| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: [1] 2 |
kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
|
GRRR, DH needs to help more
Ok, so I love my DH and he does do a lot around the house but not as much as I feel I do. Yesterday I came home and he made dinner but left my kitchen a mess for me to clean (after Sunday I scrubbed the heck out of it and cleaned the fridge). And then I asked what he did all day (he was off) and he did go to the post office for me, took out the trash and made dinner, but that was it. How can I get him to chip in more with cleaning the house. I'm not a crazy neat freak, but I do like keeping a clean house. Its important to me.
Does anybody have any tips?
|
Posted 4/17/07 9:51 AM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource | Prudential Douglas Elliman Real Estate |
MikesWife
Wanting...........
Member since 1/06 6887 total posts
Name:
Karen
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
This is an endless battle between me and DH as well. At least he cooks. My DH claims incompetence.
If you figure it out, let me know please 
|
| Posted 4/17/07 9:58 AM |
| |
|
TheLorax
LOVE
Member since 2/06 5581 total posts
Name:
Suzanne / SuzBride
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
Posted by kerrycec03
he did go to the post office for me, took out the trash and made dinner, but that was it.
You are already doing better than me in that department 
|
| Posted 4/17/07 10:35 AM |
| |
|
nixy
LIF Adult
Member since 9/06 1575 total posts
Name:
K
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
welcome to the frustrations of living with a man. If you can figure out how to solve this let me know!
|
| Posted 4/17/07 11:43 AM |
| |
|
lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
My advice: get a housekeeper.
|
| Posted 4/17/07 11:44 AM |
| |
|
Joanna
LIF Infant
Member since 3/07 99 total posts
Name:
Joanna
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
Like a broken record, I explain over and over again that cooking dinner involves more than just cooking. DH does not seem to comprehend. I've actually told him that it's not worth having him cook, when he doesn't bother cleaning up the mess.
|
| Posted 4/17/07 11:49 AM |
| |
|
MrsNaunie
Kai helps my father dump out.
Member since 9/06 1181 total posts
Name:
Lauren
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
Posted by TheLorax
Posted by kerrycec03
he did go to the post office for me, took out the trash and made dinner, but that was it.
You are already doing better than me in that department
Ditto.
|
| Posted 4/17/07 11:58 AM |
| |
|
kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
Posted by lululu
My advice: get a housekeeper.
ok, we all can't afford to pay somebody to do what we can do for free. Wish we could though
|
| Posted 4/17/07 12:02 PM |
| |
|
SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
sorry he is being annoying, Kerry! I am lucky, DH will clean - he says I am not good at it, so I say fine you are perfectly welcome to clean
|
| Posted 4/17/07 12:38 PM |
| |
|
PotofLuck06
Our Baby Boy Is Here!!!
Member since 11/06 13241 total posts
Name:
Betsy
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
Posted by SweetTooth
sorry he is being annoying, Kerry! I am lucky, DH will clean - he says I am not good at it, so I say fine you are perfectly welcome to clean
Gee, that's what my DH says to me, too, Lauren, so I let him have the responsibility.
We came to an agreement, if one cooks, the other cleans the kitchen, including pots and pans.
He doesn't share the Dyson, so I don't vacuum, but I take care of the papers, bills, etc
I would suggest you sit down and talk to him and come up with a program that works to both of your advantages. I do more yard work than DH, but he makes it up by cleaning the bathrooms, etc
|
| Posted 4/17/07 12:43 PM |
| |
|
~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
Posted by kerrycec03
Posted by lululu
My advice: get a housekeeper.
ok, we all can't afford to pay somebody to do what we can do for free. Wish we could though
But it's not being done...thus the reason behind this post 
I would just sit down with your DH and discuss what you need from him (and vice versa) and come to some sort of plan. A clear definition of what is expected of each other.
|
| Posted 4/17/07 12:44 PM |
| |
|
lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
Posted by kerrycec03
Posted by lululu
My advice: get a housekeeper.
ok, we all can't afford to pay somebody to do what we can do for free. Wish we could though
Well, actually housekeepers are not as expensive as you might think. But since you state you cant afford it, I would split up all the household responsibilities and make a schedule of who does what and when they do it. That way you can show him exactly how much more you are doing around the house than he is. In my house, I am responsible for everything indoors and he is responsible for everything outdoors, with the exception of maintenance that i dont know how or am not strong enough to do myself. Oh, and he is responsible for all things electronic. Clearly I have much more to do than him, but I also take into consideration that he works much longer hours than I do. I think it works out well and neither of us feel like we are burdened with more than our fair share. Since you live in a condo, the indoor/ourdoor split wouldnt work but you could split the indoors similarly,
Another thing that I taught my husband to do is to clean as he cooks. He used to just leave it all for me, and it was a nigthmare. But I find that once I pointed out that he could clean as he went, he was more than happy to do that.....
