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SummerMom
Now a mom of 2!
Member since 6/07 4970 total posts
Name:
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Is anyone else...
...as freaked out by the possibility of a BFP as they are of a BFN every month?
I don't know, my doctor's appointment today really got me thinking that I might actually get pg in a few months. It's always been this hypothetical thing until now. Now it feels more "real."
Maybe it's because my Mom is gone. She passed away a year and a half ago. I can't imagine going through a pregnancy and having my first baby without her. Not only because it would have made her so happy to have a grandchild, but I need her to help me - I have no idea what to do when a baby cries, or is sick, or gets hurt. And I don't have a MIL or any other family nearby.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a downer. I really feel like my family is not complete; I really do feel this want and need for a child. But at the same time, I'm so scared and worried for it to actually happen. Anyone else?
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Posted 7/2/10 5:41 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
MrsH2009
Thank you St. Gerard!
Member since 8/09 6631 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Is anyone else...
Yes I really really want a  and can't wait to start trying in August, but at the same time I'm terrified and can't believe it's next moth.
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| Posted 7/2/10 5:43 PM |
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nraboni
Uggh...
Member since 10/09 6905 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Is anyone else...
Posted by DavaDay
...as freaked out by the possibility of a BFP as they are of a BFN every month?
I don't know, my doctor's appointment today really got me thinking that I might actually get pg in a few months. It's always been this hypothetical thing until now. Now it feels more "real."
Maybe it's because my Mom is gone. She passed away a year and a half ago. I can't imagine going through a pregnancy and having my first baby without her. Not only because it would have made her so happy to have a grandchild, but I need her to help me - I have no idea what to do when a baby cries, or is sick, or gets hurt. And I don't have a MIL or any other family nearby.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a downer. I really feel like my family is not complete; I really do feel this want and need for a child. But at the same time, I'm so scared and worried for it to actually happen. Anyone else?
I lost my mom in 2007 and I can relate completely to what you are saying. My MIL is in Florida but I do have my sister and some close family members near me but it is still not the same as having your mom. I don't have any advice to offer but I wanted to give you lots of 
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| Posted 7/2/10 5:59 PM |
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SummerMom
Now a mom of 2!
Member since 6/07 4970 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is anyone else...
Thanks. Going forward on this without my mom knowing makes it feel like it's not really happening, if that makes sense. You probably know what I mean.
 to you too!
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| Posted 7/2/10 7:07 PM |
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Harlow-J
Mason's mommy!
Member since 12/09 3623 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Is anyone else...
I felt the same way--we were trying and wanted that BFP more than anything, and when we got it, the first instinct we had was complete fear!
It was shocking and scary (I think it still is) but equal to excitement.
2 of my girlfriends that are mommies said that their first reaction to getting a BFP was complete fear too.
I think it's fear of the unknown-fear hoping everything turns out alright-fear of such a life change.
When baby comes you will know what to do. You'll have plenty of support from friends and family, anf especially DH.
I know how you feel-my dad passed when I was 15. Every day I wish he was around to see his future grandchild, but deep down I know he's watching and will make sure everything is ok.
Your mom will be watching over you, and she'll be a huge part of your LO even though she's not here 
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| Posted 7/2/10 7:17 PM |
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nraboni
Uggh...
Member since 10/09 6905 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Is anyone else...
Posted by DavaDay
Thanks. Going forward on this without my mom knowing makes it feel like it's not really happening, if that makes sense. You probably know what I mean.
to you too!
Makes complete sense and I felt the same way when I got married and now that we are TTC. But I have to keep telling myself that this is what she would want and I know she is happy for me and is with me through all of this...but it will never make up for the fact that she is not physically here.
After she passed I had to make the choice to move forward in my life without her or stop living. I chose to move forward. Everyday is a struggle and everyday I feel the pain of her not being here. I just hope that one day when I do have a LO, a piece of me that is gone since her passsing will be filled with the love of my LO....if that makes sense.
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| Posted 7/2/10 8:02 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is anyone else...
I think everyone feels nervous the first time around. I remember after we had our IUI we were both like, "What did we do? What did we just do?" We freaked out a little but it didn't last long. As soon as I got my BFP it was nothing but sheer and utter joy! We could not have been more thrilled or more excited and honestly, nothing else mattered. It didn't matter that our lives would change. It didn't matter that we were giving up some of ourselves and our freedom. All we were focused on was this amazing baby growing inside of me and it just put everything else into perspective. Honestly, when you want children a BFP..........BEST.FEELING.EVER. 
