Re: If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

It was mostly on me when she was a newborn/infant. It most was mostly because DH has very bad vision without his contacts and even though he tried I still had to get up and help him help her lol. I just took over had we had our good and bad days. DH also had a more physical job then I did.

Re: If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

Yes, we alternate.

If I was up at night, he was up in the morning and then would switch the next night.

Re: If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

Yes he always helped , he would hold screaming baby while I prepared the bottle every time. Now I'm SAHM and he still gets up at night if needed.

DH's ( working or not) should get up and help at night from the beginning, it's bonding time that goes by so quickly

Message edited 8/2/2013 12:51:37 PM.

If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

We would both get up. He would change the diaper while I got my boobs ready. Plan on doing the same thing this time as well.

If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

When I was on maternity, I did all night feedings, and DH helped here and there on his "weekends".

He would occasionally do the 12am or 6am feeding, but never the 3am. DS sleeps 8-7 now, but if he wakes up, I get up with him.

DH does a lot for us- but the reality is that he doesn't have the patience for late night feedings. I do. We are currently ttc#2 and I expect that I will do the majority, if not all, of late night feedings.

Re: If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

Our circumstances were different because I EBF. I did all night feedings. In the very beginning he brought DS to me because I was in pain and had trouble getting out of bed. Later on DH would sometimes bring DS to me if I was really tired. We do share tasks and he definitely picked up slack elsewhere. It just made the most sense for our family for me to do the night feedings because I was BF and because the night we tried DH giving a bottle it was miserable for all of us and I actually got less sleep.

However, once DS night weaned, nights are 100% him not me -- if I go in DS will flip out for a long time until I give in and nurse him, and then stop STTN. If DH goes in DS will go back to sleep quickly. So, I put in my time and now it's his job.

Edit: I think your DH comments about it being the woman's job are BS. DH respects me as a working mom (and I make well over double his salary) so a comment like that would not fly in our household.

Message edited 8/2/2013 12:34:43 PM.

Re: If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

Yes -
While I was on maternity leave he did it here and there b/c *I* didn't think it was right to make him get up in the middle of the night when he had to be on a train @ 6am ......ocassionally if I was totally exhausted or miserable I'd ask him and he'd do it w/o a problem -

Once I went back to work, he helped. I don't see any reason for him NOT to

If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

We took shifts. DH says up late so I would sleep and then do the late late early morning ones.

We both suffered.

If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

DH does all overnight things while I'm working since I wake up at 5:30 and don't walk in the door until 4:30pm. He watches DS all day too. He goes to work when I get home, but generally works only 4 hours, so he takes more responsibility overnight. DS doesn't wake up anymore. I'm off for summer, so I watch the baby most days, but he still gets up with him first.

Re: If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

We had a tag team routine, so he helped but didn't wake up with the kids at night.

We worked it out that I would go to bed as soon as we put the baby down (9pm), he did a dream feed around 11 or 12pm, and then I would get up after that when the baby woke. This meant I usually had a 5 hour stretch of sleep.

My DH knows who he married - I am completely intolerant of the old school mentality that the woman 100% takes care of the baby, assuming we both work. If I was a SAHM I'd be much more accepting of it.

If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

Since 8ish weeks DS has been STTN so it isn't a big issue. He rarely wakes up so I'll just go in and check on him since I'll wake up first. Usually it is because his foot/leg is stuck in the railings of the crib or he's rolled into a position he can't get out of but that really only happens once every couple of weeks or so.

When he was still getting a 3am bottle we would take turns, that was before I went back to work so DH would do Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights (worked from home on Mondays) and I did Monday - Thursday nights. If I was really tired or just had a long day he would take an extra night.

Re: If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

Yes he did. He loved doing it, it was his bonding time with her.

Re: If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

I was a stay at home mom and my husband still helped without complaint -- not every night with our first, but when I had the second he helped all the time. Sounds to me like he needs more practice and you need earplugs.

Re: If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

Absolutely he helps! And if I was a SAHM he'd most definitely help on the weekends.

ETA: if I was a SAHM he'd probably help during the week too!

Message edited 8/3/2013 9:10:46 AM.

Re: If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

I am a SAHM and solely breastfeeding. For the past four months I have done every night feeding. When I do pump and ask dh to feed the baby, he will leave the bottle for ds to hold himself I get tired, but I also don't mind it. Hmmm.. If I was working, though, I am not sure how I would survive. It is a tough situation. If your DH wants your income he has to compromise with you.

If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

My husband always does. I'm the one in bed. It's easier for him to go back to bed and he can just wake up feed her and go back toned. I'm worrying about laundry or cleaning!

If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

First year I wasn't working so he helped on weekends, I felt this was fair since I was home all day and didn't mind, I went back to work when DS was one and even though he SHOULD have been STTN he wasn't lol everything was split then.

Re: If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

it's always been 50/50 and my husband is a police officer on rotating shifts.

On the times he was on midnights for 4 nights, then the next night i'd go sleep in the other room with the sound machine and he'd take a night so I could get some sleep.

Always 50/50 but many times i'd get up instead of waking him if he was particularly tired, depending on the shift.

Re: If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

Yes. He used to do night feelings too before they dropped them. I'll usually get up but if its a bad night and I've been up a few tines or both are crying he jumps in.

Re: If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

I have twins so my husband didnt have a choice. We have done it all together & he is awesome. It's good bonding time for him also. I do admit now that my twins are 21 months, if they wake up they just scream for me the whole time. Makes me nuts.

Re: If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

my dd slept through the night really quick(like 3 weeks)

BUT my son didn't... Once I went back from maternity leave at 6 weeks we then alternated nights... I had a tougher time getting him to bed, but we still alternated...Although we both have desk jobs. Maybe he needs to go to bed an hour earlier on his nights so he's not as tired from the overnight. Some days when it was really bad,we would alternated which person got up with the baby first- like I had first waking, then he had second waking.

Re: If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

I'm on maternity right now and DH works overnights. On his nights off he does the night shifts to give me a break. He helps as much as he can. Hopefully it works when I go back to work!

BTW - DH not helping would never fly. However, he knew that when he married me.

Re: If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

yes he does. We alteranted nights one night was his night one night was mine. If one of us got lucky and she didnt wake up great for that person
if it was my night and DH was awake at like 12 even if i got up he would just do it anyway

Though DH never fought me on it he didnt have a choice i made that perfectly clear before we got married and then again before we had kids.

He knows i would leave him if he didnt do his share ... no need to be with someone who wont help me and does nothing but sit around

Re: If you're a FTWM, does DH help with night-time feedings and wakings?

Yes. More with #2, especially when I was suffering fromPPD and I was worse with no sleep. He got up every night for months because he was so concerned about me. Then I went on meds, was much better and we alternated, need be.