I have a dilemna

This is the problem...

Alex's birthday is Sept. 24. Around here, the cutoff date for kindergarten is Sept. 1, which means, if we follow the District guidelines she'll be close to 6 before she enrolls in kindergarten.

We DO have the option of enrolling Alex in a private kindergarten when she's 5 - one that is recognized by the District, which will allow her to transition into first grade when she's 6, in the District.

I thought we would be able to wait to make this decision, but the time, unfortunately, is now.

Enrollment sheets for next year came around last week and I signed Alex up for the 3 year old class next year, thinking, she'll be turning three only 3 short weeks after school starts.

The Director called me and told me, no, technically because she isn't 3 at the start of the year, they are going to hold her back.

Essentially, this means, the two oldest girls in Alex's class, her closest friends, are moving up to the 3 year old class. The rest of the kids in Alex class will move into a "transition" class. The transition class will also include several of the younger 2 year olds who are in a class below them right now.

I'm worried how Alex will do. We all know she's a little pip - she's a ball of energy and gets bored VERY VERY easilly. Not to mention, she is a smart little cookie, and prefers to play with older children. She gets bored with, and has no interest in, children who are younger.

My fear is the class won't be stimulating enough for her, and the younger 2 year olds will draw more attention away from the teachers.

BTDT moms, please tell me how you handled this situation. All advice is welcome!!

Message edited 5/15/2008 6:46:13 PM.

Re: I have a dilemna

you mean she would be almost 6 when entering K, no ?

WOW, Im surprised that they are that strict with cutoffs. My son was over a month away from turning 5 when he started K.
Can you enroll her in a private school that allows her to be in the right age group? maybe there are schools in your area, and it's a matter of making more phone calls.
I know the feeling of having a hyper-hungry for knowledge kid


I definitely wouldnt keep her with the younger crowd. someone's gotta make an exception.

sorry, not much help, hope it all goes well.

Re: I have a dilemna

i'm not BTDT, but I would fight for Alex to be in the older class. You know her best and if you know she'll suffer in the younger class, def fight for her. You have every right to do so. This is the base for the rest of her education.

My mom fought like crazy for my brother when he entered school and she won every battle.

GL

I know you can do it

Re: I have a dilemna

I would fight for it too. I'm a January baby and my mom faught for me to be put ahead since I'd already had 2 years of preschool. I would guess that your distrcit is very strict, but there are ways around it I'm sure. You should insist that she be tested to see if she can move forward.

Re: I have a dilemna

I would fight it. You know she is ready and will prosper with the "older" kids. She is obviously very smart and you dont want her to be bored. I would see if there is anyway they can test her to prove she is ready.

Re: I have a dilemna

I would fight it too! That seems asburd for only 3 weeks. I understand that the public school has state guidelines they may have to follow, but isn't the school she is in now private? They should have more leeway.

Re: I have a dilemna

Why cant u enroll her in private K when shes 5....

Re: I have a dilemna

Wait, how will she be 7? If she is missing the cutoff that means she would only be 4 for a few weeks in k before turning 5 (my b'day is 9/13 so I was 4 for a week in K). So if you follow the guidlines, won't she be 5 going on 6? Sorry to be so nosey. I teach K and I always feel that the cutoff should be Oct. 1st because I do notice a maturity difference in kids with later b'days, but not really with Sept. kids. You know your dd and if you feel that she's ready, put her in!

Re: I have a dilemna

I would fight it. She is only a few weeks shy of the cutoff...not months off. And if she is already advanced enough, she should be fine. There are exceptions to every rule....you just have to look for them. Good Luck!

Re: I have a dilemna

My mom went through this twice. My brother's birthday is October 29 and our district's cutoff was something like September 30th. But my brother was already used to playing with the neighboorhood kids his age, so my mom fought. My brother was much bigger than the other boys his age and my mom was scared he'd be massively bigger than the kids a year younger. (She was very afraid of teasing) So, she fought for him. (Thank God! He was already 6 feet tall at the age of 12.) And his is very smart too. No need to hold him back! He became an astro-physicist!

My birthday is October 22 and my mother fought for me too. They said I needed to be held back. But being the youngest sibling, I watched all my siblings go to school and I begged to go. She said to the district people: 'If you want to hold her back, then you tell her yourself!' They let me in. I excelled well in my classes and took all honors classes, very early. By third grade I was brought into the fourth grade class for certain subjects. (Yet, according to the district, I should've only been in second grade! )

FIGHT!

Re: I have a dilemna

Sorry, I got my numbers wrong. The school district's policy here is all children enrolled for kindergarten must be 5 by September 1, no exceptions.

What I was hoping to do was enroll her in a private kindergarten program that DOES make exceptions - one that is recognized by the district, so then she could assimilate into 1st grade when she's 3 weeks shy of 6 years old.