EDIT - I am sorry about our mom and I can't imagine how that loss must feel as you TTC. You will be a great mom and you will figure everything out and wherever your mom is she will be looking down on you and you will make her proud.
Message edited 7/2/2010 8:26:32 PM.
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| Posted 7/2/10 8:25 PM |
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SummerMom
Now a mom of 2!
Member since 6/07 4970 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is anyone else...
Awww, you guys are awesome. Thank you so much.
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| Posted 7/2/10 9:03 PM |
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Egg
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/09 627 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is anyone else...
Posted by DavaDay
...as freaked out by the possibility of a BFP as they are of a BFN every month?
absofreakinglutely.
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| Posted 7/3/10 6:51 PM |
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rosalie
LIF Infant
Member since 5/10 309 total posts
Name:
rosalie
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Re: Is anyone else...
Yes and we are not even TTC yet! When I talked to my DH about going off the pill and trying on X date, and he suggested moving that date up, I freaked out! I expect that when we do start I will be in the same boat as you
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| Posted 7/5/10 8:56 PM |
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FlowerWife
Positive Vibrations...
Member since 1/08 8423 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is anyone else...
i was freaked out for the first 6 months i was TTC.
now that its been 14 months and 2 chemical m/c's, i absolutely can't wait for a BFP.
dont get me wrong, im nervous about being a parent like anyone would be, but at this point i just want to get a BFP and birth a healthy baby with a normal pregnancy! 
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| Posted 7/5/10 9:42 PM |
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BeachGal
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 2827 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Is anyone else...
I am sorry about your mom and how you are feeling. I get freaked out by the possibility of a BFP every month. When I did get a BFP earlier this year that ended in M/C, I actually was very calm which I guess is a good thing but now that I have been trying again the thought of it is scary again. My main reasons for freaking out are fear of not having a heartbeat again and the fact that we have no one to watch the baby.
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| Posted 7/5/10 11:03 PM |
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Kelly9904
Mommy to 2 amazing little boys
Member since 5/05 9306 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Is anyone else...
I lost my mom a few months after my wedding. I remember dreading that feeling I knew would come when I had got pregnant.
Needless to say I can't sugar coat it, I cried ALOT during my pregnancy out of fear of what I would do without my mom to guide me.
But my DS is now 2.5 yo, he is hte light of my life and I KNOW I am a good mom!
And you know WHY I am a good mom? Because even though she wasnt here to hold my hand through my c/s or answer my questions when DS had his first fever...she taught me to be a MOM my whole life.
I learned how to kiss a boo boo, how to sing a lullabye, how to reason with a 2 yo who doesnt want to eat his veggies, when to be bad cop and when to let it slide, how to hold my baby close so the power of my love would leave a permanent imprint on him, how to wake at 2am and comfort a baby who just had a bad dream....all because my mom, although never perfect was a GREAT mom.
You will be fine too. There will be times your heart hurts because of what is not present. But you will know that your mom lives on in her new grandchild, and that the greatest gift we can give to our beloved moms is to be HAPPY in our lives, and a great gift we can give to our DC is the "memory" of someone who although they never got to hold them, watches them every day, every night of their lives and keeps them safe!
Good Luck!
ETA: Although I have a DS, now that I am thinking about when I want to TTC for #2, I am terrified all over again!
Message edited 7/7/2010 6:34:11 PM.
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| Posted 7/7/10 6:33 PM |
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poasBFP
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/09 599 total posts
Name:
EDD April 25th 2011
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Re: Is anyone else...
I was so excited when we talked about TTC for #1. Then we were officially trying and I bugged! Then I got pregnant and bugged even more!  But once DC#1 arrived everything really fell into place.
Recently we decided to TTC #2 and I am bugging just like I did the first time around. I thought with #2 I'd be more laid back. But the thought of having 2 makes me stress that maybe I'm not "ready".
But, once it happens it all just winds up being so natural and the emotions/feelings work themselves out.
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| Posted 7/7/10 7:00 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is anyone else...
When I walked out of the bathroom with the positive pregnancy test, I shoved it in DH's face and said "WHAT THE EFF IS THIS, WHAT THE EFF DID WE DO?!" even though it was our third cycle trying!
It is a scary feeling, one we still feel from time to time. (And I only have TWO weeks left.)
I am sorry that you have to do this without your mom, but when you do become a mom you can pass down little traditions that the two of you used to share -- and your babies will always know about their grandma
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| Posted 7/8/10 6:57 AM |
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