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ASJ2008
It's a boy!
Member since 11/07 1603 total posts
Name:
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
I would say thanks BUT no thanks. =)
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Posted 1/26/09 11:59 AM  |
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bayla
Love my two kiddos :)
Member since 8/06 7178 total posts
Name:
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
Posted by annie
What a sweet offer, but hell no!! If your mom is already going to be there, there is no need for her to be there. Can she come the week after that?? Just word it nicely- tell her that she can have more time with the baby when your own mom is not there. I'm sure you'll make it sound like you're very appreciative, but you must decline.
I also wouldn't want my MIL here before the baby is born. I'm enjoying sitting around in my PJs all day, getting some errands done, and spending time by myself!
good luck!!
ITA! 
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| Posted 1/26/09 12:05 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
Send her to me...  But warn her that I will put her to work. She'd be leaving in a week. 
In all seriousness - the week before might be a bit much, and I've told my mom that I prefer for her to come anytime AFTER I've been home from the hospital for 2 days.
And I'm trying to coordinate my Mom and MIL's visits (if I get one) consecutively so I can extend the help for as long as possible.
I see nothing wrong with telling her that you appreciate her generous offer of time to help out and that the BEST way for her to help you would be if she came [insert your preferred schedule here].
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| Posted 1/26/09 12:11 PM |
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pixie
Member since 7/07 2089 total posts
Name:
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
Choice C
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| Posted 1/26/09 12:15 PM |
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jms100303
Luv my munchkins
Member since 5/05 4789 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
Oh lord, I would say thanks, but no thanks.
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| Posted 1/26/09 12:19 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
Posted by DancinBarefoot
Unless you are having a scheduled c-section I think it is totally insane for her to say she is coming the week before. How does she know when that week will be??
I would tell her how much you appreciate the offer, but that your own mother is coming and ask her to come after your mother leaves.
It is assumed for now i'll need to be induced, but we all know labor can be unpredicatable!!!
The thing is...SHE misses out on a lot since they decided to move to AZ a few years back. She is a school nurse with her summers off...so the plan is to stay with us before and after our baby comes and then head to NJ to stay with her own daughter for a few weeks when her baby comes. I know 100% my SIL will not let her stay a long time (they don't have a good relationship at all..) and my MIL tries to have that bond with me.
Like I said..shes a sweet sweet lady with not a bad bone in her body but she doesn't know when something is too much. She stayed with us for 11 days over the summer and it was just too long of a time..I can't imagine a newborn toddler, inlaws and then my own family coming. DH thinks its rude to suggest a hotel. I guess in time we'll figure it out!!
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| Posted 1/26/09 12:23 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by DancinBarefoot
Unless you are having a scheduled c-section I think it is totally insane for her to say she is coming the week before. How does she know when that week will be??
I would tell her how much you appreciate the offer, but that your own mother is coming and ask her to come after your mother leaves.
It is assumed for now i'll need to be induced, but we all know labor can be unpredicatable!!!
The thing is...SHE misses out on a lot since they decided to move to AZ a few years back. She is a school nurse with her summers off...so the plan is to stay with us before and after our baby comes and then head to NJ to stay with her own daughter for a few weeks when her baby comes. I know 100% my SIL will not let her stay a long time (they don't have a good relationship at all..) and my MIL tries to have that bond with me.
Like I said..shes a sweet sweet lady with not a bad bone in her body but she doesn't know when something is too much. She stayed with us for 11 days over the summer and it was just too long of a time..I can't imagine a newborn toddler, inlaws and then my own family coming. DH thinks its rude to suggest a hotel. I guess in time we'll figure it out!!
On a positive note...
You may just want the extra pair of hands. Myself and some others are considering this with 1 child. I mean "maybe" just "maybe" she can be the pair of hands that can watch your son while you take care of the new baby. Somehow it might be helpful to have anyone for that extra help...Just looking at the glass half full.
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| Posted 1/26/09 12:45 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
I love when people just assume you want them there for weeks on end
tell her no and you will let her know when you are settled in and then she can come....the nerve 
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| Posted 1/26/09 12:45 PM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
I choose C, my mother came to stay after my son was born and it was horrible horrible horrible. We fought, I was struggling with BF'ing...it was a nightmare. I would politely tell her no way jose.
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| Posted 1/26/09 1:42 PM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
There is a big difference in my opinion between his mom and your mom in this situation. You are the one who will go through labor and delivery or c-section. You are the one who will probably be home with her when he is at work. Your mother is your mother and depending on your relationship, she may or may not be someone you want around either, but it is definately more likely. You will be recovering too. This is not just about the baby. Having guests in your house is hard enough without a new baby. If Dh insists on this tell him to take off, prepare a bed for his parents, etc etc. That is just ridiculous!
Later on, fine they are both the grandmas...but only one is your mother when you are giving birth and recovering. Tell him he can invite his mom when he gives birth or has surgery.
I have been in exactly your situation and don't envy you. Good luck.
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| Posted 1/26/09 1:55 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
I would tell her no. I think it's way too much for you.
