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Deedlebugs
Blessed
Member since 12/05 10281 total posts
Name:
Kiki
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
My children! DH and I are warped and discuss this stuff often. We both agree the kids always come first.
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Posted 3/2/10 3:30 PM  |
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
Posted by DPerotti
I'm not saying this is a bad question to ask ourselves. & maybe I just don't get it. But to make a poll about this question, I find very odd. Let's see who leaves their child in a burning building????? OF COURSE I WOULDN"T and DH would never eiher!!!! EVER! but I find this to be a "game" of sorts...maybe that's why I'm bothered by it...
maybe I'm just a weirdo  
That's how I feel.....
There's a burning building you only have 1 person to save who would it be? Who's not going to try to save their child? Why 1 person? Maybe you can save anyone not even yourself? Saving the one person made it sound like a game to me.
I would do my best to save as many people I could.
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| Posted 3/2/10 3:31 PM |
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ReiRei13
Life is Good!!
Member since 1/08 6460 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
Posted by DPerotti
I'm not saying this is a bad question to ask ourselves. & maybe I just don't get it. But to make a poll about this question, I find very odd. Let's see who leaves their child in a burning building????? OF COURSE I WOULDN"T and DH would never eiher!!!! EVER! but I find this to be a "game" of sorts...maybe that's why I'm bothered by it...
maybe I'm just a weirdo
Not sure why you see this post as a game 
Again, I recently had this conversation with friends and family and thought I'd post it here. I added the poll because there are many people who would choos their spouse or significant other. And since this is a parenting board I figured they wouldn't want to come out and say it! Again, not to make it a game or some kinda joke!
If it made just one person on here think that maybe they need to have the conversation with their spouse and figure out a plan then I'm glad I did!
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| Posted 3/2/10 3:33 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
Posted by carolyns4cupcakes
Posted by DPerotti
I'm not saying this is a bad question to ask ourselves. & maybe I just don't get it. But to make a poll about this question, I find very odd. Let's see who leaves their child in a burning building????? OF COURSE I WOULDN"T and DH would never eiher!!!! EVER! but I find this to be a "game" of sorts...maybe that's why I'm bothered by it...
maybe I'm just a weirdo
That's how I feel.....
There's a burning building you only have 1 person to save who would it be? Who's not going to try to save their child? Why 1 person? Maybe you can save anyone not even yourself? Saving the one person made it sound like a game to me.
I would do my best to save as many people I could.
Almost sounded like a trick question to me at first. Like, is there a way I can save both if I think hard enough about the answer?  But I did answer it.
Message edited 3/2/2010 3:34:51 PM.
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| Posted 3/2/10 3:34 PM |
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ReiRei13
Life is Good!!
Member since 1/08 6460 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
Posted by carolyns4cupcakes
Posted by DPerotti
I'm not saying this is a bad question to ask ourselves. & maybe I just don't get it. But to make a poll about this question, I find very odd. Let's see who leaves their child in a burning building????? OF COURSE I WOULDN"T and DH would never eiher!!!! EVER! but I find this to be a "game" of sorts...maybe that's why I'm bothered by it...
maybe I'm just a weirdo
That's how I feel.....
There's a burning building you only have 1 person to save who would it be? Who's not going to try to save their child? Why 1 person? Maybe you can save anyone not even yourself? Saving the one person made it sound like a game to me.
I would do my best to save as many people I could.
Why did I say one person? Because thats how the question was posed to me.
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| Posted 3/2/10 3:35 PM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
Posted by carolyns4cupcakes
Posted by DPerotti
I'm not saying this is a bad question to ask ourselves. & maybe I just don't get it. But to make a poll about this question, I find very odd. Let's see who leaves their child in a burning building????? OF COURSE I WOULDN"T and DH would never eiher!!!! EVER! but I find this to be a "game" of sorts...maybe that's why I'm bothered by it...
maybe I'm just a weirdo
That's how I feel.....
There's a burning building you only have 1 person to save who would it be? Who's not going to try to save their child? Why 1 person? Maybe you can save anyone not even yourself? Saving the one person made it sound like a game to me.
