Re: I need opinions...

Re: I need opinions...

It really doesn't matter if they bring the neice or not, it's THEM you don't want at your shower. From what you describe, they don't sound like very nice people.so even if the neice isn't there it's not like they'll suddenly be gushing over you becase of her absence. Is your mom paying cor the shower? Is mil helping out? If your mom is paying for it then your mom does have some say over whether your neice is invited. Are other children invited? Idk but I consider a baby shower as a place where children are acceptable. Let the neice come to the party. It's not a big deal hqving her there and telling your ILs she's not invited will only cause drama. It really isn't worth it. You won't wven realize she's there you will be so busy with other guests who will actually gush about you. Enjoy your day because regardless who's there, it's about you and your babies. Your sil sounds petty and pathetic, let her stew in her own misery. As hard as it is, be kind to her. Put on a smile. Don't let her words and actions get to you, because right now she wins because she knows she's getting to you and that's what she wants. Misery loves company and she sounds like a miserable person. Sincerely let her bs roll right off you. That's the best way to get to her.

Re: I need opinions...

Posted by MrsB12614

Hahahaha no certainly not jealous over my niece- she's great. Our tumultuous relationship goes I think beyond what I wrote. To be honest SIL is extremely pissed we are having a baby, well babies. I got pregnant when my niece was 6 months old. When we told them, she wasn't happy and said that we should have waited a while so that her daughter could have time to be the only grandchild. My SIL has really changed over the last few years- we used to be close, but with her she's been highly opinionated and negative. They won't come to our house because she feels they should have bought a house first when my DH texted them to come over, Now we don't bother. I'm also not going back to work full time and she's pissed. This time last year they begged my mother in law to quit her job to watch their kid, when MIL and FIL (who had the final say) didn't quit they were pissed because then they had to "waste" money on childcare according to SIL and they weren't making their life easier. So when I said I would be home most of the time and the days I do work my mom will have them she told me that my children will be "developmentally delayed" if they don't go to day care- I work as a BCBA so I think I would know developmentally what's appropriate. It's things like that. she HAS to make it a point to upset me, she used her baby to really make me upset when she found out we were having to see a fertility specialist.
But I gave it thought last night. I read each of your posts and opinions carefully. I'm not going to have DH say something, he's got enough issues with their family. They already don't like me much from what I sense and DH knows how I feel. This will be my one baby shower and one pregnancy and I just can't let them get to me because I won't get that day back.




To me, it reads like she is extremely insecure and jealous. I like the idea of trying to pay her a compliment or say something nice. If you keep doing that (when it's real), I would think you will see a change in the dynamic. But, it really sounds like this is all her insecurity and if you come at it from that angle, I think your feelings about her/the issues will change too.

Message edited 10/26/2016 11:08:53 AM.