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| Posted 1/26/09 1:57 PM |
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LIBOUND
Texting king
Member since 10/05 5289 total posts
Name:
Suzy
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
Hell to the no!!
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| Posted 1/26/09 1:58 PM |
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DanaRenee
Fitness Junkie!
Member since 6/06 6470 total posts
Name:
Dana
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
B
and I LOVE my MIL, I just wouldn't be up for the company so soon!
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| Posted 1/26/09 2:01 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
that's tough.
If my MIL ever came, I would be more nervous to be in the house alone with her while DH was at work.
My 2 bedroom apt was full of people when I had Josh. I tried my best to share him. My mother was a god sent. Laundry, cooking, shopping...she knew her role.
My sisters, not so much. But they only stayed a week at a time. My mother came for 3 weeks.
As a mom of a boy, I try to put myself in your MIL's shoes. lol....how much access would you want to Johnny's baby one day? As much as the other grandmother?
Maybe they can be there for Johnny or the baby so then you get a chance to baby Johnny?
This is totally based on your MIL, whom I have never met. My MIL would be a handful from the second she arrived.
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| Posted 1/26/09 2:03 PM |
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MelToddJulia
Love my Family!
Member since 7/05 29064 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
B!
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| Posted 1/26/09 2:22 PM |
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IheartF&M
Finally made it to 1,000!!!!
Member since 6/08 1059 total posts
Name:
stacy
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
Option C or kill myself.
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| Posted 1/26/09 2:26 PM |
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LoveBeingMrsT
Love my Boys!
Member since 12/05 4648 total posts
Name:
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
my mil is ok but just not my cup of tea. but i'd take the help at this point with my ds having so many issues and a newborn coming. but that's just me. do what you are comfortable with and what's best for your family.
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| Posted 1/26/09 2:30 PM |
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WoodIAm
My Boys!
Member since 5/05 5498 total posts
Name:
JoAnne
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
Since slit my wrist was not an option...I would just make DH tell her no, but thank you!
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| Posted 1/26/09 2:31 PM |
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BnBdreamin
Gonna be a BIG Bro in April!
Member since 10/06 5913 total posts
Name:
Denise
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
I'd chose C too!  What amazes me is that a woman who's had a child/children herself would even come up with such an idea. I think DH has to step in here a little too. Good luck! Hope you get your privacy and special time with LO.
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| Posted 1/26/09 3:22 PM |
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mamabear
LIF Adult
Member since 3/08 4539 total posts
Name:
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
Posted by krissy888
I would kindly tell her, hell no
me too. i reallllly enjoyed my alone time with DD when she was born. we had a lot of visitors and it was overwhelming. you don't get that time back, and they grow and change so quickly. i definitely wanted that alone time when she was a newborn. those first few weeks are just precious.
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| Posted 1/26/09 3:25 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
this is so hard  She LOVES johnny so much and I know she feels like she could be the extra help we need before and after...
But she really is trying to be my "mom" instead of MIL...I told my mother her plan the other day and she said "she really needs to understand that you have a mom, its great she wants to be there, but its too much maureen..". And i tend to agree.
I think we will tell her that she can visit right after the baby is here at some point and that maybe a hotel for a few nights is best. I guess time will tell...
I think its great the moms want so much to help and I am fortunate, but its just way too much for me to consider right now. When I had Johnny she stayed for a while with my FIL, and while the visit was nice, it wasn't the "same" as MY mom. I remember missing my mom and wishing she was back to help.
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| Posted 1/26/09 3:27 PM |
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KartveliT
...
Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
Name:
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
I would tell her thank you but no thank you.
Honestly though at this point if I was having another baby soon I'm not sure if I(personally ) would say no after what I went though with DD first 3 months and especially first 2-3 weeks,lol.
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| Posted 1/26/09 3:50 PM |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
No way! Sorry, but moms trump MIL's when it comes to who gets to stay and who gets first dibs when your having a baby. I know she wants to be a part of it and she can, but not staying so long!!! Thats insane. Tell her there is no room for everyone. Put your foot down and tell her when she is invited to stay, not the other way around. You give her dates that she can come and stay.
When my MIL came and stayed with us after DD was born I wanted to kick her in the head! She slept in, didn't lift a finger and didn't cook a meal or show up even with a frozen lasagna. My parents lived in town so were over all the time and MY MOM cooked dinner and brought it to my house and fed my MIL and FIL. To this day it angers me beyond belief.
I understand that MIL's want to be there just as much as our moms. And I look into the future and would never assume I was invited to stay for a month when my son grows up and has kids. I will offer to stay in a hotel nearby, spend my days there and give them their peace at night.
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| Posted 1/26/09 4:17 PM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
Is there an option D?
Tell her no. She needs to stay at the HoJo (AFTER the baby is born) and have a nice day.
Message edited 1/26/2009 4:18:36 PM.
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| Posted 1/26/09 4:18 PM |
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Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...
Posted by MrsBumbleb
OMG NEVER, not even my Mother!
Same here.
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| Posted 1/26/09 5:13 PM |
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