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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
Well, we don't own a home and I don't think we ever will - thats what renting is for!
Do you work? If your parents are around, maybe they can just provide daycare for your child while you work, save the money and start looking thru the pennysaver for a place to rent!
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Posted 3/5/08 8:20 PM  |
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by Summerrluvv
Well..this is going to sound harsh, but you BOTH need to get a job to get out of the situation you are in. Will your mother watch her while you work? If not..maybe you can get an evening job while your husband is home? That will get you out of the house for a while and you'll be able to save money to move out. If your credit is bad, maybe you should think about filing for BK since you don't seem to have a means to pay back your debt. It will give you a fresh start and a BK looks 100 times better on a credit report than bad debt. FM me if you need more info on the BK route 
I agree with Summer.
You both need to work to get back on your feet. You need to work out childcare and work and save. Once you get into a routine, it will get much better, I promise
I agree - nothing will change unless you do something to make money - you aren't a teenager bumming out about living at home - you are a married woman and a mom - if your income is really bad, maybe you can apply to get reduced daycare? Not sure how that works - but almost all the kids at Cailen's daycare get free or very cheap daycare....
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| Posted 3/5/08 8:22 PM |
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gottaluvmusik
Just the 4 of us
Member since 12/06 3554 total posts
Name:
Andrea
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
Scott and I are in a VERY similar situation. My parents live downstairs we live upstairs. We are in no place to to live on our own and I too get depressed sometimes because i feel like I am not Cadi's mom. Please lets talk. I am here for you
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| Posted 3/5/08 8:25 PM |
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sunflowerdmsrn
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/08 838 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
First off I am so sorry you are going through this. Secondly, all of us that have met you are happy you came to New York. There may be something you can do. I know that there are lotteries for housing. I am not sure how you go about signing up but I know they are out there. I believe patchogue has one. There are also first time home owners grants. Like some people said if you could even get a PT job just to start saving a little cash it would be worth it. It may be tough in the beginning but just look at the light at the end of the tunnel. It would be you guys getting out on your own. Ever need to talk (VENT OR CRY) I am here.
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| Posted 3/5/08 8:27 PM |
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CheeChee
HI THERE!!!!
Member since 5/05 3416 total posts
Name:
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
so sorry you are going thru this...if you need to talk, please FM me...
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| Posted 3/5/08 8:37 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by Summerrluvv
Well..this is going to sound harsh, but you BOTH need to get a job to get out of the situation you are in. Will your mother watch her while you work? If not..maybe you can get an evening job while your husband is home? That will get you out of the house for a while and you'll be able to save money to move out. If your credit is bad, maybe you should think about filing for BK since you don't seem to have a means to pay back your debt. It will give you a fresh start and a BK looks 100 times better on a credit report than bad debt. FM me if you need more info on the BK route
I agree with Summer.
You both need to work to get back on your feet. You need to work out childcare and work and save. Once you get into a routine, it will get much better, I promise
I agree - nothing will change unless you do something to make money - you aren't a teenager bumming out about living at home - you are a married woman and a mom - if your income is really bad, maybe you can apply to get reduced daycare? Not sure how that works - but almost all the kids at Cailen's daycare get free or very cheap daycare....
I was going to suggest daycare assistance as well.
I'm sorry but if you can't pay your bills or even put a roof over your head being a SAHM isn't a priority. You need to get a job.
DH is probably feeling a lot of pressure trying to come up with financial solutions all on his own. You two are a team and you should work together to get out of your parent's house because it sounds like neither of you are happy there.
Good Luck
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| Posted 3/5/08 9:03 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
Oh, Christina, I'm sorry you are going through this right now. I know the transition hasn't been what you hoped it would be. I agree with the other posters about finding a job for yourself. Not only will it help financially, it will help you to feel better about the decisions you are making. Consider waitressing and some customer service rep jobs are night hours and or weekends.
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| Posted 3/5/08 9:07 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
Maybe you can get a job at a daycare center that way you can bring her with you?
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| Posted 3/5/08 9:11 PM |
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
Posted by Summerrluvv
Maybe you can get a job at a daycare center that way you can bring her with you?
Or babysit someone else's child with your DD?
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| Posted 3/5/08 9:14 PM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
I didn't see your post, but I got the jist of it.
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| Posted 3/5/08 9:15 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
Why did you write "forget it"?  We are all trying to help you
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| Posted 3/5/08 9:20 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
Posted by Summerrluvv
Why did you write "forget it"? We are all trying to help you
It is depressing to be in a situation that you can't see the way out of, but you and DH have to deal with it and be proactive and GET out of a bad situation. Do you want DD to grow up like this?