I would do my best to save as many people I could.
I feel the same way.
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| Posted 3/2/10 3:36 PM |
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alexlynn7
Big brother to be!
Member since 9/06 6314 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
neither DH nor myself would want to survive our children... so i would save the child.
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| Posted 3/2/10 3:37 PM |
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sometimesmommy
Always in my heart.....
Member since 11/06 6686 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
For me DC for DH he says me.
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| Posted 3/2/10 3:48 PM |
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4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
Posted by MrsP747
Posted by DPerotti
I'm not saying this is a bad question to ask ourselves. & maybe I just don't get it. But to make a poll about this question, I find very odd. Let's see who leaves their child in a burning building????? OF COURSE I WOULDN"T and DH would never eiher!!!! EVER! but I find this to be a "game" of sorts...maybe that's why I'm bothered by it...
maybe I'm just a weirdo
Not sure why you see this post as a game
Again, I recently had this conversation with friends and family and thought I'd post it here. I added the poll because there are many people who would choos their spouse or significant other. And since this is a parenting board I figured they wouldn't want to come out and say it! Again, not to make it a game or some kinda joke!
If it made just one person on here think that maybe they need to have the conversation with their spouse and figure out a plan then I'm glad I did!
So if that was your purpose to make people aware of emergency situations why poll about who would save their child and who wouldn't? Why not just ask....do you and your DH have a plan of action in case of an emergency. For me, I just saw this like  who would ever want to choose? I don't think anyone wants to out live their child, anyone...so I guess maybe for me I'm questioning why it would need to be asked. I get that you were trying to make a post that people should be aware of emergency situations but that's not what your poll asked. and yes this struck a nerve and I didn't mean to start an argument over it.
I'm done with it & understand your point, I just hope you get mine and don't think I was attacking. 
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| Posted 3/2/10 3:55 PM |
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ReiRei13
Life is Good!!
Member since 1/08 6460 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
Posted by DPerotti
Posted by MrsP747
Posted by DPerotti
I'm not saying this is a bad question to ask ourselves. & maybe I just don't get it. But to make a poll about this question, I find very odd. Let's see who leaves their child in a burning building????? OF COURSE I WOULDN"T and DH would never eiher!!!! EVER! but I find this to be a "game" of sorts...maybe that's why I'm bothered by it...
maybe I'm just a weirdo
Not sure why you see this post as a game
Again, I recently had this conversation with friends and family and thought I'd post it here. I added the poll because there are many people who would choos their spouse or significant other. And since this is a parenting board I figured they wouldn't want to come out and say it! Again, not to make it a game or some kinda joke!
If it made just one person on here think that maybe they need to have the conversation with their spouse and figure out a plan then I'm glad I did!
So if that was your purpose to make people aware of emergency situations why poll about who would save their child and who wouldn't? Why not just ask....do you and your DH have a plan of action in case of an emergency. For me, I just saw this like who would ever want to choose? I don't think anyone wants to out live their child, anyone...so I guess maybe for me I'm questioning why it would need to be asked. I get that you were trying to make a post that people should be aware of emergency situations but that's not what your poll asked. and yes this struck a nerve and I didn't mean to start an argument over it.
I'm done with it & understand your point, I just hope you get mine and don't think I was attacking.
Not sure how many time I have to say that I was curious to see other peoples answers after having this conversation w/friends and family! I was actually shocked at how many people I know that would choose their spouse. It actaully boggled my mind!
We keep going round and round, so I'm not going to keep it going. Still don;t quite get your point or why it struck a nerve.
Message edited 3/2/2010 4:08:55 PM.
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| Posted 3/2/10 4:06 PM |
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luckyinlove
I love my baby girls!
Member since 12/06 2441 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
My DD -- just as the others have said, my DH could have a better chance saving himself, and I would want him to save her over me any day.
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| Posted 3/2/10 4:12 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
I don't get why people are upset at the question. I could see being upset at the situation. My heart hurts at the thought of having to choose between two people I love.
My co-worker was surprised her husband choose her in the hypothetical situation.
