Re: I am begging for some advice...please

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

nope.... I never woke him during the day.... you should sleep when she does.... be grateful she sleeps at all.... Eryk slept only 6 hours a day.... the rest of the time he was eating and 1/2 asleep

Message edited 12/7/2008 3:26:21 PM.

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

I definitely recommend swaddling and the other techniques for Happiest Baby on the Block. Having my 2nd and knowing that right off the bat has made a world of difference (not that it's easy by any means with a newborn).

I personally wouldn't supplement unless you truly believe you have a low milk supply. I *have* to supplement my DS because for the 2nd time I have been diagnosed with a truly low milk supply. Some things that would tell you that you aren't making enough milk would be no change in breast size during your pregnancy or when your milk came in, not feeling your milk come in, never feeling like your breasts are full, not leaking (although this isn't always the case). Things like that. Otherwise you are probably making plenty of milk for your DD and supplementing will only decrease your milk supply and you could then begin overfeeding your DD. Babies tend to take a bottle by reflex not always out of hunger. When you put a bottle in their mouth they'll suck and then in turn drink the bottle even though they may not have been hungry. There are definite hunger cues to look for. Thrusting the tongue, rooting, etc.

Another thing to think about is that babies tend to cluster feed at night. Every 1/2-1 hour not every 2-3 hours. Are you feeding on demand or watching the clock?

If you're exhausted have you tried nursing laying down? It is definitely nice to lay in bed while nursing.

As for cosleeping, there are safe ways to cosleep. Look up Dr Sear's website on co-sleeping. He lists safe ways to cosleep. Right now my DS sleeps between us, swaddled in the boppy pillow. It's what works. Probably not the best solution but I need some sleep.

Hang in there.


ETA: I do wake my DS during the day to eat if he goes more than 3 hours. I don't wake him at night though and he tends to do some longer stretches at night which is nice. I also try to keep him awake after feedings a little bit during the day to differentiate day and night.

Message edited 12/7/2008 3:49:20 PM.

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

I can't offer much more towards the great advice than you've already gotten, but I wanted to send many hugs your way since I remember feeling exactly as you do when my DS was a few weeks old and I probably could have written your post word for word at that time

Hang in there and I know its hard right now but I promise you that it gets SO much better

Message edited 12/7/2008 3:59:30 PM.

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

Rest assured that colic doesn't really start until 2 weeks in. If she was colicky, she'd be crying ALL the time- not during specific times. My DD is 4 weeks old and I promise you- I was going through EXACTLY what you are going through now. She just has her days and nights mixed up.

I also recommend continuing with swaddling. Yes- it may seem like she hates it- but she doesn't. Swaddling mimics what she's been living in for the past few months (a constricted environment). I swore my first HATED it but she would SMILE when I'd start to swaddle her by the time she was 6 weeks old.

I highly recommend the Happiest Baby on the Block book.

try this tonight:
once it's nighttime, dim the lights, turn off/down the TV. Try to talk softly and have little interaction with her (no eye contact, talking directly to her) other than holding her to soothe. You want to reduce as much stimulation as possible. During the day, keep the rooms bright with LOTS of noise (TVs, talking, etc). Eventually she'll get that daytime is for play, night time is for sleep.

Feed/nurse her until she's somewhat calm. Then swaddle her. Once she's swaddled, you lay down propped up with pillows and hold her to your shoulder (she'll essentially be on her belly, but at an incline).

Then, shush in her ear, start at a moderate volume and increase until she stops crying. Believe me- you might have to shhhhhh really loud- but it should work. While your SHHHHing, pat her back or tush so that she's bouncing or jiggling a little (this mimics the "swinging" in the book).

Don't worry- it DOES get better.

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

Posted by SweetCin

I would suggest the video The Happiest Baby on the Block...there are 5(6?) ways to calm a crying baby & it really works. My DD went through her witching hour for 2-3 hours a night & no matter what you did she wouldn't calm down....we found white noise soothed her & shushing her & rocking her, but it seems like it'll never end while its happening.

It does get better

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

Posted by Stacey1403

Well I co-slept with both my kids and we all slept very nicely. My kids cried at night too, so it worked for us. Do you have a co-sleeper next to your bed? I would try doing that. Good Luck

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

Oh god, you are bringing back memories.... I went through the same experience. It gets better and better with each passing week.

I totally let my DS sleep in the bed sometimes, anything to get a few hours rest. He survived, and is now in is crib -so don't worry about creating habits when they are so young.

Also, here is a link to a happiest baby on the block online video -it did help me: http://coaches.aol.com/kids-and-family/harvey-karp/happy-baby

It'll get better.... hang in there.

