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Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!

Member since 3/06

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Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

these vests are on my wish list this year
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Posted 11/30/07 4:04 PM
 
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!

Member since 3/06

32345 total posts

Name:

Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

the Star Trek action figure is appropriate

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Posted 11/30/07 4:06 PM
 

SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!

Member since 3/06

32345 total posts

Name:

Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

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Message edited 11/30/2007 4:09:42 PM.

Posted 11/30/07 4:08 PM
 

SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!

Member since 3/06

32345 total posts

Name:

Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

External Image

Posted 11/30/07 4:10 PM
 

SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!

Member since 3/06

32345 total posts

Name:

Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

External Image

Posted 11/30/07 4:11 PM
 

Stacey1403
Where it all began....

Member since 5/05

24065 total posts

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Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

Posted by SweetestOfPeas

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AWww the Geico Cavemen celebrate ChristmasChat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 11/30/07 4:18 PM
 

Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!

Member since 5/05

22334 total posts

Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids

Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

Posted by Blazesyth

Posted by SweetestOfPeas

This is much better than the yellow frog. Chat Icon



does anyone else see what I am seeing in this post/??

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Message edited 11/30/2007 4:24:54 PM.

Posted 11/30/07 4:18 PM
 

Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!

Member since 5/05

22334 total posts

Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids

Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

I am so glad I saw this thread....

I have found my new Christmas Decorations

my christmas outfit

many of my Christmas gifts

and even my Christmas boyfriend!

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Posted 11/30/07 4:20 PM
 

SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!

Member since 3/06

32345 total posts

Name:

Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

Posted by Lisa

Posted by Blazesyth

Posted by SweetestOfPeas




This is much better than the yellow frog. Chat Icon



does anyone else see what I am seeing in this post/??

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Chat Icon OMG!!!!!!!! I DID NOT POST THAT!!!!!!!! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Message edited 11/30/2007 4:24:08 PM.

Posted 11/30/07 4:20 PM
 

Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!

Member since 5/05

22334 total posts

Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids

Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 11/30/07 4:21 PM
 

SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!

Member since 3/06

32345 total posts

Name:

Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

Chat Icon I don't want to get banned Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

I swear I did not post that Chat Icon

Posted 11/30/07 4:23 PM
 

Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!

Member since 5/05

22334 total posts

Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids

Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

I deleted the pic from my post....do it in your other post....

Posted 11/30/07 4:25 PM
 

SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!

Member since 3/06

32345 total posts

Name:

Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

Posted by Lisa

I deleted the pic from my post....do it in your other post....

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Posted 11/30/07 4:26 PM
 

SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!

Member since 3/06

32345 total posts

Name:

Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

how about a car rooftop menorah Chat Icon

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Posted 11/30/07 4:28 PM
 

BabyAvocado
Happy New Year

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Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

Posted by SweetestOfPeas

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OMG Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 11/30/07 4:30 PM
 

SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!

Member since 3/06

32345 total posts

Name:

Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

the cocktail lovers menorah Chat Icon

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Posted 11/30/07 4:30 PM
 

julz33
i run for bacon

Member since 5/05

20584 total posts

Name:
julz

Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

Posted by neenie

I'll start with These stockings...
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I love these Chat Icon

Posted 11/30/07 6:44 PM
 

BaroqueMama
Chase is one!

Member since 5/05

27530 total posts

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me

Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

OMG! This was the best Christmas thread everChat Icon

Posted 11/30/07 7:03 PM
 

neenie

Member since 5/05

22351 total posts

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Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....


there's no place like home for the holidays...

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Posted 11/30/07 8:20 PM
 

SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!

Member since 3/06

32345 total posts

Name:

Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

Posted by neenie


there's no place like home for the holidays...

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Posted 11/30/07 9:09 PM
 

june262004
But I love the Snow!

Member since 5/05

15379 total posts

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Kristin

Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

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Posted 11/30/07 9:26 PM
 

Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!

Member since 5/05

22334 total posts

Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids

Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

Posted by june262004

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that is the TACKIEST thing you could have posted!!

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Posted 11/30/07 9:33 PM
 

JennasMom
?**?

Member since 11/05

3463 total posts

Name:
does it matter

Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

I'll serve dinner

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Posted 11/30/07 9:34 PM
 

june262004
But I love the Snow!

Member since 5/05

15379 total posts

Name:
Kristin

Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

Posted by Lisa

Posted by june262004

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that is the TACKIEST thing you could have posted!!

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You know I had too...
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Posted 11/30/07 9:37 PM
 

MissJones
I need a nap!

Member since 5/05

22132 total posts

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Re: Let's plan a TACKY christmas.....

Posted by MrsPornStar



Lights
What home could be without Christmas lights? That would be like a movie without popcorn! A car without wheels! A computer without a monitor! A cell phone without service! A table without legs! A plane without wings! A house without Christmas lights! (wait...what was I talking about?)

Net lights
Net lights became a hit about 3 years ago. The simplicity of these illuminated bush-covers are appealing to the lazy holiday lighters. No longer does one need to toil for hours untangling and placing lights inch by inch. Now, with modern (sometimes faulty and fire-starting) technology, all that is required is a simple toss and a plug and you and your family can enjoy hours of semi-evenly distributed holiday lights.

Remember, if you don't spread the web lights the proper way, it is very easy to accidentally have them look decent, so be sure to follow these pointers:

Make them look square

The number one rule to remember about net lights is that you have to make them look square. This is easily done by making sure that the tree or bush that you are placing them on is not big enough to be fully surrounded, and that the corners of the lights are easily visible from a distance.