And lastly - if he is a really messy cooker, maybe on nights when it is his turn to make dinner, you could encourage him to BBQ. I find that is always easier on the clean up than my husbands indoor cooking.
HTH
|
| Posted 4/17/07 12:47 PM |
| |
|
skew
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 6794 total posts
Name:
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
took out the trash, post office and made dinner? wow, i would be impressed not to mention appreciative.
|
| Posted 4/17/07 2:00 PM |
| |
|
kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
Posted by skew
took out the trash, post office and made dinner? wow, i would be impressed not to mention appreciative.
I am appreciate and this was just a vent. My DH is a great husband, but to leave me and giant mess in the kitchen after making dinner (and when I mean mess, I MEAN MESS) was so aggrevating!
|
| Posted 4/17/07 2:06 PM |
| |
|
skew
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 6794 total posts
Name:
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
i woudn't be annoyed at all as that is what i am used to. meaning one person cooks, other cleans up. this is the way it was while growing up as well.
|
| Posted 4/17/07 2:13 PM |
| |
|
angnick
Life is So Wonderful!
Member since 8/06 6663 total posts
Name:
Angela
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
i dont know how or why, but in the last month, dh has really stepped up to the plate.
we are married just over 9 months.
i have to say that for the first 7 i was doing most of the work around the house- cooking, cleaning, garbage, laundry, food shopping- u name it.. and i slowly but surely got sick of it. i mean dh would do the dishes after dinner, but only because i said i would stop cooking for him.
dh gets home about an hour to an hour and a half before me. in this time he was relaxing.. which meant i would get home, start cooking and wouldnt sit down until after 8pm.
i had had enough. so we had talks. many many talks and i spoke my feelings and he spoke his, and we agreed to split most of the tasks. and i have to say he is wonderful.
he starts dinner before i get home and it is just about ready when i get home.
he does the laundry without my telling him
he does the garbage
and he helps me clean when we have to clean..
good luck- start out slow- let him choose a chore that he wants to do.
keep expressing to him that you cant do it alone.
i feel like we are in a totally different relationship than the first 7 months of marriage. it is a blessing and it is wonderful.
|
| Posted 4/17/07 2:13 PM |
| |
|
kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
Posted by skew
i woudn't be annoyed at all as that is what i am used to. meaning one person cooks, other cleans up. this is the way it was while growing up as well.
I was raised this way too. Ok DH made pasta & meatball. He left me to clean:
-the mixing bowl he used
-his bowl from ice cream he had like 2 hours before
-the empty ice cream carton on the counter
-the baking pan for the meatballs (not even in the sink, no on the counter)
-the pasta strainer
-the pasta bowl
-the pasta pot
-the sauce jar EMPTY on the counter
-the sauce pot
-the egg shells, bread crumbs & parm cheese Left OUT
-the empty milk carton on the counter from his cereal hours before
ALL this stuff sat out for about 2 hours. He was home all day. It wasn't just plates and such, it was everything. I spent Sunday scrubbing the kitchen, the fridge, etc to walk home on Monday to a pig stie was so aggrevating.
Does this help you understand a bit now.
Message edited 4/17/2007 2:37:57 PM.
|
| Posted 4/17/07 2:37 PM |
| |
|
angnick
Life is So Wonderful!
Member since 8/06 6663 total posts
Name:
Angela
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
i think he should help clean up too
|
| Posted 4/17/07 2:55 PM |
| |
|
lilacwine
only love...
Member since 5/05 2034 total posts
Name:
<3
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
Posted by kerrycec03
Posted by skew
i woudn't be annoyed at all as that is what i am used to. meaning one person cooks, other cleans up. this is the way it was while growing up as well.
