How would you feel?

If you found out your younger brother is also expecting a baby just 2 weeks before you?

I just found out this weekend and a part of me feel happy for them 'cus they've been trying longer than DH and I have.

Yet, a part of me feel 'darn, why couldn't they have the baby a few months after me?'

Is that selfish of me? Anyone else feel this way?

Re: How would you feel?

I'd probably feel like you do at first...but when you really think about it, it is 2 blessings....and they will be cousins so close in age, that is so much fun!

Re: How would you feel?

It sucks that you feel this way, but you will probably feel more excited than upset in a few weeks. enjoy sharing your pregnancy!!

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I honestly would not care at all but my parents are afraid my sister will feel this way.

That is why they having me hide our pregnancy until after her shower and everything so I won't steal the limelight

And our PG is 3 1/2 months apart.

Message edited 6/2/2008 11:16:45 AM.

Re: How would you feel?

I was in that situtation with my 1st DD. My sister revealed that she was pregnant with her 2nd and due 5 DAYS after me.

I have to admit, I was pretty selfish at first...I was disappointed, worried I would have to share the spotlight etc. In the end, it was AWESOME...we took belly pictures together, I could go to her with any questions, we compared our progress on a weekly basis. We ended up both having girls who are 3 DAYS apart and they are the best of friends!! Here they are then and now...

Re: How would you feel?

Don't get me wrong, I am excited and happy for them! This will be their first and I'm very close to my brother and SIL.

DH's brother is also expecting a baby a few months before us and for some reason I don't feel as selfish about that. Weird... Maybe 2 weeks is just too close for comfort.

Re: How would you feel?

i would definitely be a bit disappointed (as it is now, i am the only one of my family and friends who is pregnant and i secretly love the extra attention ) but in the end i know i would be so excited to have cousins close in age - i have a cousin who is only four months younger than me, and since we live so far apart we are not close at all. i would love if my LO had a close cousin!!

that being said, neither of my two sisters is in a long-term relationship now (i don't think either one is even dating anyone) so that won't be an issue for several years.

Re: How would you feel?

I think its selfish. Although I have similiar circumstances right now that I have had some of those same feelings about as well. I think we are selfish by nature.

Re: How would you feel?

Posted by MrsFlatbread

I think its selfish. Although I have similiar circumstances right now that I have had some of those same feelings about as well. I think we are selfish by nature.

Re: How would you feel?

sorry, JMO but i would never feel that way

i would love that the babies would be cousins so close in age

Re: How would you feel?

I get it…. (At least I think I do…)

It’s not that you’re not happy for them
It’s not that you won’t be happy for your baby to have a close cousin
It’s not that you want to suffer your pregnancy alone
It’s not that you want your baby to be more special.

It’s just that for this time and until the baby’s born.. it will be constant comparison to her pregnancy. Nothing is going to be exclusively you and yours. Not necessarily a bad thing but then again for your first experience you want to get the whole experience to remember. Instead, you’ll have a shared memory and nothing you say or do will be a surprise or ‘news’ since she’s going through the same thing just a few weeks earlier than you. Everything you go through is such a milestone, but now that milestone is a little dulled… special still but not quite as bright.

I think it’s totally normal to feel this way. Not much you can do to change it. Denying that you think this way will only force you to dwell on it more than you want to and probably cause you more anxiety over it. I guess all you can do is roll your shoulders and go with it. Try to find little secret ways of making your pregnancy all yours and exclusively special.

Best of Luck

Re: How would you feel?

I would be THRILLED......

Re: How would you feel?

I may be disappointed for a split second but then I would be thrilled to have someone to go through the experience with, as well as would love the fact that the cousins are so close in age. Unfortunately my brother and sister are not quite ready for babies yet!

Although I do keep trying to recruit some of my close friends to get pregnant so my baby has friends!

Re: How would you feel?

I would be excited. My cousin just had her son the other day, a close family friend is due in September (Hi Krista!), i'm due October 12th and my other cousin is due the first week of November. Plus I have a 2 1/2 yr old nephew and 9 month old niece. We are al so excited that our babies will be around the same age.... its a blessing to have someone else to cry with.... and eat with! Enjoy it, you'll be happy you did in the future

Re: How would you feel?

i would be super excited that my baby and my brother's baby would be so close in age that they would probably be super close cousins!!

i never had close cousin growing up--so i think i'd love it.

Re: How would you feel?

Re: How would you feel?

My sister in law announced that she was having a baby (very unexpected) and that she was due about 3 weeks after me. I have to say, it is soooo great to see my son and my nephew so close in age...and it def brought my sil and I closer together. Think about it in terms of how great it will be that the cousins will be soo close (plus you have someone to compare notes with now) Congrats auntie!

Re: How would you feel?

Very selfish of me I know, especially since my little brother and his wife were married for a million years before I met my DH but my SIL got pregnant and found out right when I had to go in for a D&C for a missed miscarriage. It made it even more miserable even though I ended up getting pregnant only two months behind them.

But if I had a dollar for every person who said, oh, copying your brother??? I would have been a rich girl. It was really rough and I was so jealous when I first miscarried.

ETA: Now my neice and my DD are best buddies and I am happy it ended up this way.

Message edited 6/2/2008 3:59:08 PM.

Re: How would you feel?

Re: How would you feel?

I like the idea of cousins being so close at age. I actually wanted, one of my SIL to be preggo with me.

Re: How would you feel?

I have several friends who are also pregnant... 2 that are 12 weeks ahead, one that is pregnant 1 week longer, and one that is behind me by a bit..

I was thrilled to find out of all of their pregnancies... to me it feels like one giant preggo club we can go through the experiences together.....

Re: How would you feel?

Re: How would you feel?

Posted by MrsFlatbread

I think its selfish. Although I have similiar circumstances right now that I have had some of those same feelings about as well. I think we are selfish by nature.

Re: How would you feel?

I would be thrilled. How great it will be for your babies to grow up together!!

Re: How would you feel?

i would be thrilled! no one should have to put their life on hold and how nice will it be for the babies to grow up together!