Hospital Guests during/ after birth

I was visiting with my in laws this past weekend when they started talking about how they need to pack a bag because as soon as they hear I'm in labor, they are driving to the hospital. How would you feel about this? They live about 2 hours away. This will be my first birth so I'm not sure of what to fully expect but this is making me nervous. Am I wrong to ask for them to wait until after the babies are born before they head down? Also I'm having twins so there is a possibility they will need the NICU.

Hospital Guests during/ after birth

This is a hard one. Is it their first grandchildren? I feel like you can tell everybody else to stay away but it is so hard to do with parents/ in laws. They are just so excited! At the same time, you have to do what you feel is best for you and DH. Are they the type of people that would be offended, or are they very understanding?

Re: Hospital Guests during/ after birth

My mom and mil are like this too. DH and I have a plan not to call anyone until we are checked into the hospital and progressing. I don't think you can stop them from coming down but you can control when the I'm in labor/hospital call is made.

Hospital Guests during/ after birth

I told my dad and my in laws I didnt want anybody at the hospital when I was in labor. I wanted to have that first day/night as just the 3 of us and would have visitors the next day.

Well my dad just showed up at the hospital and stayed in the lobby. He wanted to be there gd forbid something went wrong. Well once my in laws heard he as there they shows up too. I had dh tell my dad he could come in and say hi, but I never saw my in laws. It was getting late and I wasn't progressing so dh told everyone to go home.

Well after they left I delivered an hour later. Had that night and the next morning to ourselves. That was important to me.

But, of it's their first grandchild and they live 2 hours away they would want to be at least in the area. Def discuss with your dh and make sure you're on the same page. He has a say too.

Re: Hospital Guests during/ after birth

This is a completely personal decision.

As far as people in the room as you are in active labor:
I was induced, so everyone knew when I was going in. My mom and sister showed up an hour after I was checked in and I had people (SIL, MIL, friends, family) in and out all day. I felt amazing though - super easy labor. I might have felt differently if I was in pain. I was going to let MIL stay for the actual birth part too, but she almost passed out. But as soon as Reid was born she was right back in there! She was the 3rd person to hold him.

As far as people in the room directly after giving birth:
I was the 3rd person to hold both of my nephews after they were born. I always wanted my closest friends and family in the labor room celebrating with me as soon as the baby was born. However, I almost bled to death and so extra visitors were not allowed in (and my mom, sister, and MIL who were in the room for the whole thing were ushered out). I was disappointed that no one (other than mom, sister, & MIL) got to hold Reid until the next day. I would have loved for them to have been able to be in there with me.

There is also the option that they will just go right down to the nursery and see the babies and not you. They have every right to do that. Most nurses will ask you if you're up for visitors. If you say no, they will tell your family you cannot have visitors due to hospital rules for whatever nonsense they make up. If you say yes, they will let them right in. I think it's very nice that they want to be there! But you have to decide what you want (in room or not...you don't have much say in them looking into the nursery).

Hospital Guests during/ after birth

I was induced. My family wanted to come right away (1st grandchild) but they said it would be awhile and sure enough it was... three days! My mom ended up coming to keep me company for an hour or so on day 2 b/c DH wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home to take a nap and shower.

Once I was ready to push, we let everyone know. My family was relatively close by though (no more than 1 hour away).

However, if I could do it again, I would have waited til after she was born to call everyone. I feel like we lost out on some family bonding time and that was part of the reason why we failed at BFing. Plus my mom is a psycho and less than an hour after I gave birth (after a 65 hour labor), she was trying to get me to do my hair and makeup instead of attempting to BF.

Message edited 6/30/2014 10:59:53 PM.

Re: Hospital Guests during/ after birth

My ILs are like this too. I called them at 6 to tell them I was on my way to the hospital knowing I wouldn't be scheduled til 9. DH wasn't even home from work yet. Mil was about to leave right then. She probably would have been there before me. Lol. We got checked in then called them to come. I had a CS at midnight so I didn't see anyone til the next day. They could see dd2 through the nursery but dd1 was in the nicu and I instructed DH that I wanted us to see her first. He went in to visit her after they all left.

You call the shots. They will want to be there when the babies are born but you don't have to see anyone until you are ready. They can go get food to kill time. You can even let them visit for 10 mins then tell them you are tired. And you can keep babies in the nursery if you want. The nurses will do what you ask.

Re: Hospital Guests during/ after birth

With my first my parents, sister and inlaws where at the hospital when I gave birth. They stayed in the waiting room. We called them whenI was about 9cm and going to push soon. So they came up to hospital then. My dad did come in when I was in labor once.

I loved that they where all there. They each got to come in to see my son after we where both cleaned up. I loved seeing all their faces when they met him for the first time. Plus my mom bought me food and I was more then happy to give my son to someone so I could eat. You are so hungry after labor. My turkey sandwich was the best thing ever.
Everyone could only stay for a short time. Nurses tell them they have to go. So don't worry about anyone lingering.

I don't know I think it's special to have family around. Especially if it's their first grandchild. They will give you plenty of time for just your DH and you to be with the baby when they are first born. I'm not sure about if they have to go to NICU though. They probably just want to be in the waiting room when babies are born. It's up to you but I think when you have your first, everything seems like such a big deal but in the long run, you'll see it won't be.

I just had my third and no one was at hospital with us. I had him really early in morning. Plus inlaws had to watch my kids. So the first time is just so special.