I was raised this way too. Ok DH made pasta & meatball. He left me to clean:
-the mixing bowl he used
-his bowl from ice cream he had like 2 hours before
-the empty ice cream carton on the counter
-the baking pan for the meatballs (not even in the sink, no on the counter)
-the pasta strainer
-the pasta bowl
-the pasta pot
-the sauce jar EMPTY on the counter
-the sauce pot
-the egg shells, bread crumbs & parm cheese Left OUT
-the empty milk carton on the counter from his cereal hours before
ALL this stuff sat out for about 2 hours. He was home all day. It wasn't just plates and such, it was everything. I spent Sunday scrubbing the kitchen, the fridge, etc to walk home on Monday to a pig stie was so aggrevating.
Does this help you understand a bit now.
I think I would have started crying. 
|
| Posted 4/17/07 2:59 PM |
| |
|
kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
thank you!
|
| Posted 4/17/07 3:01 PM |
| |
|
chikita315
Love
Member since 8/06 7945 total posts
Name:
M-lo
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
Posted by kerrycec03
Posted by skew
i woudn't be annoyed at all as that is what i am used to. meaning one person cooks, other cleans up. this is the way it was while growing up as well.
I was raised this way too. Ok DH made pasta & meatball. He left me to clean:
-the mixing bowl he used
-his bowl from ice cream he had like 2 hours before
-the empty ice cream carton on the counter
-the baking pan for the meatballs (not even in the sink, no on the counter)
-the pasta strainer
-the pasta bowl
-the pasta pot
-the sauce jar EMPTY on the counter
-the sauce pot
-the egg shells, bread crumbs & parm cheese Left OUT
-the empty milk carton on the counter from his cereal hours before
ALL this stuff sat out for about 2 hours. He was home all day. It wasn't just plates and such, it was everything. I spent Sunday scrubbing the kitchen, the fridge, etc to walk home on Monday to a pig stie was so aggrevating.
Does this help you understand a bit now.
That's grounds for divorce
|
| Posted 4/17/07 3:21 PM |
| |
|
skew
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 6794 total posts
Name:
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
Posted by kerrycec03
Posted by skew
i woudn't be annoyed at all as that is what i am used to. meaning one person cooks, other cleans up. this is the way it was while growing up as well.
I was raised this way too. Ok DH made pasta & meatball. He left me to clean:
-the mixing bowl he used
-his bowl from ice cream he had like 2 hours before
-the empty ice cream carton on the counter
-the baking pan for the meatballs (not even in the sink, no on the counter)
-the pasta strainer
-the pasta bowl
-the pasta pot
-the sauce jar EMPTY on the counter
-the sauce pot
-the egg shells, bread crumbs & parm cheese Left OUT
-the empty milk carton on the counter from his cereal hours before
ALL this stuff sat out for about 2 hours. He was home all day. It wasn't just plates and such, it was everything. I spent Sunday scrubbing the kitchen, the fridge, etc to walk home on Monday to a pig stie was so aggrevating.
Does this help you understand a bit now.
ok, understandable. i though you meant just the pots/pans and dinnerware. how about introducing him to the RR garbage bowl? everything is thrown into the bowl while cooking and all the contents in the bowl are thrown in the trash when it is full. simple yet great concept. another option is to leave the garbage next to the stove while he is cooking. after he trips over it a few times i am sure he will catch on as to how to use it.
good luck!
|
| Posted 4/17/07 3:42 PM |
| |
|
kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
thanks. I think this weekend I'm going to make a chore list for each of us. Let's see if he got the picture because I was so upset!
I appreciate all of you as well as my DH. He's is such a mama's boy and his Mom did everything for him. Well welcome to the other side...
|
| Posted 4/17/07 3:44 PM |
| |
|
lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
if it makes you feel any better my husband was the same way. You really have to show them how to clean as they cook. Dont worry - he will catch on. I'm sure of it! Especially if you refuse to clean up his mess and make him do it even just once.
|
| Posted 4/17/07 4:20 PM |
| |
|
kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
|
Re: GRRR, DH needs to help more
Posted by lululu
if it makes you feel any better my husband was the same way. You really have to show them how to clean as they cook. Dont worry - he will catch on. I'm sure of it! Especially if you refuse to clean up his mess and make him do it even just once.
yea, I'm def. going to work on it.
|
| Posted 4/17/07 4:21 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: [1] 2 |
