How am I supposed to do this?? (major vent)

I'm 8 weeks with #2 and seriously I not even close to being happy. I'm actually quite miserable b/c I feel that this couldnt have come at a worse time.

1. Our landlord sold the building so we have to move by 8/22. The apt we are moving into wont be ready until mid-Sept so we have to put our stuff in storage and stay with my in laws for a couple weeks. STRESSFUL!!

2. We have been going thru the process of trying to get DS EI services. I have the final meetings this week but for the past month I feel like its a huge weight on my shoulders. I was thrown for a loop with their initial diagnosis so I've been beyond worried about him.

3. I know this is an irrational issue but with #1 my mom passed away suddenly for a battle with cancer while I was 7 months pregnant. I keep having those VIVID pregnancy dreams that I have to go to another funeral pregnant and I wake up in a sweat.

4. Along with the above, I keep having dreams that DH is with someone else. Its beyond irrational b/c DH can barely handle me so I know he'd NEVER do such a thing ESPECIALLY with me pregnant.

5. With DS the delivery was an emergency c-section b/c DS's heart rate got dangerously high and he was "sunnyside up". After the c-section my OB took care of a lot of my endometriosis. I have an insane amount of scaring on my uterus and my repro-system. Now with my uterus growing, I'm cramping and in an INSANE amount of pain. I was on bed rest this weekend and possibly have to be on it longer. This is huge issue for me - a stay at home mom with a very active toddler.

I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I feel like everytime I choose to do something with DS I'm putting DC#2 at risk for a miscarriage. But when I rest b/c of DC #2, I feel like I'm letting DS down.

DH has been INCREDIBLY helpful and caring. He has been taking care of DS for me. He has seriously been fabulous but he cant work all day and take care of us.

I don't know what to do. I was so happy with DS's pregnancy even though I HATED being pregnant. Now with #2, I'm so guilty bc I don't feel happy about it.

Re: How am I supposed to do this?? (major vent)

Breathe hunnie. Sometimes when we think of EVERYTHING all at once it is way overwhelming. You can and WILL get everything done, but not all at once.

What is priority #1 and needs to be done first--do that, and move to the next thing.

You have 8 months before baby gets here so there is plenty of time to resolve a lot of these things.

It will be okay

Re: How am I supposed to do this?? (major vent)

Re: How am I supposed to do this?? (major vent)

Everything will work out. DS#1 is 15 months old and I'm due with DS #2 in Oct. When i first found out i was prgnant i thought the timing was the worst timing ever. It was soo unexpected! I was looking for a new job ans couldn't fathom staying at that job through this pregnancy. I got a new job and took it while I was 8 weeks pregnant. Then I stressed about telling them. DS#1 is sooo active and it's been hard but DH has been a great help. BTW during my 1st trimester I had vivid dreams that my DS#1 had died. It was super scary.

hang in there....it's tough but I know you'll get through it. One day at a time.

Re: How am I supposed to do this?? (major vent)

Re: How am I supposed to do this?? (major vent)

Anxiety is a killer....take one day at a time.

Re: How am I supposed to do this?? (major vent)

Re: How am I supposed to do this?? (major vent)

Lots of hugs for you. Take each 'problem' one at a time. You are going to have a happy and healthy pregnancy. These are bumps in the road.

Re: How am I supposed to do this?? (major vent)

Re: How am I supposed to do this?? (major vent)

sending you hugs!! you can through this, your stronger than you think!!

Re: How am I supposed to do this?? (major vent)

I was happy when pregnant with DD (my first) because I was blissfully ignorant-of course everything was going to be perfect and my child would be perfect and bright and what a wonderful life we were making. My grandmother died while I was pregnant, DH and I moved down to NC, had to find new doctors 1/2 through my pregnancy, house hunting, lots of stress. But again, I knew everything would be perfect because my perfect child was coming into the world.

Then she was born with hip dysplasia and that scared the crud out of me for a while.

And then, when pregnant with DS (number 2), they found a cyst on his brain (benign, they go away in utero) but enough to scare me, and then he failed the newborn hearing test and a ton of other hearing tests and then came the other delays (speech, OT, PT). He is behind, but making great progress and his ENT is still iffy on if he would need a hearing aid but still, it's all out there and causes worry/stress.

And, I am now pregnant with number 3. Guess what? When I have time to remember I am pregnant, it's not all rainbows and puppy dogs like it was with DD, before the reality set in that things can and do go wrong. So, I carry around a lot of worry and stress. It's just life-once you know that things can and do happen you can't go back to those days where everything is perfect.

But, I have a new confidence, one that comes from experience not just my hopes and dreams. One that comes from knowing that this kid is going to be great. Not because I am naive and think that the tough things only touch other people and not my family, but because I know that things are never perfect and yet can bring you great joy.

Sorry for the ramble-I just think that what you are going through is a combination of a lot of balls in the air and the fact that you are starting down a new path with DS right when you find out you are pregnant. I'm sure you are happy about the new baby, it's just hard to focus on that when you've got so much going on. Once things settle down and you get into a groove, you'll find those moments of joy again

Re: How am I supposed to do this?? (major vent)

You have FM =)