Is anyone nervous about having kids

when i was young, i wanted a buttload of kids. But as i get older, the more i want to delay it and have just 1 or 2.I still LOVE kids though

If it was up to my fh, we'd have a honeymoon baby. He's always loved kids and at family events, as im talking to people with a martini in my hand, hes off giving a bottle to the babies there or putting them to sleep..

evidence


is it weird that whenever family brings up the subject, i tend to lose my breathe or break in sweats.

is anyone in my situation. One is ready to have kids, the other one isnt ready yet?


is there such a thing as ever being completely emotionally and financially ready?

(this better not be moved bc im addressing this mostly to people who have no children yet)

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

totally normal. some days i think i want 4 kids and then after spending an afternoon with a baby around, i tell FH i'm never having any!

you'll know when the time is right! hopefully your FH knows where you stand and is willing to compromise. you have so much time!!

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

I think the thing with kids is that you are never really ready! You think you are when you are pregnant, but once that kid is here...its still a HUGE shock. People can tell you over and over again how hard it is...but the truth is, its a million times harder than you think its going to be. And to be honest, in the beginning, its not that rewarding! But once that kids starts to grow and be more receptive to you and your influences...its fantastic!!!

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

Oh, you'll never be ready. How can you really be "ready"? You just have no idea until it actually happens. I can tell you, though that having a DH who absolutely loves and adores children is so wonderful. My husband helped raise his niece from the time she was born and was a nanny (or a manny, whatever you prefer ) for many years to put himself through college. It makes it tremendously easier to have a hubby who's ready and willing to help out. It just makes it a lot easier to be "ready", ya know? We had no intentions of trying for a baby until probably next year, but sometimes life's plan isn't the same as your own, and we now have Ava. I'm so glad. It was the best twist of fate there ever could have been because right before I found out I was pregnant, I was starting to think that I'd never be ready for a baby. Then WHAM! One was placed in my lap and I realized that the only way to really be ready was to go for it. I wing it every, single day. It's not easy, but it's certainly rewarding and amazing.

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

I thought I was ready until I saw the BFP line... then I freaked. I was 32 (now 33) so you'd think age-wise I would be ready - plus I was dying to get pregnant and have kids - but when it was right there in front of me as a reality - ho boy....

I am giving birth in 6 weeks, and I'm still not sure I'm ready.... but I'm excited and ecstatic nonethless!!!!

Message edited 2/15/2007 6:01:30 AM.

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

I was married 7 years when I had my daughter so if anyone procrastinated, it was me Granted I was married at 21, so I was a baby myself. I wanted my life pretty settled so I waited for college, my career to be established and my house to be renovated. Looking back I am so glad I did. You will generally know when the time is about right. It is completely normal to be terrified. Good Luck! PS My DH wanted a honeymoon baby. He waited a long time for our daughter and is a fabulous Daddy. I'm sure your DH will be as well.

Message edited 2/15/2007 7:21:45 AM.

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

Oh yeah I am still freakin out at times about being a mom

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

I was ready from the HM and DH wasn't finally after almsot a year of marriage he was ready. No pressure.

He figured that if we want 3 kids we better get a move on

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

I have been terrified of parenthood for as long as I can remember. Some of my friends are shocked that I'm planning to TTC soon because I think they thought I'd never get over my fears. That's why we took our time with this. There's nothing wrong with being afraid of parenting - it's the biggest, most important thing you'll ever do!

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

yes, I am quite nervous at the thought of being completely responsible for another human being. it is very scary and exciting at the same time.

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

Someone once told me that if you wait til you're 100% ready to have kids, then you'll never have them.

If you're 70% ready, then you are more than ready and better start making babies.

Am I nervous? YES!!

Especially on days like yesterday and today, with the weather being bad. I worry about daycare being closed, schools closing early, delayed openings.

I worry about being able to provide for them and being there for them when they need me. Especially being a working mom.

But I don't worry that I'll love and nuture them. When the time comes, I'll be ready.

You'll be OK. I'll give the advice that everyone gives me. You'll know when you're ready. And when it does happen, you just do it....with every ounce of love your heart could possibly give!

Message edited 2/15/2007 9:08:45 AM.

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

I was so ready to have a baby. I admit, the day I tested positive and the next 9 months, I was a nervous wreck, thinking, how am I going to do this?
Well, Im so glad I did! I love my son so much and the whole pregnancy experience is truly amazing!
He's a month old and I take it one day at a time! I LOVE being a mom!

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

YES, i'm Very Nervious about having kids!

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

What you're feeling is totally normal!

And as everyone tells me, there is not right time - financially - that is to have children.

I love taking care of children, but I LOVE it more to give the child back to the parent's!

Maybe down the road for us, but certainly not right now.

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

I personally am not emotionally ready for a baby.
my dh on the other hand has been asking for a baby since we got home from our honeymoon.
he doesnt know what it is like to have babies around..

my sisters were born when i was 11 so i remember clearly what it was like to have kids around.. i'm just not ready for that again. luckily dh understands.
maybe in a year or two. we'll see..

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

Jess - what a cute picture!!!

I'm scared as he!! and I'm having one in a few months. I think it's completely normal. Also - you want to enjoy being married awhile before having kids because your world completely changes. Enjoy now and when you are ready you'll know!

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

I am not nervous about having them, I am nervous about not knowing what to do once I give birth

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

im scared too and mike loves kids
so he wants them more than me

anyway, you are so young, youve got plenty of time.

enjoy being married and i am sure there will come a point where you want nothing more

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

My "I want to have a baby" phase started when I was 24. I am serious! I was looking at babies in south beach, my girls just looking at babes.

now I am TOTALLY freaked.

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

I used toi want 3-4, I now have 1 who will be 3 y.o. in May and I am not sure at this point if I want anymore or not. I am getting married in Sept and I have joint custody with my ex-husband of my son. To be quite honest, I kind of like it right now, I still have the freedom to have a career and have a life and yet I am still a mom. My fiance is also not sure if he wants kids. He is 35 (will be 36 when we get married) and he likes his freedom as well. We both love to travel and do things and I fear if we have babies that will all end and that he will start to feel like he is "trapped" (especially since he never wanted kids and never had any plans to get married until he met me), so at this point we have no plans to have children. The way I see it, I'm only 26 so I have plenty of time to decide, even if I wait 8-9 years or so and if we don't I ADORE my son and I'm still a mommy which is great with me.

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

i always wanted a bunch, but now that we have a house and all the bills to go with it, we are stopping at 2 for now. I want to be able to give my kids enough finanically and not struggle.

If 4-5 years from now things are good and money is in our favor we will possibly try for another 1 or 2.

Most people are never ready to have a kid. The ideal situation will never be perfect. Our first was unplanned, but it all plays itself out.

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

I am terrified to have kids! I have never been a "kid" person and everyone jokes about how uncomfortable I am around babies and children! I can literally count on one hand how many times I have held a baby.

However, I do want kids one day and I am trying really hard to become more comfortable. DH LOVES kids and would have one right away, but he knows how I feel and he knows that now is not the right time for us.

Re: Is anyone nervous about having kids

I am not ready yet. Hubby is 100% ready. He has a son already and it is a complicated situation, so I think that fuels his desire even more. He has always been awesome with kids, from what I have seen and have been told from before I met him. He is an amzing father (when he gets the change to be anyway . . . .)

I think it is completely normal to be nervous. For me, I am more nervous being a middle school teacher of students with disabilities . . . you get to see so many things that can go wrong when raising a child, and it scares me to no end.

I know I would like to get preggo within the next 2 years, and I know it will happen when the time is right for us both.