I still remember that mom who was holding both children & grabbing onto a tree during the tsunami. She let go of the older one because she could not hold both. She felt the older one could have a chance at survival. They all survived. While it's hypothetical, there are REAL situations.
I don't think there is anything wrong with posting this question (and for the record, it HAS been posted before).
edited to add - if the question was which child would I choose, then I couldn't answer it. But betwen ANYONE (including myself) and my child, well it's a no brainer for me.
Message edited 3/2/2010 4:16:16 PM.
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| Posted 3/2/10 4:14 PM |
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ReiRei13
Life is Good!!
Member since 1/08 6460 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
Posted by nrthshgrl
I don't get why people are upset at the question. I could see being upset at the situation. My heart hurts at the thought of having to choose between two people I love.
My co-worker was surprised her husband choose her in the hypothetical situation.
I still remember that mom who was holding both children & grabbing onto a tree during the tsunami. She let go of the older one because she could not hold both. She felt the older one could have a chance at survival. They all survived. While it's hypothetical, there are REAL situations.
I don't think there is anything wrong with posting this question (and for the record, it HAS been posted before).
edited to add - if the question was which child would I choose, then I couldn't answer it. But betwen ANYONE (including myself) and my child, well it's a no brainer for me.
Thank You
And that story from the tsunami is just heartbreaking (I completely forgot about that).
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| Posted 3/2/10 4:38 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
I "get" that it's hypothetical but I have to say I think it's a ridiculous question.
No matter HOW many times you might discuss this with your spouse, there is no way in hell ANYONE knows what they'd do. What if by "sticking to the agreement" you lose both DC and DH, whereas saving DH was really the only manageable option? What a crappy situation THAT would be.
Of course *I think* I'd save my child first, but who knows? It's almost as bad as asking someone with more than 1 child which one would they save first?
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| Posted 3/2/10 4:52 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
Posted by Porrruss
No matter HOW many times you might discuss this with your spouse, there is no way in hell ANYONE knows what they'd do. What if by "sticking to the agreement" you lose both DC and DH, whereas saving DH was really the only manageable option? What a crappy situation THAT would be.
I think this is a good point.
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| Posted 3/2/10 5:04 PM |
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MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!
Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
I just wonder why it seems that every single post lately has to include some kind of drama.
Some people are always going to disagree, there's nothing wrong with that.
And FTR, I have no idea what I would do. I love my DD to death, but my DH is the only person I've ever loved and I have an intensely deep connection. I've always told close friends that if anything ever happens to my DH, they honestly have reason to worry about me because I really just don't know how I would go on... 
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| Posted 3/2/10 5:13 PM |
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
DC's too, and only because my DH had the chance to live his life and my DC's didn't.
I hope and pray to God that I never ever ever have to make such a decision.
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| Posted 3/2/10 5:15 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
Posted by Goobster
Posted by Porrruss
No matter HOW many times you might discuss this with your spouse, there is no way in hell ANYONE knows what they'd do. What if by "sticking to the agreement" you lose both DC and DH, whereas saving DH was really the only manageable option? What a crappy situation THAT would be.
I think this is a good point.
but this is true for EVERYTHING.
from what the menu thread on Food & Recipes to something like this.
there is always a chance that something you thought you'd do turns out to be the opposite of what you DO do in the situation...that doesn't mean we don't have ideas as we sit.
I understand it is a terrifying prospect. I could feel my heart rip a bit just from the thought.
that doesn't mean it's not something to talk about though.
it stinks that the OP is being questioned like this.
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| Posted 3/2/10 5:16 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
Posted by Ophelia
ut this is true for EVERYTHING.
from what the menu thread on Food & Recipes to something like this.
there is always a chance that something you thought you'd do turns out to be the opposite of what you DO do in the situation...that doesn't mean we don't have ideas as we sit.
I understand it is a terrifying prospect. I could feel my heart rip a bit just from the thought.
that doesn't mean it's not something to talk about though.
it stinks that the OP is being questioned like this.
Good point as well! When you are right, you are right.
It's all hypothetical I guess.
Message edited 3/2/2010 5:28:44 PM.
