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bean
I love my little man!!!!
Member since 7/05 1809 total posts
Name:
Janine
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Re: I am so Fed Up!
I am sorry that you are on your last rope. Why can't DH be more considerate and not act like they no nothing about baby care. Stay strong!
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Posted 3/26/06 8:18 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am so Fed Up!
I'm so sorry you are going through this.  You and your DH should sit down and talk. Having a baby is a big adjustment and you need to approach it as a team. Things will get better, this is just a rough patch.
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| Posted 3/26/06 8:45 AM |
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stayandjohn
Our life is complete
Member since 5/05 5909 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: I am so Fed Up!
I know what your going through You need to tell your husband exactly what you expect from him, hopefully things will get better soon
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| Posted 3/26/06 9:43 AM |
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paulandles912
My children are a blessing!
Member since 5/05 2598 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: I am so Fed Up!
I agree with all the other posters and have been in your shoes but worse.
We started couples therapy this past weekend which I'm hoping works for us.
Good luck with everything!
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| Posted 3/27/06 10:27 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am so Fed Up!
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| Posted 3/27/06 11:08 AM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am so Fed Up!
Thanks everyone. The rest of the weekend went well and I think putting my daughter in her crib to sleep has helped me sleep deeper even if its not a lot of hours so overall I feel like my mood has been better.
I was feeling a little run down yesterday afternoon and asked DH if he had anything he needed to get done right then and he said no so I went upstairs and just rested for an hour. Of course he put her down for a nap and then went in the basement without the monitor and she started screaming so of course I had to get up and get her but I didn't yell at him about it I just nice brought it to his attention what he did. He felt bad.
I am really going to work on saying exactly what I need done or need help with even if I have to write it down on a list. I think sometimes I expect him to be like a woman and just know what needs to be done or have the maternal instinct with our daughter and I guess I just have to accept that is just not going to happen.
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| Posted 3/27/06 11:15 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: I am so Fed Up!
Posted by monkeybride
I am really going to work on saying exactly what I need done or need help with even if I have to write it down on a list. I think sometimes I expect him to be like a woman and just know what needs to be done or have the maternal instinct with our daughter and I guess I just have to accept that is just not going to happen.
This was exactly the problem we had in the beginning. He would do something exactly like that, without thinking, and I would get SO mad! I would let it go, but the next time something similar would happen, I would literally blow up on him, or give him an extreme attitude. It got us nowhere. I think I just assumed he understood what had to be done and how to take care of Alex, without having to say anything, but the fact is, as good as he is as a daddy, he still doesn't have the mommy instinct, so he has to be flat out told sometimes. I changed how I handle the situation - now I just kindly ask him to do something when it needs to be done, without feeling guilty for asking. Things have improved 200% and it has gotten to the point now where I don't have to ask... hang in there, it will get better!
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| Posted 3/27/06 11:18 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am so Fed Up!
As I said in my FM, I've lowered my DH expectations to just their safety. While I get angry at him for not feeding them lunch if I'm out, he is right...they let him know when they're hungry. I don't think he'll ever grasp the importance of a schedule that I do.
I'm glad it's eased up a bit & more importantly that you got some sleep.
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| Posted 3/27/06 11:23 AM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: I am so Fed Up!
Just sending you some
It is not easy to adjust to a new baby..even after a few months.
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| Posted 3/27/06 12:57 PM |
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jersee3380
He's here!!
Member since 5/05 1372 total posts
Name:
caroline
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Re: I am so Fed Up!
Posted by IrishTracy
AS helpful as some husbands are this is not uncommon.
My suggestion to you is get her dressed, fed & then hand her over to your husband. Tell him to take her to the park, a store, his moms wherever. Tell him you want a few hours of "you" time. That way you can lie down possibly take a nap or just unwind. It is so hard when they are up 1/2 the night. I think being overtired doesn't help. I have been there & I can tell you I have looked at my husband & said I'm going to lie down for an hour. And I have!! You can make yourself sick if you don't get enough sleep!
HUGS TO YOU
Hope this helps!!
our baby isn't here yet so i can't really offer advice, but i agree w/ this 100%. maybe be more forceful, MAKE him help or really sit and talk to him and tell him you can't do this on your own. i'm sorry your frustrated, hope things work out
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| Posted 3/27/06 1:41 PM |
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mommy2Alex
3 babies for me :)
Member since 5/05 6683 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am so Fed Up!
Posted by JRG71
Posted by My2Boys
Posted by IrishTracy
AS helpful as some husbands are this is not uncommon.
My suggestion to you is get her dressed, fed & then hand her over to your husband. Tell him to take her to the park, a store, his moms wherever. Tell him you want a few hours of "you" time. That way you can lie down possibly take a nap or just unwind. It is so hard when they are up 1/2 the night. I think being overtired doesn't help. I have been there & I can tell you I have looked at my husband & said I'm going to lie down for an hour. And I have!! You can make yourself sick if you don't get enough sleep!
HUGS TO YOU
Hope this helps!!
I couldn't have said it better. You need some time to yourself. Either DH can take her out or you go out by yourself.
Me either! - Well said IrishTracy.
Me too, I have a hard time sleeping if I hear Alex as well. It is impossible to rest. I agree with Tracy, dress her, pack her diaper bag and tell your DH to go out for the day.
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| Posted 3/27/06 2:03 PM |
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iffer042373
5 weeks till I'm a big sister
Member since 5/05 2642 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: I am so Fed Up!
I understand my DH was like htis as well but he now knows how it is to deal with a baby well a 19 months all day. Jsut get out of the house and leave him with the baby for a few hours go to a friends or your parents to someplace and relax and if you can catch up on some zzzzzzz
I hope things get better
Message edited 3/27/2006 4:40:54 PM.
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| Posted 3/27/06 4:39 PM |
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