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| Posted 3/5/08 9:29 PM |
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Briannasmommy
Love her so much <3
Member since 5/05 15567 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
Posted by Summerrluvv
Why did you write "forget it"? We are all trying to help you
SOrry a lurker mean a family memeber.
no it is no one here at all. I know everyone is helping me thank you all so much
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| Posted 3/5/08 9:30 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
Actually the suggestion for child care assistance is a great idea.
I know a woman in my son's daycare pays about ~$50/mo. through the state.
Here's the application:
http://www.otda.state.ny.us/main/apps/2921.pdf
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| Posted 3/5/08 9:36 PM |
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avamamma
My Girl
Member since 7/06 3395 total posts
Name:
Tara
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
Sorry this is happening to you. I don't know where you live, but I think DD's old daycare is hiring. I know that 2 of the teachers bring there children with them. I think it would be great for you and your DD. Good Luck..
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| Posted 3/5/08 9:40 PM |
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
I didn't see your original post but you are such a sweetheart and I am sorry you are having a tough time right now. I was just talking to a client of mine about section 8 housing. Is that an option for you? It could take a while to get but it can be a win-win situation. You get help paying rent but it is not really a handout. Also, in order to stay qualified for it, a landlord has to keep the place up as far as repairs.
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| Posted 3/5/08 10:37 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
I'm sorry you are going through this. I agree with everyone else about perhaps getting a PT job. It seems like you have done alot in the past few years....married, having a baby, moving. All those things take a toll on a couple but it will get better
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| Posted 3/5/08 11:41 PM |
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SweetCin
My green-eyed boy
Member since 5/05 13499 total posts
Name:
Cin
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
Christina,
I'm sooo sorry you're going through this. When I met you, you were so genuinely sweet and seemed so happy. We're all very glad you moved back.
Take it all one step at a time...don't see the big picture & get discouraged. Barb, posted a few helpful links & there were some great ideas re: jobs. I agree...why don't you look into a job at a daycare where you could bring Bri?
In any respect, we're here for you...you can overcome this.
What's most important is to sit down with your DH & let him know you're in this together & you can work your way out of this & what's most impt to you is staying together as a family...
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| Posted 3/6/08 5:22 AM |
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justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6905 total posts
Name:
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
I didn't see your post but from what I am gathering you need to find a job right away. As Barb posted there is a grant program that will assist you in paying for your daycare if you qualify and it sound like you do. My Mom now works for that division of Suffolk County. I can get you the number if you are in Suffolk. People pay a minimal amount ($5 a week) and the county picks up the rest. They will even pay to have a family member (not your husband) watch her.
There is no point in being a stay at home mom if you will lose everything for it. The stress and fighting is far worse then the few hours you will be a way from her a week. I know for us we would be in dire straights if I was ever out of work for a long period of time. Though I am sad that I can't be home with my DD I can't and it's a reality I have come to accept.
FM me if you are in Suffolk and want the contact info.
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| Posted 3/6/08 5:49 AM |
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2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
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| Posted 3/6/08 7:13 AM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
Posted by Kerie-is-so-very
I didn't see your original post but you are such a sweetheart and I am sorry you are having a tough time right now. I was just talking to a client of mine about section 8 housing. Is that an option for you? It could take a while to get but it can be a win-win situation. You get help paying rent but it is not really a handout. Also, in order to stay qualified for it, a landlord has to keep the place up as far as repairs.
Section 8 housing is done by lottery and the list is closed right now (at least in our town..Brookhaven). The income limits for it are pretty high too, that's probably why it's soooo hard to get the help. . There is just not enough affordable housing in this area and it stinks!
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| Posted 3/6/08 10:09 AM |
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Selden78
I lvoe the fall :)
Member since 6/06 3543 total posts
Name:
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
I didnt get to read your post but....
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| Posted 3/6/08 10:17 AM |
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Babytime
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/05 659 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
Fm
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| Posted 3/6/08 10:21 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
I missed your post, but don't focus on mistakes or regrets...just start fresh today.
I am sorry you are going through all this.
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| Posted 3/6/08 10:25 AM |
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MST9106
My life:)
Member since 6/06 9589 total posts
Name:
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Re: I know this goes not belong here (long)
I agree with all of the above posters that you need to get back on your feet...and I am so sorry you're going through this!
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| Posted 3/6/08 10:30 AM |
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