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| Posted 3/2/10 5:25 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by Goobster
Posted by Porrruss
No matter HOW many times you might discuss this with your spouse, there is no way in hell ANYONE knows what they'd do. What if by "sticking to the agreement" you lose both DC and DH, whereas saving DH was really the only manageable option? What a crappy situation THAT would be.
I think this is a good point.
but this is true for EVERYTHING.
from what the menu thread on Food & Recipes to something like this.
there is always a chance that something you thought you'd do turns out to be the opposite of what you DO do in the situation...that doesn't mean we don't have ideas as we sit.
I understand it is a terrifying prospect. I could feel my heart rip a bit just from the thought.
that doesn't mean it's not something to talk about though.
it stinks that the OP is being questioned like this.
I can't answer the question- truly. It's not something I don't think I can even wrap my brain around until actually faced with it. I personally feel that you can talk about it with your spouse until your blue in the face- what happens instinctually is what will take over.
I'm sorry, but I truly cannot for the life of me imagine sitting down with my husband and determining who lives and dies in a hypothetical tradegy. Just like some poster's minds are boggled that some people say they'd choose their spouse over their children, my mind is boggled that anyone really thinks they'd know what they'd do.
Maybe it's because I have more than 1 child, so there is NO workable answer for me.
Regardless, I don't see any drama on this thread- just a good debate. People feel passionately about the topic.
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| Posted 3/2/10 5:30 PM |
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Kidsaplenty
Sister love
Member since 2/06 5971 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
Posted by Deedlebugs
My children! DH and I are warped and discuss this stuff often. We both agree the kids always come first.
Same.
There was a story posted of NFR a while back. A husband saved his wife over his child after their car crashed in a lake.
I think it is worth discussing. Because GOD FORBID I was ever in a situation where a choice wuld have to be made, I want DH to be very clear that saving our children comes before me 10000x over.
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| Posted 3/2/10 5:44 PM |
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XcalystaX
Sooo Sleep Deprived....
Member since 7/06 2742 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
Posted by Kidsaplenty
Posted by Deedlebugs
My children! DH and I are warped and discuss this stuff often. We both agree the kids always come first.
Same.
There was a story posted of NFR a while back. A husband saved his wife over his child after their car crashed in a lake.
I think it is worth discussing. Because GOD FORBID I was ever in a situation where a choice wuld have to be made, I want DH to be very clear that saving our children comes before me 10000x over.
I totally agree with you. I had this conversation with a bunch of my coworkers before I even had kids and I remember alot of them said that their DH's would save their wives over their kids. I think its interesting that men and women think about these things differently and sometimes it is helpful to talk things out, God forbid something did happen. When I first asked my DH what he would do he said he would try to save both- I told him DD gets first priority no matter what. I could never ever live with myself if DH helped me first or instead of my child- I just couldn't. He has no idea I felt that way, so that is why I am glad we talked.
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| Posted 3/2/10 6:23 PM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
DH and I have talked about it as things come up and it's one of those things that I just don't know until I am in the situation...there are so many different 'what-ifs' and each one would have a different decision.
Our current conversation has been if, while in labor, the choice comes down to me or the baby...DH is firm that it's me because we have Lucas. For as much as I'd fight tooth and nail for his baby I do understand and respect his point.
Again...so many different scenarios and no matter what you decide...if all of your loved ones do not walk away by you side there will always be regret but some things are out of our hands.
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| Posted 3/2/10 7:18 PM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
while DS isnt here, yet, we have discussed this. DH actually asked me recently "if you were in an accident and they could only save one, who should I choose?" we both agreed DS.
He waited for me to answer before he told me that he would have saved DS, i was a little  but in all honesty, I would want it that way. I would save DS too though I cant imagine living without DH
i hope NONE of us EVER have to make these decisions.  
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| Posted 3/2/10 7:29 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hypothetical Question- If you could only save DH or DC, who would you save?
Posted by DmarieK
DC...there's no chance they could save themselves.
agreed, and i hope to never have to face this in real life.
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| Posted 3/2/10 7:29 PM |
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