Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

First please no flames and sorry for the long post. I have a 10 year old cocker spaniel named Rocky we rescued from a shelter 7 years ago. He is my baby and I love him to pieces but he can get aggresive..mainly with DH. I know most of it is our fault for not properly training him but today was DH's last straw.

Rocky peed in the kitchen and DH saw it and went to reprimand him and Rocky lunged at him and bit him pretty darn hard. DH is still in a lot of pain and it happened a few hours ago. Rocky frequently pees in the kitchen...usually I see it and just clean it up. He's walked 2x sometimes 3x a day but he drinks alot of water.

Now DH wants to get rid of him ASAP but I can't bring myself to do it. First he is my baby and second I don't think anyone is going to take him with his past aggressive behavior and a shelter would probably put him to sleep which would break my heart especially since he is in good health.
Mainly it's DH who walks him and feeds him so I don't understand why Rocky is so aggressive towards him. Granted he has also gotten aggressive towards me (growling etc) but he's never lunged at me.

Now here is where the parenting aspect comes in. After today's incident I'm scared about leaving the dog around DD. To clarify my 4 year old nephew sleeps over at least 2x a week and Rocky has never bitten him even though my nephew has taken Rocky's toys etc and sometimes even plays rough with the dog. Now I never ever leave my nephew alone with Rocky or my cat just because you never know period.

I'm really torn. I stated to cry when DH told me to pack his sh!t because he was going to take him to the shelter so DH then backed off and told me I better find a solution.... We had planned on putting him in obedience school but with the baby finances being tight because I'm on maternity leave etc we never did. Now I don't know what to do. Is he too old to be properly trained?

He is here all day with me and he's an angel....doesn't bark etc. I noticed he tends to act up when there is company around...my sis and nephew have been here since last night. I don't know what to do...my heart is telling me to try to train him and keep him but my head is telling me that if God forbid he ever bit DD I would blame myself. FYI: DD is only 4 months old so she's not mobile yet and so far the dog just sniffs her and pretty much ignores her. He actually will look for me if DD is in the other room crying...kind of like telling me...hellloooo can you help her.

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

I can only imagine how upset you are. I'm a huge animal lover, I used to work for an animal rescue organization.

I know this is going to be an unpopular answer, but I think you need to try and rehome the dog. Maybe to a quiet home with no kids. I've seen ads like that in the classifieds. Unfortunately you can't just bring the dog to a no-kill shelter like North Shore Animal League. Legally animals have to go to the municipal shelter first and then NSAL can go and rescue animals from there if they have space, but they are not allowed to take animals in themselves.

My parents had to get rid of their dog when I was an infant. He started out biting and growling at my dad, but it got worse and worse, the last straw was when he lunged at my mom when she was changing my diaper.

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

I know that is a tough one, I am so sorry you are going through it.
My brother had a similiar situation with a cocker too, but the dog bit his dd 2x so he decided to get rid of her. He worked really hard at it and was able to find a good home in spite of the dogs aggressive history. It is a tough decision I know, but you have to think about what would happen if the dog bit dc and you knew it could happen. I am an animal lover, I feel for you.
On the side- walking a dog 2-3x a day does not seem like a lot- if I could only go to the bathroom 2 or 3 times a day I would have to pee on the floor too!

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

On the side- walking a dog 2-3x a day does not seem like a lot- if I could only go to the bathroom 2 or 3 times a day I would have to pee on the floor too!


I know...usually when he goes in the house I just clean it up and keep it moving. DH of course gets annoyed and tends to yell....I wonder now if the dog got scared.

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

Without any drama I will tell you what happened to me over the summer..

My girls had a cat. This cat was in general very nice and cuddly..but she could freak out from time to time..honestly she would just freak out and attack people out of no where.

She attacked my neighbors son who was simply sitting on our couch watching SpongeBob...

We dont have a cat anymore..

Im sure some people will think Im horrible but I was due to give birth..and I just wouldnt be able to trust the cat around the baby..

Disclaimer: We did find a very nice home for the cat.

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

I had a similar situation with my 6 year old lab. My lab bit me when I was 4 months pregnant with my second son. I was in complete shock when it happen and kept thinking thank god it wasn't my 2 year old. It was a horrible day that I will never forget. I honestly believe in my case it had to do with shots he received three days prior.

