Im getting majorly depressed...

Message edited 5/25/2006 10:06:09 PM.

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

Its always hard to go back to work. Just think its only the morning hourss 7:30 - 11:30 AM is that right? I teach so have no choice but to go back. Its heart breaking but it has to be done, good luck

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

You don't have a contract with your employer -- they could fire you and you can quit at any time. Its not "nice" but its not "wrong" either. If you decide to go back, you should tell them at least two weeks before your scheduled return.

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

I talked to my sister about you watching her baby when it is born but it's so far away still. She's not due until February and then won't go back to work until 6-8 weeks left.

I go back this thursday ... I only have 1 full day left with Emily. I am just so sad about it. I don't want to go back at all. If there were a way for us to afford me not going back, even if it meant us skimping and having to cut corners, I'd TOTALLY do it --- I just can't.



Hopefully everything will work out for you.

-Melissa

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

A friend of mine that I use to work with was suppose to come back in October. She told them she was coming back and they didnt look for anyone to replace her they just put the person that was under her in her spot. She came in on the day she was suppose to come back and gave her resignation letter. Her boss never called her durning her stay at home and she felt that she needed to be with her son. She did what she felt was best for her and her child. My boss who is their CFO was very surprised and doesnt want me to do the same and I keep telling him that I wont and that I plan on coming back but my fear is that they replace me and I come back to no work to do. Maybe you can work 3 days a week instead of 5, is that an option?

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

No...I handle the finances in the building, and someone must be there EVERYDAY to except payments...

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

it might be worth a shot to put an ad in the pennysaver or something to see if you can get a few children to babysit. I think its more common than ever for mom's to not end up going back to work. Your boss knows deep down theres a 50/50 chance of you coming back...

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

If you find a baby to watch and are able to stay home i say go for it!!! Yes initially you may feel bad about your job but do what is best for you and your baby ....good luck!

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

I felt the same way when I was supposed to go back to work after I had my 2nd daughter I COULDN"T LEAVE HER.................that was 4 yrs ago
My SIL had to go back to work after 13 weeks home with her son and I watch him and so does her sister........she said it was hard but now she looks forward to seeing him and it has gotten a lot easier to go to work now

Good Luck with whatever you decide

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

Posted by momAGAIN

If you find a baby to watch and are able to stay home i say go for it!!! Yes initially you may feel bad about your job but do what is best for you and your baby ....good luck!

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

put a cell number so they don't have your home # and really screen who calls you just as they will screen you. Start out with a list of questions written out so you know exaclty what you will say and fill out a little worksheet with every person that calls. The ones you think are shady, tell them that you will put them on a waiting list and when a spot opens up you'll call them. And that you only watch lets say 4 (I think NYS regulations require 1 adult to every 4 or 5 children- not sure the exact number) at a time.

Message edited 11/29/2005 9:58:02 PM.

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

I would personally bring my child to my work's daycare and not leave him home with a MIL that I had issues with. He will be close to you so you can check on him often plus you will not have to deal with the MIL and the further issues.
Also, most books rec'd starting back to work mid-week. It is much easier on both mom and baby.
Watching another child in your home is serious business. You should look into being licensed as well as additional insurance. Also, you will need to make solid rules about your time. Honestly, you will probably have to put in a lot more hours with a home daycare then working 7:30-11:30 in the office. Also, you can't take a sick day easily or holidays often. And you need to figure out what to do when your son is sick and you have another child to watch.

Going back to work is not easy but you may want to try it before making a big decision about starting a new business.

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

What if your MIL watched the baby 3 days and you put Ryan in the daycare 2 days a week?

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

well see Id be pretty happy doing that...but my boss refuses to give me the discount....

w/o that discount id pretty much be working just to pay for daycare...

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

Maybe you let your MIL watch him just for the 6 months until you are at your job 3 years, to qualify for the discount, then put him in there even 2-3 days a week if you don't want to do the whole 5. Or, tell your boss that you really are planning on coming back but that you can't afford the daycare unless she gets you the discount. That may entice her to act a bit on your behalf. Let her know that you are thinking of not coming back if you can't work out the daycare issues. Don't even tell her your MIL is an option.

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

Marissa, I know how you feel. I am supposed to go back 12/12 but am going back in January. I DON'T want to go back. I don't want to leave Hayley. I am going back p/t but they want at least 30 hours from me, that is so not part time (4 days a week). I have a babysitter (my SIL) but I just don't want to leave her Unfortunately, I need work.

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

I think that once you tell your boss you aren't coming back, she might make you a better offer - like the discount on the daycare or perhaps a different schedule (jobshare, maybe?). If not, I would put the word out among family and friends, I bet you someone with a child will turn up. Especially if your rates are reasonable.

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

Do you have a friend that could"split" the job with you? If your boss would allow it. You mean 7:30-11:30 AM right so you still have the rest of the day with your son? That seems like a pretty decent schedule. I would think carefully about having another child there. You will be obligatewd probably from about 7:30-5pM wich will still take time away from your child. Also tell her theres no way you can come back early-you have made plans according to the original agreement

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

Message edited 11/30/2005 10:37:43 AM.

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

Have you thought about something like Mary Kay? My dad's wife does it part time and makes over $40k a year on it. She's been doing it for a few years so she has a few people under her which helps, but she said that her first year she made a little under $10k. I was thinking about doing it but I'm just too shy to get in front of a group of people and try to sell, you know? But I keep coming back to the idea.

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...

I feel like I can totally relate to your MIL situations when I read your posts. I went back to work at 3 months and the plan was for MIL and my mom to both watch the baby on different days, well at that time there was NO way I was letting MIL watch her so my Mom has done it 9-5 M-F which I am enormously grateful for.

However just recently I have started to let ILs babysit Claire 1 day a week, I know they take good care of her, but I have other issues with them, but everything has gone pretty well. There are actually some benefits to it as well that might help you out too.... since they get to see her when Im at work I do not let them visit at other times, as this is my time with her, unless it is a special occasion, this has cutdown on their visiting ALOT. Also they are so happy to have the time with her that they respect my time with her and she is actually more comfortable around them now then before.

I know it is not a prefect solution but since you only work the morning you will still have most of the day with him, and when you look at it, most likely he will be sleeping for a few hours while you are away as well! I think it might be easier to let MIL watch him in the mornings then to watch a child in your home for the whole day, but only you really know.....I would think to at least try it out, if you can make it for 6 months, then you can always go with the discounted daycare.........Good Luck

Re: Im getting majorly depressed...