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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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let's talk bullies/agressive kids and those they get bullied
I woefully admit that I am the mom of an agressive child.  I just finished reading a long debate on Baby Center on this topic, and wanted to bring it up here amongst friends (well, my virtual ones.) I just thought maybe we could share our experiences with our children being the bully and the one being bullied, because I'm sure we've all been on one side of the fence or th other. And please point out some tactics that worked/didn't work for you.
My situation with DS is he's become a face grabber/scratcher. It's a recent thing, but he's gotten a few children in the past couple of weeks, and there seems to be some kids he'll target. I will always make him appologize and try to remove him from the situation. We left Mc D's (some may remember that from last week) and we've sat outside of gym class for timeouts. He doesn't do this at home (he's a lover and a kisser), but mostly when we're out and about. I have seen him do it over tpys (which doesn't make it acceptable, but at least there's some reason in his mind) but I have also seen him do it for apparently no reason. I don't want to keep him at home, as I don't believe that will help things at all, but I feel terrible when he hurts other kids. And honestly, it's ebarassing. 
Anyone else want to share their experience?
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Posted 10/7/08 11:25 PM  |
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stickydust
Now a mommy of 2!!!
Member since 4/06 3164 total posts
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Re: let's talk bullies/agressive kids and those they get bullied
i have the opposite problem. I worry that DD is too passive. Other kids will take toys from her and she does not care. When she and another kid are going for the same toy she'll back off. Its funny because she is such a firecracker otherwise. I worry for when she gets older.
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| Posted 10/8/08 12:04 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
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Re: let's talk bullies/agressive kids and those they get bullied
I am going to give you the most honest answer I can. I know that kids will be kids but it upsets me to no end when I am somewhere and my dd is passive and a child goes up to her andkicks her, scratches her face or bites her. I am not in the situation where my child is the agressor so I dont have much advice but I really do get upset and even with the appology from the parent I still get ticked. Now my dd is crying and has marks on her and in alot of the scenarios that Ive been in the parent of the agressive child is far from the child. Not to say this is you but alot are. My best advice is while he is going through this stage, stay close. Be sure that you can catch it right away before the other child is hurt.
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| Posted 10/8/08 7:59 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14007 total posts
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Re: let's talk bullies/agressive kids and those they get bullied
Posted by PrincessP
I am going to give you the most honest answer I can. I know that kids will be kids but it upsets me to no end when I am somewhere and my dd is passive and a child goes up to her andkicks her, scratches her face or bites her. I am not in the situation where my child is the agressor so I dont have much advice but I really do get upset and even with the appology from the parent I still get ticked. Now my dd is crying and has marks on her and in alot of the scenarios that Ive been in the parent of the agressive child is far from the child. Not to say this is you but alot are. My best advice is while he is going through this stage, stay close. Be sure that you can catch it right away before the other child is hurt.
I agree. I have actually stopped getting in the middle of little power plays to allow dd to build up some confidence to assert herself.
At you ds age, I think it's a stage. I would just keep an eye on him and try to keep him from situations where he is more likely to act out. I also wouldn't allow him to bring his toys to playgrounds and such. If that is one of the reasons that he acts out, take the catalyst away. You can also try to redirect him and show him other ways to handle the situation.
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| Posted 10/8/08 8:10 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: let's talk bullies/agressive kids and those they get bullied
I have always been hands off with Luca allowing him to play on his own, and up until recently there was never an issue. Now I find that I hawk him at gym class and other social situations to try to avoid/stop him from scratching anyone. I obviously will continue doing that, as I know I wouldn't like DS getting scratched/kicked/etc... for no reason.
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| Posted 10/8/08 9:25 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: let's talk bullies/agressive kids and those they get bullied
See and like you even said ...its just a stage so honestly its probably so temporary. I cant even tell you the changes I see in children that are 1 yr older then our kids. I mean I stayed far, far away from elmo live bc dd will not sit. Next yr will be a huge difference. Things will change just give it some time.
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| Posted 10/8/08 9:43 AM |
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