We could not bring ourselves to get rid of him. Instead we consulted with animal behaviorist. It cost a pretty penny but I felt it was worth. He put my dog on meds which worked well. Fast forward to a year later and he is no longer on meds. I could not bring myself to get rid of him and was willing to try anything to avoid it. This is what worked in my case. I still have his info if you are interested. Good luck

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

We also have a 9 year old pitt mix from the CACC in NYC! She was on death row when we rescued her 8 years ago. Although she has never been aggressive with us, she is with other dogs and doesn't really like other people. I was really nervous when I brought the babies home, but she has been really good with them. But, I am nervous as to what happens when they start to crawl/walk!

In terms of your dog, many cockers tend to be a little fiesty! They are very teritorial and tend to like women more then men!

I would try to work with her before I give her up!

Good Luck!

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

Posted by BigB

We also have a 9 year old pitt mix from the CACC in NYC! She was on death row when we rescued her 8 years ago. Although she has never been aggressive with us, she is with other dogs and doesn't really like other people. I was really nervous when I brought the babies home, but she has been really good with them. But, I am nervous as to what happens when they start to crawl/walk!

In terms of your dog, many cockers tend to be a little fiesty! They are very teritorial and tend to like women more then men!

I would try to work with her before I give her up!

Good Luck!

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

It doesn't sound like your dog is just aggressive for no reason... it sounds like he became aggressive b/c your DH yelled at him. It sounds like Rocky needs some training, I know that can be expensive (I have a Rocky myself - he's a kitty, but he's got an attitude!), but maybe try some books or some on line sites about obedience training. I've been watching that show on Animal Planet (something like It's Me or the Dog) where they bring in a professional trainer and sometimes it has a lot to do with the way dogs are pack animals and who they associate the whole alpha male concept with. Anyway, it's always smart to keep a close watch on animals and kids - even well behaved animals can accidentally harm a 4 month old - I was badly injured by a very sweet Golden Retriever when I was 5 (he jumped on me and knocked me over - unfortunately a plaster wall was behind me - OUCH!). I know your DH is probably so done with peeing on the floor and men don't always think about how they are reacting to situations. I think such a reaction is scaring your dog and causing the aggression. I know when my cats misbehave and my DH is at his breaking point he'll yell at them, which sometimes makes matters worse, like when they go in a room we don't want them in - yelling only causes them to hide - in the very room you don't want them to be in. I calmly go in with a toy and lure them out which always works. I'd say look into finding a way to get Rocky to stop peeing in the house and find out how your DH can firmly repremand Rocky without causing such fear that he becomes aggressive. I'm not sure how helpful I've been, but I don't think I would put a 10 y.o. dog up for adoption unless the aggression was consistently for no reason or the dog seemed to have some mental impairment causing the aggression. That's just me though.

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

I know this is going to be an unpopular answer... but it's JMO ... My kids safety comes first, if I had a dog that I wasn't absolutely completely comfortable with my children.. I'd find him a new home. It's an animal.. animals come second to my kids.
Is is something you really want to be worried about all the time

Message edited 3/30/2008 12:34:39 AM.

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

I think you should try training him before you find a new home for him. He doesnt seem like he is an aggressive dog, overall, but aggresive towards your DH mostly...maybe b/c your DH yells at him or b/c he knows your DH is not happy with him.

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

Get some training!!! If it doesnt work then you should consider getting rid of him. Its not safe for your DD. My DD is 14 months and is always bothering the dogs. My dogs arent aggressive so i dont have a problem. Sorry you are going through this!!!

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

We went through the same thing with our dog. He would be pretty good all day with me and the baby but would freak out and go crazy when my DH would come home. We had a trainer come to the house, it cost $250, a one time thing and it made a world of difference. They will even help with the peeing. If you want their name FM me.

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

First im very sorry.. i know its heartbreaking. My animal loving part says try and train him but my mommy side has to tell you something. My sister had a dog who was spoiled before my neice was born. Once my neice was born the dog was okay with it.. then when she did start becoming mobile she was still okay sometimes. she started to show aggression. Then one day my neice was crawling in the kitchen and some how got close to the dogs dish.. thats when the dogs bad side came out. Her lips curled back and teeth came out and a lunge appeared. My sister swooped up my neice in time. I dont even want to think about what might have happened if my sister had not picked her up in time.