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

I slept with Ale the first week she was home. Then we transitioned to the co-sleeper. You have to do what works for YOU and your family. You need rest and if this is how you can get it, then by all means I say bring her into bed with you.

I swear, it does get easier.....it even gets to be fun!!

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

RUN to your nearest Buy Buy Baby and get The Miracle Blanket (this will be your life saver!) Then, like others suggested get the Happiest Baby on the Block. Do it all together at it will work.

The beginning is so hard - it does get easier though!

Message edited 12/7/2008 5:18:11 PM.

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

Yes - my DS did the same thing when we first brought him home. He never slept at night. He had his days and nights mixed up for a long time. Honestly - I just accepted the schedule and tried to sleep when he did - even if it was just cat naps. It also helped to remind myself that this was just a stage and believe it or not, I even grew to enjoy the nights when it was 4 am and just the two of us walking around. He did grow out of it by about 3 mos. He was a different baby.

I would not recommend "plugging" her with formula for a better night sleep - it may decrease your own milk supply or she will end up liking the formula / bottle better because its easier. Just hang in there - the first few weeks are the hardest - but they are the best!

congrats on your little one!

ETA - if you do breast feed, you may find it helpful to attend a support group. You mostly talk about nursing issues, but you can also bring up new mommy concerns as well. I Loved my groups.

Message edited 12/7/2008 5:25:20 PM.

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

I just want to let you all know that I adore you.
I just got back from BRU and I bought the snuggler for the bed and a noise machine. I watched the free clip on happiest baby on the block (thanks so much for that! Couldnt find it anywhere!). And Im happy to hear Im not all alone in this.
I truly appriciate you all...I will let you know how it goes!

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

I sent you FM

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

Everything I was going to say has been said but just wanted to offer some

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

I started reading happiest baby on block but DS was already 2.5 months. get it now, or the DVD. My DS cried all the time, I used to get so upset and he got worse and worse. turned out he had acid reflux. the zantac made him 50% better but he was still very colicky. once you read about the tricks to quiet a crying baby you'll be able to calm dc much quicker.

You may not feel better now, but it does get better. DS just turned 12 wks and I"m surprised how much better he is! I too was terrified when DH went to work, and he travelled for 2 nigths when DS was only 3 weeks old but we survived!


ETA I feel for you, I question whether I want another baby bc of my experience w/ ds as a newborn

Message edited 12/7/2008 7:26:29 PM.

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

DS was the same way...he just cried and cried. I tried everything...fennell tea...chamomille tea...gripe water...miracle blanket...switching formulas...vacuum. Nothing seemed to work for us. He outgrew it around 3 months if I remember correctly. I have the book HBOTB if you want to borrow it...I can mail it to you!!.

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

My DS did not cry at night , he just didn't sleep. Nothing and I mean nothing worked. I would move him from crib, to bassinet, to pack and play, car seat, swing, etc. My DH was working so I tried to be so quite all night long while I moved him around. It was soo stressful. I read every book under the sun but nithing worked. I hung in there for 2 months and he slowly got better ( he did wind up being colicky). I could usually get an hour or 2 if I slept with him on my couch with pillows all around me. Sometimes sleeping with him next to me in my guest room worked too. He needed me right there within an inch or 2 away from him. You have to do what feels right to you. Co cleeping for a few hours a night was ok for me I did it with him and my first DS and they both never got attached. Please hang in there it will get better. My DH made me get antidepressants from my doc because I was so stressed and crazy. I never took took them though becuase I BF and I felt I could do it. My DH was also a rock for me. PLease get him to help you even if u just vent to him. FM me if u need to talk it out.

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

If she's gaining weight, you're perfectly fine. It could be gas or overtired that's calling sleep disruption too.

As you can see, we've all operated by process of elimination. Not hungry, not wet, tired, gas....bang head against wall. (kidding, don't do that...unconscious moms aren't good for babies).

From what I understand, colic is one of those process of elimination situations where nothing else is the answer so it's colic. However colic isnt something that starts at one week.

I would try the swaddling it & the other suggestions. As a newborn, waking to eat every 2-3 hours is normal. If she isn't sleeping at all at night, my guess is she's overtired.

Hang in there - it gets easier.

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

DD was the same way. She slept in a bassinett. We moved her to the crib and it worked like a charm. I think (no expert here) that she needed to feel some air circulating and the bassinette didnt allow it

Re: I am begging for some advice...please

My DD was the same way. However, it was all day and night. She cried constantly.
The only thing I can tell you is that it does pass. If you have a friend/relative come over, take a nap. Let them care for the baby for a bit. Also, at times, to keep my sanity, I just had to let her cry it out in her crib. I knew she was dry/fed, etc.
Does the baby have gas?? Mylicon was helpful with mine.
Sometimes a heartier meal at bedtime can be helpful.
Good luck