Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

Posted by pinkandblue

This happens every time

people need to STOP internalizing everything, it is getting ridiculous...

i DO have anger/sadness that I could not BF ds for longer but I give props to all the moms that can and do, it takes alot of dedication

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

I don't see anywhere in the article or in anyone's comments in this thread that said formula was bad.
It pointed out benefits of breast feeding, and I think the article was trying to promote it. The fact of the matter is, breast fed babies are still in the minority in this country. This is largely due to the lack of support and information women get about it while they are pregnant and after they deliver.
I am not talking about people who COULDN't breastfeed, or the people who made a personal choice after weighing the facts. I am talking about the people who simply didn't know breast feeding was an option. The women who may have thought about it for a few moments but then were shot down by their families. The women who wanted to do it when their babies were delivered but then got no guidance or support at the hospital and gave up.

I have to tell you, when I was pregnant NO ONE support me when I said I wanted to breast feed. In fact, pretty much everyone said I was crazy; that it would be impossible with twins. The LC at the hospital was busy and less than helpful. I think she spent all of maybe 10 minutes with me.
I had to do it on my own. I watched videos online to show me what a correct latch looked like.
When I was having issues with DS's latch, people told me to give up and give formula. The only support I had (and thank goodness for that) was DH, because he knew how much I wanted to do it.

The point of my long-winded story is that an article like this that points out the benefits of breast feeding is an advocate. If women got the education and support they needed, I believe more of them would breast feed.

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

Posted by eddiesmommy

Posted by pinkandblue

This happens every time

people need to STOP internalizing everything, it is getting ridiculous...

i DO have anger/sadness that I could not BF ds for longer but I give props to all the moms that can and do, it takes alot of dedication

I dont think we do, when it comes to topics like this. I honestly think this is just a topic we all feel passionately about, so it is internalized, in all of us, no matter what side its on.

I think its great that you can keep your anger and sadness on the DL when topics like this pop up. But to me, it reminds me (once again) of all the things I was unable to do for my son. So I personally, cannot and wont internalize on this topic.

Why can BF moms scream from the rooftops, support each other, but when a FF mom says that the article is just yet another reminder of how shes failed her child....why she needs to internalize that feeling, KWIM?

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

Posted by Ophelia

Posted by eddiesmommy

I dont expect to be tiptoed around, but I also expect that when a post upsets me to not be told that its my problem not the OP.

but why? it IS a possiblity.

I've been called out on a thread before for misunderstanding a poster. I accept it and move on. it happens. sometimes it IS your problem and no one elses.

anyway, Colette, I appreciated your take very much, especially the ER quote, which I quite firmly believe in.

and now...I am off to pump.

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

Posted by pinkandblue

Posted by eddiesmommy

Posted by pinkandblue

This happens every time

people need to STOP internalizing everything, it is getting ridiculous...

i DO have anger/sadness that I could not BF ds for longer but I give props to all the moms that can and do, it takes alot of dedication

I dont think we do, when it comes to topics like this. I honestly think this is just a topic we all feel passionately about, so it is internalized, in all of us, no matter what side its on.

I think its great that you can keep your anger and sadness on the DL when topics like this pop up. But to me, it reminds me (once again) of all the things I was unable to do for my son. So I personally, cannot and wont internalize on this topic.

Why can BF moms scream from the rooftops, support each other, but when a FF mom says that the article is just yet another reminder of how shes failed her child....why she needs to internalize that feeling, KWIM?

I do not mean internalize as in hold in your feelings, I mean internalize as in taking what someone says as a personal attack although it was not meant to be

TRUST me, I share in your bfing dissappointment but I think at some point we all need to be comfortable with the decisions we make for our kids

Message edited 4/14/2010 12:44:02 PM.

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

How come on the PG board, people gloat about all the traditionally "forbidden" or "bad" foods they eat, and chant "everything in moderation" (even where potential listeria is concerned?) as they indulge their latest craving. I'm guilty of having done this myself. Clearly we're not giving the baby what's best for them at this point. But once the kid comes out of the womb, suddenly everyone gets their back up and nobody is allowed to suggest that there might be something better you could be feeding your child?

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

Ok i really dont get involved in the drama, which i guess is why i post infrequently LOL

but, maybe a suggestion for FF moms is, instead of getting angry over the benefits of breastfeeding articles that are posted, why not start researching the benefits of FF and post them to support one another?

