guilt over stopping pumping/bf'ing

so once again, I am a bf failiure.

I failed with DS and I am failing again with DD.

I promised myself that I would not beat myself up this time around if it didn't work out but here I am feeling like crap again. I told myself NO GUILT! happy mommy = happy baby. DS did BEAUTIFULLY on formula.

And here we go again. DD just will not latch deep enough so I exclusively pumped for 1 month, but I've had it. I can't keep up with the pumping.

So I decided to stop pumping in the middle of the night and in one day, my supply decreased to less than 1/2, so I decided to give in and go to formula.

and here I am washing my pump parts for the final time and thinking to myself, "ok, maybe I shouldn't stop, maybe I can build my supply up again and start pumping 8x a day again"

I hear all of you ladies who EP and get 30-40 ozs a day, and were able to build freezer storage, and cut down to pumping 3-4x a day and I think to myself - "I should be able to do that too, but I'm not dedicated enough." I have a 2 1/2 year old that needs my attention too. I just can't do it and be happy and spend the kind of time I want to with DS and DD.

I know it is all internal and no one else is pressuring me.

I just had to get it out.

Thanks if you got this far.

Re: guilt over stopping pumping/bf'ing

Try not to be so hard on yourself. Everyone is different and some people just don't have as good a supply no matter what they do. I personally cannot imagine exclusively pumping. I BF DS and I hate pumping. It is hard enough for me to pump once a day to build up a freezer stash, I couldnt imagine doing it ALL the time, then bottle feeding (which for DS takes longer then BF), then having to clean all those parts multiple times a day. You have to do what is best for you and your family.

Re: guilt over stopping pumping/bf'ing

DO NOT feel bad. I don't know how other moms do it! The ONLY reason I can pump is b/c I live with my mom so if the baby goes hysterical while I am pumping, I can call her and she can come pick her up. I can't even imagine with another kid running around!

Re: guilt over stopping pumping/bf'ing

DON'T be so hard on yourself! Happy mom = happy baby - in your case 2 happy babies!

Re: guilt over stopping pumping/bf'ing

Dont' do it to yourself PLEASE!!!

A little more than a week ago I made the decision to stop bfing my DS... I hate pumping. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE pumping. He had a good latch, but he was on me 9287349827 hours a day, all day. I was stressed beyond belief. Yelling... screaming at my DD... crying... snapping at my DH... misery. Absolute misery. I hated "giving up" on my DS. I bfed him for twice as long as I bfed my DD for, but just like you I thought I should try harder... but at what cost??

My girlfriend kept pushing me to stop because she saw what it was doing to me... and she knew I had to go back to work (this Thursday I go back) I told her but so many people do this.. (meaning the pumping and bfing) and she said yes, some people can. They're not YOU. It's not working for you. And she was right.

In the week and a half that I've weaned him I'm happy. I haven't yelled at my DD just because she wants my attention. I stopped snapping at DH (and I think he even likes me again, lol). I still nurse my DS at night but during the day it's bottles and formula. And it's OKAY. I haven't FAILED HIM and you haven't failed your DD. I did what I had to do to keep my sanity and to give both my children a happier home.

Re: guilt over sto

I know how you feel. Don't be too hard on yourself though. I have just started to not be too hard on myself. I BF-ed DD for 2 weeks and I just couldn't do it anymore. I was miserable! It hurt and I had a really bad crack on one nipple that was taking forever to heal. So I was on the verge of completely quitting but then I decided to pump. I was able to build up my supply to about 25 oz a day. So I have been just pumping for about 2 weeks now. DD will be 4 weeks on Friday and I am trying to make it till Friday so DD can have BM for at least the first month. I currently pump 5 times a day but I think after Friday I am going to cut it down to maybe 3 or 4. I am just sooo tired. It isn't so bad on the weekend when I have DH's help but during the week when he has work I am sooo tired. There is just no rest between taking care of DD, feeding her, changing her and then pumping. I don't know how other mother's do months of BF-ing and/or pumping. I can't take it much longer! Feel good that you gave DC some BM and it really is true that a happy mom makes a happy baby. I've just come to realize this myself.

