how quickly people forget (vent)

so i have a friend who has had 4 mc. She is currently 20 weeks pregnant and I am so ****** at her. I think she forgot what it feels like to be in the whole mc/ ttc process.

I've had 2 mc's and she doesn't know that we are trying again but today she says to me. "You really need to stop being scared and hurry up and get pregnant, your DH isn't getting any younger" are you kidding me... she knows what this is like why would you say that. and on top of everything she is only 4 months pregnant and constantly calling me up to complain about all of her pregnancy issues. I feel like freaking out and saying do you know what i'd give for some morning sickness... as long as it meant a healthy baby! UHHHGGGG... I had a great day but that truly ****** me off.

Re: how quickly people forget (vent)

WOW!!

i'm sooo sorry.

honestly, why not just say that??? I say go for it. It might put things back into perspective for her.

sometimes i find that with friends... it's best to just say what's on your mind or what's bothering you. no need to hold it in and let the animosity build up and come between you.

Re: how quickly people forget (vent)

I had a similar experience with a friend who went through infertility and seems to have forgotten what the journey was like.... telling me how I should just relax and it will happen.. etc.. she knows full well what it was like to hear comments like that while she was trying!

I just chalk it up to the fact that even though we both went through IF, my issues are vastly different than hers and I pray that she will never experience what I have gone through

Sorry about your friend!

Message edited 11/19/2010 11:37:38 PM.

Re: how quickly people forget (vent)

Posted by PennyCat

I had a similar experience with a friend who went through infertility and seems to have forgotten what the journey was like.... telling me how I should just relax and it will happen.. etc.. she knows full well what it was like to hear comments like that while she was trying!

I just chalk it up to the fact that even though we both went through IF, my issues are vastly different than hers and I pray that she will never experience what I have gone through

Sorry about your friend!

Re: how quickly people forget (vent)

That is so rude of her!! Is she a good friend? Maybe she does think she is trying to help you but I would get annoyed too. I'm sorry she is making you feel this way. I know it would be hard but maybe you can talk to her about this.

Re: how quickly people forget (vent)

Not nice at all...
She probably doesn't even realize, I think I would calmly say something esp if it was a close friend.......if it wasnt a close friend I just dont think I would bother with her much anymore

After I lost a job a few years back one of my (very close) friends who was in the same field as me would call up everyday crying and complaining about how much she hated her job.......I said something but I still don't think she really got it, we are still very close friends but I don't think we are the same anymore......at that time in my life it seemed like the worst thing in the world for me, your situation is 100X tougher to deal with.

But on the other hand maybe this is almost kind of a good thing for us, hopefully once we get our BFP we will also forget how tough things were (tougher for some more then others), but we will remember to be a whole lot more sensetive towards others!

Message edited 11/20/2010 10:14:25 AM.

Re: how quickly people forget (vent)

Some people are really too self centered!!!!

Re: how quickly people forget (vent)

maybe just a comment like "yeah well I'm glad YOU think it's so easy but it's easier said than done" might tip her off to the fact that she's being incredibly insensitive.

sorry...I think she's a real A-hole for saying that to you.

Re: how quickly people forget (vent)

Posted by MrsKS

Posted by PennyCat

I had a similar experience with a friend who went through infertility and seems to have forgotten what the journey was like.... telling me how I should just relax and it will happen.. etc.. she knows full well what it was like to hear comments like that while she was trying!

I just chalk it up to the fact that even though we both went through IF, my issues are vastly different than hers and I pray that she will never experience what I have gone through

Sorry about your friend!

the ONLY time I could see myself saying a comment like "just relax" is when girls who have been trying for 3 months or so get all worked up. I could never imagine saying it to someone who has been through what you have been through.

Re: how quickly people forget (vent)

Posted by MrsKS

Posted by PennyCat

I had a similar experience with a friend who went through infertility and seems to have forgotten what the journey was like.... telling me how I should just relax and it will happen.. etc.. she knows full well what it was like to hear comments like that while she was trying!

I just chalk it up to the fact that even though we both went through IF, my issues are vastly different than hers and I pray that she will never experience what I have gone through

Sorry about your friend!

the ONLY time I could see myself saying a comment like "just relax" is when girls who have been trying for 3 months or so get all worked up. I could never imagine saying it to someone who has been through what you have been through.

Re: how quickly people forget (vent)

wow!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so surprised since she has been through this!!!!!!!

try to brush her off cause she is just insensitive!!!!

Re: how quickly people forget (vent)

thanks guys I'm over it! she's stupid and stupid people say stupid things... we are friends but not really all that close anyway. I think the DH isn't getting any younger is what killed me. He's not even that old, we have no sperm issues and I am much younger then him... so it really just is stupid to say... anyway i'm over it!

Re: how quickly people forget (vent)

Re: how quickly people forget (vent)

that is really messed up... i'm sorry.

Re: how quickly people forget (vent)

That's sooo self centered and insensitive, I'm sure she wouldn't have wanted to hear any of that so how dare she speak to you that way. People really don't think or censor what they say!!