if you're not planning on going back to work..

How and when should I tell them? My DH said to wait until after I get my leave so I'll still get my disability. But I think that's not right to tell them last minute, "BTW, I'm not coming back". I don't want to screw myself out of references or burn any bridges. I just don't know what to do.. any advice?

I would love to be honest, but I don't want to screw myself either and our insurance and benefits are through my job.

Re: if you're not planning on going back to work..

This goes back 7 years ago when I had my first child and I was working full time, but I told my bosses that I was going to take the full 12 weeks allowed by FMLA (even though I was only getting the disability pay for 8 weeks for the c/s). After about 8 weeks, I went into the office and sat down with my bosses and personally told them then that I wasn't coming back. It gave them a full month to cover my position, which they already knew for that month I wouldn't be there anyway. That's what worked best for me.

In the end, the bosses didn't mind either since they eventually asked if I would come back part time and it was a wonderful working situation while my kids were young and growing up.

Re: if you're not planning on going back to work..

I am not sure what I am going to do. No matter how much advance notice I give them, it will still take 6 months to fill my position. I work for a big company that moves slow. I don't think I want to tip my hand because who knows what can happen. I may come back from maternity leave and resign. I don't think it would be a total suprise to my manager.

Re: if you're not planning on going back to work..

I had been saving for a while to be able to stay at home and my boss knew I was working two jobs. I ended up telling my boss I was going out at 7 months and not coming back. I wanted to relax until the baby came and then I knew I wasn't going back. She had asked me a few times already if I had plans of coming back and I felt bad lying. I don't think it can affect your disability because you get that either way from the state. If they tried to fire you, you could collect unemployment which would be more $ anyways. I think it depends on your relationship with your boss.

Re: if you're not planning on going back to work..

I was on the fence my whole maternity leave, but leaning towards not going back. I finally told work 3 weeks before I was due back. They were really cool about it, not upset at all. My boss even said that if/when I decide to come back to work to give her a call.

The main reason I waited so long was b/c I wanted to be 100% sure that I wanted to stay home. You won't really know how you'll react being home until you're in the thick of it. So if you have any doubt at all, I would probably wait just to make sure it's what you want.

Good luck!

Re: if you're not planning on going back to work..

I'm going to tell them at the end of my leave. I don't want to screw them over but I have to think about myself and making sure I get the paid time I am eligible for.

Besides, when I told my boss I was preggo, the first thing out of their mouth was "Are you coming back?"

I just said "Yes." because I was too scared to say 'probably not' at only 16w preggo!

Re: if you're not planning on going back to work..

just be careful with not telling them until you already on leave or are due to come back... A lot of compaines make you pay back all of the money they spent on your benefits while you were out if you dont return to work. I know of a few people who got really burned by this.

Re: if you're not planning on going back to work..

Re: if you're not planning on going back to work..

I plan on telling them around 8 weeks into maternity leave. I don't get paid leave anyway so it wouldn't matter.

Re: if you're not planning on going back to work..

Re: if you're not planning on going back to work..

Re: if you're not planning on going back to work..

I just flat out asked my benefits person what would happen if I didn't come back. I just said I wanted to make sure I knew what all my options were. Maybe she thought it was weird or was suspicious at that point, but no one ever said anything to me. I suppose it depends on your situation whether or not you can ask about it directly beforehand.

Re: if you're not planning on going back to work..

Message edited 10/18/2011 2:12:53 PM.

Re: if you're not planning on going back to work..

I let them know a month before I was supposed to go back. My manager was very supportive and was not at all surprised by it.

ETA: I knew before I was even pregnant I was not going back to work after DC #2 was born.