Re: guilt over stopping pumping/bf'ing

Posted by eroxgirl

Dont' do it to yourself PLEASE!!!

A little more than a week ago I made the decision to stop bfing my DS... I hate pumping. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE pumping. He had a good latch, but he was on me 9287349827 hours a day, all day. I was stressed beyond belief. Yelling... screaming at my DD... crying... snapping at my DH... misery. Absolute misery. I hated "giving up" on my DS. I bfed him for twice as long as I bfed my DD for, but just like you I thought I should try harder... but at what cost??

My girlfriend kept pushing me to stop because she saw what it was doing to me... and she knew I had to go back to work (this Thursday I go back) I told her but so many people do this.. (meaning the pumping and bfing) and she said yes, some people can. They're not YOU. It's not working for you. And she was right.

In the week and a half that I've weaned him I'm happy. I haven't yelled at my DD just because she wants my attention. I stopped snapping at DH (and I think he even likes me again, lol). I still nurse my DS at night but during the day it's bottles and formula. And it's OKAY. I haven't FAILED HIM and you haven't failed your DD. I did what I had to do to keep my sanity and to give both my children a happier home.

Re: guilt over stopping pumping/bf'ing

Posted by eroxgirl

Dont' do it to yourself PLEASE!!!

A little more than a week ago I made the decision to stop bfing my DS... I hate pumping. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE pumping. He had a good latch, but he was on me 9287349827 hours a day, all day. I was stressed beyond belief. Yelling... screaming at my DD... crying... snapping at my DH... misery. Absolute misery. I hated "giving up" on my DS. I bfed him for twice as long as I bfed my DD for, but just like you I thought I should try harder... but at what cost??

My girlfriend kept pushing me to stop because she saw what it was doing to me... and she knew I had to go back to work (this Thursday I go back) I told her but so many people do this.. (meaning the pumping and bfing) and she said yes, some people can. They're not YOU. It's not working for you. And she was right.

In the week and a half that I've weaned him I'm happy. I haven't yelled at my DD just because she wants my attention. I stopped snapping at DH (and I think he even likes me again, lol). I still nurse my DS at night but during the day it's bottles and formula. And it's OKAY. I haven't FAILED HIM and you haven't failed your DD. I did what I had to do to keep my sanity and to give both my children a happier home.

Re: guilt over stopping pumping/bf'ing

you're a great mommy!! do not feel guilty. you are doing whats best for yuo and ur family. i am EP and i feel like i don't have time for it and i only have 1 DC so i can't imaging EP with a 2.5 in addition to DD.

Re: guilt over stopping pumping/bf'ing

Don't worry about quitting but I will say that if you really want to do it you should give it a bit longer. At 4 weeks, I wanted to quit too! I am now at 5 months+ and I am so happy I didn't quit.

Are you using a hospital grade pump?

Re: guilt over stopping pumping/bf'ing

I beat myself up for a while also, then I realized that was silly. DS was so much happier on formula and so was I!!! You did your best and your DD got the best of it!

Re: guilt over stopping pumping/bf'ing

Just many of these

Because LIKE YOU, I was there too and in the end, you arent a failure, you did what you could and that month was great that you got to offer.

Happy Mom=Happy baby!

Give it a day or two and once you feel that relief, esp after the bb's soreness goes down..........

the stress from it all, just goes away and you smile, PROMISE!

Re: guilt over stopping pumping/bf'ing

You definitely have not failed anyone!! At the end of the day, BOTH your babies are fed well and taken care of. That's what counts! Whether it's BM or formula, your daughter is getting the nourishment she needs! She got some BM, which is awesome- you gave her all that you could and what more can any mommy do than that?? You are a great mommy and have no reason to think otherwise!!