I certainly would not take offense to a FF mom posting the benefits of going that route, so I do not understand why a FF mom gets offended by the benefits of BF.

If you want support and to feel good about your decision (or need) to FF, then post your benefits and give yourselves a pat on the back instead of getting angry at others for doing it...

At the end of the day the most important thing is a child is fed, clothed, loved, and cared for and I am sure all of us moms are doing that wonderfully

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

The only people I have an issue with are the ones who don't feed their kids at all........

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

Posted by FrankiesGirl107

The only people I have an issue with are the ones who don't feed their kids at all........

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

I'm sure a lot of women like myself, would have loved to EBF however, I pumped for 6 weeks because my DS would not latch no matter what I did...and I had a lot of guilt transitioning to formula, but all that really matters to me is that he is safe, happy and healthy. I had a lot of guilt and felt like my body failed me but I had to get over that.

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

Posted by pinkandblue

Posted by eddiesmommy
Im never going to be comfortable with not being able to BF my son and I think you hit on the crux of it...bc it WASNT a decision I made. It was made for me.

I totally understand that and I feel similar but I have CHOSEN to try to accept it as it was really out of my hands

but again, I do understand your feelings, I share them with you related to the dissappointment

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

Posted by pinkandblue

Posted by computergirl

How come on the PG board, people gloat about all the traditionally "forbidden" or "bad" foods they eat, and chant "everything in moderation" (even where potential listeria is concerned?) as they indulge their latest craving. I'm guilty of having done this myself. Clearly we're not giving the baby what's best for them at this point. But once the kid comes out of the womb, suddenly everyone gets their back up and nobody is allowed to suggest that there might be something better you could be feeding your child?

No one is saying that BFing is not a womderful source of nutrition...but again, for those who CANNOT bf, formula is perfectly acceptable, it is NOT POISON

I do not understand your point other than to incite more

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

Posted by colette

I honestly feel SO sad for the struggles you both are feeling on this Buti there's one thing I can tell you it's that these 2 babies (and mine too) will NOT be looking at us 20 years from now and asking WHY you didn't BF them or BF longer... maybe their fiancees will but not them
Mel especially for you, your Eddie is loved BEYOND measure, he's freaking ADORED by you, DH and his entire clan, and THAT is the secret of a happy childhood imho... don't let regret for things passed suck the joy out of the now. Regret is insidious and will do that without our even realizing it

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

Posted by eddiesmommy

Posted by colette

I honestly feel SO sad for the struggles you both are feeling on this Buti there's one thing I can tell you it's that these 2 babies (and mine too) will NOT be looking at us 20 years from now and asking WHY you didn't BF them or BF longer... maybe their fiancees will but not them
Mel especially for you, your Eddie is loved BEYOND measure, he's freaking ADORED by you, DH and his entire clan, and THAT is the secret of a happy childhood imho... don't let regret for things passed suck the joy out of the now. Regret is insidious and will do that without our even realizing it

youre so sweet!

I think particularly this article hit a really current and raw nerve with me bc of the mention of the allergy thing and everyone knows his current allergy plight.

I even emailed Dev, the other day and said, I have guilt about not being able to BF Eddie and that maybe I couldve prevented or lessened his current suffering if I was able to BF him.

So, this post definitely (and obviously) hit a nerve.

But thank you for being so sweet!

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

Posted by eddiesmommy

Posted by colette

I honestly feel SO sad for the struggles you both are feeling on this Buti there's one thing I can tell you it's that these 2 babies (and mine too) will NOT be looking at us 20 years from now and asking WHY you didn't BF them or BF longer... maybe their fiancees will but not them
Mel especially for you, your Eddie is loved BEYOND measure, he's freaking ADORED by you, DH and his entire clan, and THAT is the secret of a happy childhood imho... don't let regret for things passed suck the joy out of the now. Regret is insidious and will do that without our even realizing it

youre so sweet!

I think particularly this article hit a really current and raw nerve with me bc of the mention of the allergy thing and everyone knows his current allergy plight.

I even emailed Dev, the other day and said, I have guilt about not being able to BF Eddie and that maybe I couldve prevented or lessened his current suffering if I was able to BF him.

So, this post definitely (and obviously) hit a nerve.

But thank you for being so sweet!

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by Ophelia

Posted by KateDevine


you don't see how that could be upsetting to someone?

what about ff moms who post about their kids sleeping through the night at 6 weeks old?

Not my FF kid!

