was a cheat with a drinking problem. She had her 3 kids and worked 2 jobs trying to keep everything afloat.
When I came along, I guess she envisioned a Puerto Rican girl, but got me.
Things went from bad to worse when we got engaged and had a wedding. She wants to be in a marriage like mine. I think she hates that I have her son, she would have loved if her son married spanish, and we all lived together. She thinks I am wacky for not having kids yet. She thought it was dumb for me to go to school even though I am an admin assist who will be a SAHM. It is a crazy jealousy, and I recognize that. But things got even crazier, and unfortunately now we don't speak. It is his mother, so I don't go into specifics. My mother is driven crazy by this and wants me to try, but out of respect for Leo, I never speak badly of his mom to my family.
|
| Posted 1/12/06 1:10 PM |
| |
|
JustMarried
LIF Infant
Member since 5/05 170 total posts
Name:
|
Re: MIL responses
Posted by suvenR
My MIL wants to be queen. She has often said that as the oldest female, her needs and wants should be considered first.
Do we have the same MIL 
|
| Posted 1/12/06 1:12 PM |
| |
|
DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
|
Re: MIL responses
I have a great relationship with my MIL. She has been helping us out quite a bit with the new house. And she has told my wife over and over how much she loves me.
In a way her personality is the total opposite of my mom... not to take anything away from my mom... she is great too.
But this is a great situation for me because now I get the best of both worlds.
|
| Posted 1/12/06 1:16 PM |
| |
|
Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
|
Re: MIL responses
I get along with my MIL- then again, she lives in another country and I only have to see her once a year- so that may have something to do with it
But we have very similar interests and personalities- she and I are both very friendly and outgoing. I actually spent a week with her family without DH and it was really very wonderful.
She is also very easy going and has 3 daughters, so I think that may be another reason we get along. Its not like I am the "daughter she never had." She is also very modern!!
Her youngest daughter is 17 and she is starting to focus on herself more- since she raised 4 children over 30 years. So that also helps, she is not so into micromanaging her kid's lives.
I think it also helps that I have always been respectful of her culture and family - in fact, while I was there I wanted to visit her sister and DH's paternal GM (only grandparent alive) and hear stories about her family. In fact, I know more about their family history than DH or his sisters She has also opened up a lot to me about her marriage and her relationships with her siblings, all 10 of them 
I definitely recognize how lucky I am. I am curious to see what she will be like when we have the baby. Will she be a total hands on grandma or will she say, awww how cute, and pass her along. I hope things will stay as good when we have the baby!!!
Message edited 1/12/2006 1:19:52 PM.
|
| Posted 1/12/06 1:18 PM |
| |
|
nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: MIL responses
I get along well with my MIL, though we end up seeing his family a lot because they have more celebrations. I wish the time we spent with our families was more equal, because my mother hadn't seen DH in about 5 months when we spent xmas with her, and she lives 2 mins away from his parents. His is just a much larger family, and from dog birthdays to anniversaries, we end up spending a lot more time with them then with my family. DH is the oldest.
But she's told me she feels lucky that he married me. I think he's become more focused with me, and when I am over I try to help out in every way, with cooking and cleaning. This weekend we're making dinner for his entire family to celebrate her bday. Sometimes I feel like she encourages his bad habits, but maybe she feels like she is just supporting him. Like if he says there is a poker tournament with a $200 entry fee, but you could win a million, she'll say, ohh, you have to enter! Ummm what are the chances of willing the million....
|
| Posted 1/12/06 1:21 PM |
| |
|
FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
|
Re: MIL responses
Posted by DjPiLL
I have a great relationship with my MIL. She has been helping us out quite a bit with the new house. And she has told my wife over and over how much she loves me.
In a way her personality is the total opposite of my mom... not to take anything away from my mom... she is great too.
But this is a great situation for me because now I get the best of both worlds.
Aww Pill.. how nice!! You are the perfect son in law!! Who knew?? 