I feel if your dog is showing aggression even if its not towards the child, why wait to the dog does?? Do you really want to take that risk?

Could your mom or mil take the dog if you dont want to bring to shelter?

Im sorry but i have to aggree with your dh, tho it breaks my heart to say that.

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

Message edited 3/30/2008 9:00:24 AM.

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

We have a pit mix that was "wild" but became aggressive after the baby was born. He is VERY protective of the baby. We were so close to having to give him up, we were all in tears about it. I called My Best Friends Dog Training www.muttmanners.com (516-785-8200) they come to your house for training and do not give up on the dog. It's one on one training and even though we see a huge difference with Lucky the trainers still want to continue training him. They have a lifetime membership by which they stand by. It has been our lifesaver!! Good luck with whatever you decide

Message edited 3/30/2008 7:47:49 AM.

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

Sorry, I wouldn't take the chance. Your daughters behavior will be unpredictable and she could do something to provoke the dog.

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

When it comes to animals, there are no second chances in my book. I'm not an animals lover to begin with, but any aggresive behavior like that, the animal would be out of my house. It is just not worth the risk. Sounds like the dog bit you husband pretty badly...imagine the harm it could do to a child.

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

I am sorry that you have to even think of this. I agree with the poster that said that the agression may be coming from how your husband is handling accidents. Is their any way that you would be able to take Rocky out just to pee and go back inside? If not then I would try to limit how much water he drinks. When we had our dog I would walk her the same about and even though her water bowl was always out she was never a big drinker even as a pup. Maybe even consider crate training her to have her house broken. My mother has a dog that is 6.5 years old and would never go outside. My dad was getting so annoyed that he would wake up and be greeted by pee like your DH. I finally conviced her to get a small crate and now she only has an accident if someone does let her out in time and this was 2 years ago. Plus she LOVES her crate. She is always in their. We also used a trainer with our dog and she was $60 a visit.

Now, that I have said my part on to helping the situation the mommy side agrees to find a new home. It might only get worse when your DC starts to crawl and walk. We always use to play with our Roxy like a child would from a young age. We would roll around on the floor, tug at her ears, play with nubby tail (she was boxer) and she never did anything. My DS was able to crawl over her and all she would do is lick him. We, unfortunally needed to find a new home for her too. My DD has allergies to dogs.

GL..I know it is hard decision but I say follow with what your gut is telling you to do

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

I would say that you need to get a trainer in NOW befoer your DD becomes mobile. It will give you a good 4-5 months to get the dog trained.

Do you have a backyard where you can let the dog out on it's own? We send Abby outside at least 6 times a day to go.

I think at first you need to try a trainer - if you see that the dogs behavior hasn't changed then I would see what your other options are

Good luck with whatever you decide!

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

Awww, I am so sorry! I couldn't even imagine. Our dog is in love with DS, and actually has been more so since he has been a little bigger. Dogs are pack animals, and it seems that Rocky is not feeling like he is part of the pack and that possible could be why he is acting out.

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

Just in response to the excessive water drinking... have you spoken to the vet about that? My dog does that too and it's because her liver enzymes are high - that could be a reason for urinating on the floor - you dog may just not be able to hold it anymore.

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

as a dog lover and owning one myself as well as a cat...I told DH that when DD was born if the dog showed any type of aggression towards her she was an outside dog (we live on a farm so its an option) luckily she is great with DD and loves her.
DH parents have a huskey who has bitten DH the first night they had her...well DH was showing the dog DD and she went to bite DD and ended up nipping her head (DH pulled DD away very quickly)...i ended up in tears with DD who was luckily just scared and not hurt at all (lucky for the dog!) but if that was our dog it would have been gone...that dog is no longer allowed in the room when DD is around...
as much as we all love our animals and they were our babies before our realy babies came along...you cant risk something happening to your DD...honestly i feel its only a matter of time before something does happen and that scares me so i would say please try and find a new home for the puppy.

sorry your having to make this decision

Re: Ladies with pets...I have dilemna and need advice

I would absolutely find the dog a new home asap. You never know if he will turn on your DD. I wouldn't take the chance.