Message edited 7/1/2014 3:47:30 AM.

Re: Hospital Guests during/ after birth

My ILs and parents both live 3 hours away. Once I was in labor, I called both sets of parents and they hopped in the car and drove to the hospital. I had a fast labor and delivery so they were only sitting around in the waiting room for an hour before I had him. We then waited about an hour before we let them into the room.

Hospital Guests during/ after birth

Personally, I really don't care who wants to sit in the waiting room while I'm in labor. No one is coming in to see you without your permission. I had my IL's and my dad and sister in the waiting room and they sat there about 12 hours before I delivered. We chatted and facetimed a little which was no different than if they were at home and at least kept me entertained. I delivered at 9:20pm so it was after visiting hours and they nurse let them see DD and I on the way to the maternity ward in the hallway for about 3 minutes. If I delivired earlier in the day and they were allowed to spend time in my room once I was situated I would probably let them for maybe a half hour tops. My ILs are good and wouldn't want to impose anyway. My family I would be fine with kicking out when I needed to. You can always tell the nurses to shoo them out after a short time period but it's totally up to you if you want to tell them not to come the first day at all.

Hospital Guests during/ after birth

We're not planning on telling family I'm in labor until I'm already checked in and it's been confirmed, because I don't want anyone in the room while I'm in labor other than DH. It just feels so personal to me.

Once the baby is born DH and I are in agreement that were waiting until I'm cleaned up a bit, and we've had skin to skin/breastfeeding before anyone is allowed in the room-I'm guessing an hour or so. After that, I don't care how long they stay

Hospital Guests during/ after birth

I was induced and my mom and dad showed up and sat in the waiting room. It stressed me out. I told them to go home but they wouldn't. I wound up giving birth via c section and about an hour after I did, my husband wheeled the baby out to see them. They weren't allowed in. They came back the next day to visit.

Hospital Guests during/ after birth

My in laws live 4.5 hours away and drove down as soon as we told them we were going to the hospital. They went to my DH's grandparents house to wait. Then we called both them and my parents when the time was close for me to push and they all waited in the waiting room until my DD was born. Then my Dh went in the waiting room to announce it to them. It was very sweet and they were all allowed to come in the room and hold her.

Message edited 7/1/2014 8:56:57 AM.

Re: Hospital Guests during/ after birth

with ds, we didn't call anyone until he was already born (we also wouldn't have time to if we wanted because my labor was super fast). i would do the same for dd except we need to call whoever will be watching ds and i'm sure they will spread the word. labor sucks and i really don't need anyone popping in or texting every 5 minutes to check on my status.

Message edited 7/1/2014 9:18:24 AM.

Re: Hospital Guests during/ after birth

DD was born at 6:37 a.m. and I had a revolving door of visitors all day, from like 8 a.m. to 10 p.m...then more visitors all day the following day.

I felt great though...no epidural so I was up and moving around right after I delivered. I was tired because I hadn't slept at all but I liked having visitors & I couldn't keep the grandparents away. It's the first baby on both sides. By 10:00 p.m. I was done though.

It's a totally personal decision. Good luck!

ETA: I wouldn't have anyone in the delivery room besides DH. My mom asked and definitely got denied

Message edited 7/1/2014 3:25:54 PM.

Re: Hospital Guests during/ after birth

Totally personal decision. DH and I will be the only ones in the room while in labor - once I give birth, we'll let our families know first so that they can visit whenever they'd like, and then whoever else would like to come after is more than welcome to. But for the actual labor, we don't envision anyone waiting in the room for it to happen - they all live fairly close, so they'll come once it happens.

Re: Hospital Guests during/ after birth

I was induced because my water broke. About 10 min after I had DS, my parents, DH's parents, and grandparents were in the L&D room. I seriously was going to pass out, I was exhausted from being up all night and pushing. I didn't kick them out but really wish I had some time alone.

Message edited 6/1/2015 1:06:41 PM.

Hospital Guests during/ after birth

Its very personal. I had a csection so my parents came in while I was getting ready to go in and it helped ease my nerves. Afterward DH bonded with baby in recovery room while the sewed me up and wheeled me in. I got to nurse her and hold her for a few minutes before they brought my whole family in. It was great to see everyone and see their reaction to DD. I always felt like this was their joy to experience as well since they are such a big part of DD life and our main emotional support system. I was happy they were there. I aso found visitors to be very conscious of me and how I was fairing. Most people would pop in for a few minutes kiss kiss, oooh and aaaah over baby and be on their way. If anyone hung out too long DH and I would be like ok babys tired or ooops Mommy needs to nurse and they would get the hint to hit the road.

Re: Hospital Guests during/ after birth

Re: Hospital Guests during/ after birth

Re: Hospital Guests during/ after birth

They are excited and I think it's nice that they want to be there! This is not something to be worried about. Just be thankful you have people who love and care about you enough to hop in the car and drive 2 hours to be a part of such a special time in your life.

Re: Hospital Guests during/ after birth

Re: Hospital Guests during/ after birth

At Stony Brook, my mom somehow got into the delivery room right after I had DD. It was right before I was being taken to my postpartum room. They did not ask me if I wanted her to come in or not…I came out of the bathroom and there she was.

Re: Hospital Guests during/ after birth

Honestly it wouldn't bother me. I would be happy that they would be so excited tha they'd want to be there.