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

Posted by colette

Posted by eddiesmommy

Posted by colette

I honestly feel SO sad for the struggles you both are feeling on this Buti there's one thing I can tell you it's that these 2 babies (and mine too) will NOT be looking at us 20 years from now and asking WHY you didn't BF them or BF longer... maybe their fiancees will but not them
Mel especially for you, your Eddie is loved BEYOND measure, he's freaking ADORED by you, DH and his entire clan, and THAT is the secret of a happy childhood imho... don't let regret for things passed suck the joy out of the now. Regret is insidious and will do that without our even realizing it

youre so sweet!

I think particularly this article hit a really current and raw nerve with me bc of the mention of the allergy thing and everyone knows his current allergy plight.

I even emailed Dev, the other day and said, I have guilt about not being able to BF Eddie and that maybe I couldve prevented or lessened his current suffering if I was able to BF him.

So, this post definitely (and obviously) hit a nerve.

But thank you for being so sweet!

Stop calling me sweet you're gonna ruin my rep around here
Eddie's allergies have been AWFUL, it must be so hard to go through that. But you must let yourself off this hook mama, they are not your FAULT! By your logic ALL FF kids would have 'em, and ALL BF kids wouldn't right? Clearly that's not true, so, not to go all Dr. Spock on your azz (the Star Trek one, not the baby onoe) but that's illogical.
I know we'd do ANYTHING to avoid having our babies suffer, but the allergy/FF connection is not causative, and I hope your ped can assuage some of your mommy guilt on that; I hope you can talk to him/her if you haven't already

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

Everything in life is about choices and trying to make the best decision possible for YOU and YOUR family. While BF "might" (not getting into that debate b.c you can find an article for any argument if you look hard enough) be the better choice - it isn't to say that formula isn't the better choice for another family. That's great that breast milk is best - but it isn't best if you are taking meds and can't BF on them, don't produce enough milk to feed your child, or are depressed about it that you have health issues etc - then FF is the best for you and your child so it isn't a black and white argument.

Everything in life is about choices. Some give organics, some will only use certain toys. Some give vaccines and others don't. Some people have to have the hottest car out there but it might not be the safest car or can't afford to buy the safest car. You can argue until the sun comes down which is better - but it is really about degrees b/c if you can't BF or you are so miserable doing so that you could hurt your child then is it the best choice? I think not. I think parents should make the choice that is best for them and others need to worry less about what other people are doing. It is easy to say oh you shouldn't BF or oh you should have - but they are NOT the ones doing so and there for it really isn't anyone else's business unless they are doing something that endangers their child.

I constantly see "well I FF but I wanted to and everyone makes me feel bad". And I see people saying BFing is constantly pushed in their faces. Well as someone who EBF#1 but who had to supplement b.c I couldn't pump enough and someone who is EBF #2 but who child wouldn't take a bottle so I couldn't FF even when I needed to or wanted to I NEVER got support for BFing. My mother constantly asks me after both DDs' hit 6 months when are you stopping? My ped pushes formula, my DD's GI told me that I don't live in a 3rd world country and shouldn't BF that there is no benefit. I believe these days you are damned if you make one choice BUT you are also damned if you make another decision. On the other side of the coin I get funny faces from moms b.c I don't FF. Unfortunately we live in a world where no matter what choice you make someone WILL make a judgment - is it wrong YES - but people DO it anyway. I think for some it is human nature. I personally think the world would be very dull if everyone did exactly the same thing, thought the say way, had the exact same opinion. Life is more interesting when we take in all viewpoints - you can't live in a box and can't understand others until you see all sides of an argument.

Re: Interesting article/study re: breastfeeding

as an open nursing mother in a sea of family and friends who have never nursed...I hear confessions nonstop.

I had no idea inverted nipples were so popular. my grandmother, 2 aunts, cousin, few friends...inverted nipples. felt the need to confess this to me.

How many mothers I meet that need wine at night to cope...so nursing was out.

Who is on anxiety meds...

who's husband wants boobs all to himself

who has had implants, reductions...

I hear it all...all the time. Do you know what??? I don't care! I don't judge,
i don't want to be judged...it never even occurred to me why these people do not breastfeed.

From what I hear, WIC is really pushing nursing. I am all for that. I notice that some groups completely are caught off guard when I nurse. They turn into modest 5 year olds. Not enough is being taught to them. Most of my inlaws are on WIC...tons of kids. None of them breastfed. Can't believe I do it...