IMAGE

Notice the corner

Have seams

This is pretty easy to do; just make sure that when you have two or more conjoining nets over one bush/tree, you have a small noticible strip of darkness running down between them.

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Also a good example of the worn colored lights effect.

This is not a very good example of light seams, but you can get the idea. This is one of the easiest ways to turn lights into tacky lights.

Go for something big

For those of you who like a challenge, may I recommend that you look at the following Christmas concoction. This is the first time I have ever experienced this beautiful technique, and I am humbled by it's greatness.

IMAGE

The hanging net light!


I would like to take this time to thank the engineer of this nativity scene for his bravery and commitment to the Christmas season. I challenge everyone to try to do better than this example. You've raised the bar for all of us buddy.

I would not recommend that anyone who enjoys fully functioning spinal cords attempt to replicate this decoration. Remember though, some things come before personal health.

Strand lights
Although less extravagant than net lights, strand lights are a good cheap substitute.

Use Very Little

Some people just don't realize the efficiency of using very few lights: they take seconds to set up, cost very little, and don't have to be untangled. When you can skate by with two or three strands, why go for anything more? When using very few lights, it is important that you make them go a long way.

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Two strands of lights: $15, amount of effort 8 minutes, Christmas done right: priceless.


Wrap Trees

Wrapping trees is the most time-consuming way to hang lights. It is best done by only giving a general idea of where the tree is, and not bothering to give the finer details. This does not mean that you should not wrap the trunk fully, though. Because the trunk is the easiest part to wrap, make sure that it is completely covered. After that, just sling the lights around the outermost branches to get the best effect.

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This tree is too well defined; it's obvious that a significant amount of time and meticulous effort went into it. This is not what we are looking for


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This is much better. May I also point out the small strand of colored lights going up the center. Very nice.


Mixed colors


Often times it's easier to buy different colored strands of lights rather than the same color. If a box of 100 yellow lights is on sale, buy it! You can add it to your collection back home!

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Wait! Blue isn't a Christmas color! Blasphemy!

Make Them Blink Out of Sequence

This is an almost accidental art form. See, most strands of lights come with these extra bulbs that are not really extra bulbs, but most people think they are. They're really blinking bulbs.

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Behold, the blinking bulb! (notice the red tip).

Snap one of these babies in on the first socket in the strand and your whole strand will be blinking. Even better, put it in the middle so that only half the strand blinks. This can be done anywhere, is extremely attractive, and is easy to do!

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Sorry for the slightly seizure inducing animation. See if you can spot the blinking strand.

Lawn Figurines

Of course, lights don't really explain the holiday. How much of a story can you get out of 100 watts? This is why lawn figurines were invented.

Plastic Figures
These petite plastic people are perfect for populating your...front yard (damn!). If you plan to buy some of these ornaments, make sure to get some used ones that have burn marks from where the light bulbs got too close to the plastic. A blowtorch can quickly create this effect if your local flea market is out of used ones. They come in a large variety of characters: from Santa and Frosty to Jesus and Rudolf (actually, I think that's all they make). The most important of these, of course, is Santa. Unfortunately, I was only able to capture two of the varieties.

Santa

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The Nativity Scene

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What always bothered me about nativity scenes is that you're not supposed to put the baby Jesus in until December 25th. This would make sense, but did they really just stand around and wait for a baby to appear? I have a feeling that it was a little different.



Here frosty is seen casting his candy cane to heavens as a sacrifice to the sugar gods. Frosty is an interesting name. I would love to live in a world where people where named with adjectives that described them. My name would be Tallie.

Examples

Here I have reviewed several bad examples of Christmas decorations (people in my neighborhood just don't get it).

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This festive house is slipping into the un-tacky genre. The saving factor would have to be the red bulb things hanging from the lower end of the roof, and the surprisingly religious cross hung haphazardly on the chimney. They had better take the cross off by Christmas, though, because Santa will have quite a time working around it.
Grade: D-

IMAGE

This house is an excellent example of the different colored light technique. It looks as though their meager collection of lights was made from the bottom of the rack at Wal-Mart several years in a row. Also notice the oddly shaped figures in the background; they look like a hooded peasant mother and daughter picking up the scraps of seeds from the already harvested fields.
Grade: C

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I absolutely love the Candy canes on their walkway, but the uniformity ruins the effect.
Grade: E

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If you can't make it out in this picture, this is a walk through wreath. This seven foot circle of light was probably meant for a high wall, but the person behind this decoration had different plans
Grade: B+ (for ingenuity)

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Alas! The perfect house. The owner of this house decided that he should go big, or go home (er...away). There are approximately 32 strands of super-density lights on the house. In the front yard are seven, count them seven different inflatable figures; this house sounded like a wind tunnel. Finally, somebody gets it, I dare you to try to compete with this house next year.
Grade: A++

Conclusion

Well, there you have it, the ultimate guide to Christmas decorations. I hope that you use this guide in the future to create the ultimate house. See you next year! (If you have any pictures of your own of tacky houses, please send them in).




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And for the record, rope lights...ugh!

Message edited 11/30/2007 10:02:31 PM.

Posted 11/30/07 9:57 PM
 
Pages: << 8 9 10 [11] 12 13 14 >>
 

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