how do you let it not be a competition?

DH's bf is starting to ttc this month same as us. I love them to death but everything comes so easy to them.

I keep thinking how jealous I will be if its them bf us. Is that horrible? I'm way to my competitive its horrible.

Re: how do you let it not be a competition?

I really did start out this way, but now I have completely changed my tune. Not sure if it is because we are on month 5 (not long I know) or took a month off, or what, but I am so much more it will happen when it is supposed to. I really wanted to have a summer baby, now that that is off the table, I'm much more relaxed. In the long run does it matter if my baby arrives in July or November? I know it does to some, but it doesn't to me anymore. It took me from August to get to this point though, and I def. had some jealousy issues along the way. The other thing that has helped me is that most of my friends that are now pg, if you saw me above post I have 9 due this year so far, struggled to get there, so it gives me hope.

Re: how do you let it not be a competition?

Maybe this wont be so easy for them.

For DH & I everything seems to just fall into place except this. going into month 15 so maybe it wont be that easy.

I also wouldnt talk about it with them.

Re: how do you let it not be a competition?

I used to feel this way... but now I have resorted to the idea that I just want to be pregnant AT ALL and stay pregnant with a healthy baby... I know in the real world most people don't have a similar road that I had to deal with and will get pregnant faster. I stopped comparing and caring.. I just want it to happen for ME, whenever that is.

Re: how do you let it not be a competition?

i dont look at it like this for this reason..and i only learned this after having a mc and all kinds of problems ttc

u never know how long it will take any couple..some it happens fast and some it can take years..cant worry about them have to worry bout you..i will now never ask someone..oh when are you having kids or are you guys trying? bc u never know if they have been for years and i know how much it hurt when people asked me

as hard as it is at first..and trust me it gets easier..dont worry about them..if they get pregnant first great,u will too

good luck

Re: how do you let it not be a competition?

It's not a competition-- it's just that you both made the decision to try for a family at the same time. It's not a race. I would really try to not let it get to you since you are already feeling this way.

I will say from my own experience, after trying for 6 months and having 2 chemicals-- I wouldn't trade any of that for getting pg right away, because the one that stuck ended up being the most amazing child, whom I fall more in love with every day. I hope I get so lucky this time around-- how ever long it takes. It totally sucks to have other people get pg before you, but time has brought me this perspective. Hope that helps, and good luck!

Re: how do you let it not be a competition?

Re: how do you let it not be a competition?

You girls are right and thank you. I just have to keep telling myself eventually it will be my turn everytime the green eyed monster tries to rear its ugly head.

Re: how do you let it not be a competition?

It's funny because when I first started TTC my biggest fear is that one of my friends would get pregnant before me without even trying and it would devastate me. It made me sick with worry for months and do you know what happened a few weeks ago? My best friend told me she was pregnant. Just like that, without even trying. After crying and feeling sorry for myself for a day or two I started to feel better. Ironically I think I needed something like this to happen. I had put SO much pressure on myself to be the "first to have a baby" and now that it's not going to happen that way I can just focus on MY TTC journey and not worry about anyone elses.

Try not to worry/stress too much. Regardless of who gets pregnant when your time will come soon!

Re: how do you let it not be a competition?

not horrible at all. Totally normal and I'm sure most people on this board can relate. I know I sure can!
Its not about having a 'competition'." Its just about wanting something so so so badly, and it being painful to see others have it and wanting the same for yourself. Hang in there