 J/K 
Its actually so refreshing and great to see a perspective from a son in law and the fact you really love and respect both your Mom AND your MIL so much 
Message edited 1/12/2006 1:26:56 PM.
|
| Posted 1/12/06 1:26 PM |
| |
|
PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
|
Re: MIL responses
|
| Posted 1/12/06 1:52 PM |
| |
|
PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
|
Re: MIL responses
wow...what the heck is that??? It looks like they meshed my posting, djpills and felicias...whats up with that?
|
| Posted 1/12/06 1:54 PM |
| |
|
PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
|
Re: MIL responses
this is the only thing I wrote...
Thats really interesting! I could be wrong but I dont always see Son In laws arguing with In laws. Its they either like them or dislike them. Words are not usually done. I think men sometimes have a balance on their relationships and know when to fight their battles. Sometimes I think women let emotions take a higher role and the issue becomes stronger.
|
| Posted 1/12/06 1:56 PM |
| |
|
suvenR
designer mutt
Member since 5/05 4239 total posts
Name:
|
Re: MIL responses
Posted by PrincessP
wow...what the heck is that??? It looks like they meshed my posting, djpills and felicias...whats up with that?
You hit quote instead of reply?
|
| Posted 1/12/06 2:11 PM |
| |
|
PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
|
Re: MIL responses
Oh your right! thanks. Ive never seen that before.
|
| Posted 1/12/06 2:13 PM |
| |
|
DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
|
Re: MIL responses
Posted by PrincessP
this is the only thing I wrote...
Thats really interesting! I could be wrong but I dont always see Son In laws arguing with In laws.
Maybe because us Men don't sweat the petty stuff?
|
| Posted 1/12/06 2:28 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: MIL responses
Posted by DjPiLL
Posted by PrincessP
this is the only thing I wrote...
Thats really interesting! I could be wrong but I dont always see Son In laws arguing with In laws.
Maybe because us Men don't sweat the petty stuff?
My dad and my mom's grandparents (mom was orphaned) did not see eye to eye at all. They loathed each other for a long time. My father really had to prove himself to them.
MIL treats me like one of her own. She is a lovely woman and I consider myself very fortunate, especially when I read about all the serious challenges some women have with their MILs.
|
| Posted 1/12/06 2:32 PM |
| |
|
Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
|
Re: MIL responses
Posted by DjPiLL
Maybe because us Men don't sweat the petty stuff?
Oooohhh... those are fighting words
ETA: I think the relationship between mothers and daughters are different than the relationship between mothers and sons. I think mothers of daughters want to see their daughters in good, healthy relationships with men.
I think SOME mothers of sons see a man's wife as a substitute for the mom. That may be where the troubles begin...
Message edited 1/12/2006 2:38:34 PM.
|
| Posted 1/12/06 2:36 PM |
| |
|
DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
|
Re: MIL responses
Posted by Shellyesq
I think SOME mothers of sons see a man's wife as a substitute for the mom. That may be where the troubles begin...
I dont buy into that theory.
Case & Point..... there is a member of my wife's "side" that more or less I can't really stand. This person has not only aggrevated my wife on MANY occasions... but also aggrevates me.
I so want to tell this person off... but again... I dont sweat the petty things (even though this really isn't petty). Its just not worth the aggrevation.
So i leave it alone... where some people may not be able to control themselves and will start a war.
|
| Posted 1/12/06 2:45 PM |
| |
|
Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
|
Re: MIL responses
Posted by DjPiLL
Posted by Shellyesq
I think SOME mothers of sons see a man's wife as a substitute for the mom. That may be where the troubles begin...
I dont buy into that theory.
Case & Point..... there is a member of my wife's "side" that more or less I can't really stand. This person has not only aggrevated my wife on MANY occasions... but also aggrevates me.
I so want to tell this person off... but again... I dont sweat the petty things (even though this really isn't petty). Its just not worth the aggrevation.
So i leave it alone... where some people may not be able to control themselves and will start a war.
So following your logic, then most women do sweat the "petty" things and make issues of them, hence straining the DW/MIL relationship.
I don't think that is necessarily true. Sometimes yes, but I wouldn't generalize. There are plenty of women out there who let things roll of their backs and still have conflicts.
|
| Posted 1/12/06 2:51 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: [1] 2 |