I thought we had time to wait for this decision but her preschool is now demanding that we keep her back in the 2 year old class, when, come September 24, Alex will be 3. I'm not sure if I should just go with their recommendation, or fight it this early one.

I have some decisions to make...

Re: I have a dilemna

I would fight for her to be in the 3 year old class. I know Sydney does better with the older kids. Her bday is Jan 3 and the cut off for Kindergarten is Dec 1. I was told at several private schools that they have a window where they can have younger kids in the kindergarten and Sydney fits within the window so she can start first grade with the kids she has been with.

Re: I have a dilemna

Beth, I have been there. I'm not a fan of pushing children ahead and neither are most school districts. My youngest missed the cutoff for kindergarten this year by two weeks. She is scary smart but having an older child I wouldn't dream of pushing her ahead for so many reasons. First of all its hard always being the youngest and I don't believe kids are bored today because school, in general, is a whole different experience. I have no doubt that my little one will be "tracked" and will qualify for enrichment.

Being the youngest also becomes a problem when they reach puberty and start driving. From what I've seen with my oldest (who is in 5th grade and is an Oct birthday, we cutoff Dec1), there is a maturity issue. My oldest is almost always the youngest and there are now kids that have developed and have their periods in 5th grade. She is nowhere near that. While I never, at the time, considered holding her back (she made the cutoff by 6 weeks and was reading etc.), if I had to do it again I would and she is a kid that scores in the 99th percentile on state tests and gets enrichment (she's studying Japanese). I guess I'm saying its not all about academics. I found myself frequently pointing out to my daughter's teachers that she was one of the youngest in the room and explaining that although she is sophiscated she is not necessarily mature. On LI it has become popular to hold back kids right on the cusp and imo, its sometimes done for the right reasons and sometimes not.

Interestingly enough, my older one had a playdate yesterday with a kid that is also born in Oct and does well in school etc,. Her mom, if she had it to do again, likewise would have held her back. My oldest starts middle school in Sept (sixth grade) and in some ways the things she will be exposed to make me a little nervous. I have an incredible amount of faith in her, and we discuss everything, but even "good" kids are forced to deal with and navigate around situations that maybe they are not quite ready for.

As for your school, I would for now put her with the older children and see how it goes. If you decide you want her to repeat nursery or Pre K, they will just have to live with it and I assure you they will. What I actually am doing this year with my youngest, is having her do private Kindergarten in her nursery school and have her repeat it in public school. The school district has no idea that she is enrolled in an accredited program and I will not tell them. In addition, her K program is only 8 kids and although it is accredited, you can't convince me that its the same as kindergarten in my school district. In looking at these programs, what I have found is that a lot of them have kids that just miss they cutoff, so imo, the demographic in that room is already skewed.

Sorry for being so long winded. FM me if you want to talk. I just wish someone had explained some of these things to me 5 years ago.

ETA why don't you ask some of the teachers on the board what they think.

Re: I have a dilemna

I would try to do what it takes to get her with the older kids that she already enjoys and will be more stimulating for her. As you say she is advanced - if she is in the younger class she might be so bored you will have to advance her (skip a grade) down the road.

Re: I have a dilemna

Re: I have a dilemna

I would fight for it too.My Ds was born after the 1st of sept and if they give me a problem when he is to go to K I will figh it

Re: I have a dilemna

My parents had to fight for me too..the cut off was November 1 and my birthday is November 2nd. They made me take an IQ test! And then they made the exception.

But, you know your child best. I'd step back and weigh the pros and cons of it and whether you think she should stay back or move up.

Honestly tho, from the stories you post of Alex, I think she may be pretty unhappy staying back in the 2 year old class when she will be 3 in September

Re: I have a dilemna

Re: I have a dilemna

I would push her ahead. I missed the cutoff by 3 days and mother opted to push me ahead for the same reasons you are thinking. I was very mature for my age and needed the extra stimilation. You can always hold her back if you feel she needs it. Good Luck!

Re: I have a dilemna

Re: I have a dilemna

knowing ALex I would fight to push her ahead. The 2 year olds probably dont even talk much - so how will that be socially for her?

I have more to say on this - but I have to run - I will FM you sunday or monday ....

Re: I have a dilemna

My friend was in a similar situation. Her DD's b-day is 1/3 and the cutoff is 12/31. She enrolled her in a private nursery school this past Sept. when she was still 2. She will keep her in that school for Pre-K next year. At that point she will try to make the transition to public kindergarten at the same level. If she needs to, she will repeat a grade because she won't be able to afford private school tuition indefinitely.

ETA...I would do the same if I were in that situation. For the matter of a few days, it would be a shame for her not to be "ahead."

Message edited 5/16/2008 12:47:21 PM.

Re: I have a dilemna

Message edited 5/16/2008 1:01:53 PM.

Re: I have a dilemna

Re: I have a dilemna

Message edited 5/16/2008 4:12:11 PM.