Gender question

Did you honestly care what gender you were having?! I wanted a healthy baby and pregnancy, that's it! I just get so saddened by people who place this huge importance on gender. I don't get it. Wouldn't either be a blessing?! I mean sure in a perfect world having a boy and a girl would be nice, but if not it's a blessing regardless. There are so many people who hear you are having a girl and automatically assume "Oh man you're in for it", that having girls is so much harder, blah blah. I really think it depends on how you were raised (My dh was far worse than I ever was as a teenager)!!! Both genders have their difficulties so it bothers me when people criticize having a certain gender.

I just see so many people struggling to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy that this really bothers me.

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we didn't care about gender and just wanted healthy. I agree its a blessing.

we have joked that whatever we didn't have this time we'll want next time though...

I will say that i dont think i was a good teenager and that i gave my parents a few rough years in there but I am going with the thinking that wont be my child...

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People can't control how they feel, only how they act in response to those feelings.

I did have a gender preference initially insofar as I hoped to one day have a child of that particular gender. Once I actually got pregnant I stopped caring about gender and the only thing on my mind was (and is) having a healthy baby, regardless of gender. I probably still have the slightest preference (as does my DH, but the opposite preference) but we will love our baby whatever gender it is and will be extremely excited either way.

It bothers me more when people make snide comments about one gender being better than the other

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No. With DD I'll admit I was hoping it was a girl..but I didn't really care if it was or wasn't, if that makes sense. I just wanted to know he/she was healthy...

Same for this one. I'd love to have another girl, so I can have "my girls"...but I'd be just as happy with a boy - my SON....

IMO, you don't have a child (1st, 2nd or 12th) to have a BOY or a GIRL, you have a child to have a child, and you graciously, willingly and with open arms and heart accept what is given to you...

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i dont care at all. thats partially why we are team

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As much as I said I didn't care when I first found out I was pregnant, I secretly hoped for a girl, not bc I didn't want a boy but bc I love pink and bows, etc....very silly. We are having a boy and I can't be happier, I am so in love with this little guy that I can't even picture myself with a girl at this point. I think as long as the baby is healthy who cares what it is.

So many people say to me, ohh you have to try for a girl next and I just say "I could care less if I have 5 boys as long as my baby is healthy, it doesn't matter" I'm just happy to be able to experience pregnancy/creating a life

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i didnt care at all - DH wanted a

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I haven't had the same experience as you, but I think that's because we are team green so no one really mentions gender to us much (besides to take a guess on what we are having).People ask me if I have any gut feelings.

I've been asked once if we have a preference, I answered honestly. My gut feeling is it's a girl (My husband is sure it's a boy). I don't have a preference per say, just that I always wanted an older brother so I hoped that a boy would come first. Although, I hope/hoped for our first to be a boy It doesn't mean that a girl would be anything short of perfect too!

It always sort of bugged me pre pregnancy that people would answer I just want a healthy baby. I always wanted to say OBVIOUSLY! It's not necessairly mutually exclusive, why couldn't some people want a boy/girl without also wanting a healthy baby.

HOWEVER, I do get it more and more now. I don't spend my time wishing or hoping for a boy or girl, but rather that everything goes smoothly and we have a healthy baby. I've also realized over time that pregnancy is so fragile and special that gender isn't something I really spend a ton of time thinking about.

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I have no preference at all. My mom wants it to be a girl b/c she has no experience with boys, and truthfully whether this is right or wrong, she worries about higher autism and ADHD diagnoses in boys. DH wants a boy b/c he had 3 brothers and doesn't "get" girls.

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I have two boys.

I never cared about the sex of either of them.

Now, after losing this baby, all I can say is I hope to have a healthy baby someday, I don't care what the sex of the baby is.

I've seen so many people lose babies, so many sick babies, it's a miracle when a healthy baby is born - regardless of the sex IMO

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In my heart of hearts, I truly don't care what the sex of this baby is. I only want a healthy and happy baby. I have one son. My DH has three sons total. He wants a healthy baby first and foremost, but would love a girl. This gives me anxiety because I feel it is a boy. I told him I don't want him to be "disappointed" if it's a boy. He said he won't be disappointed, he wants a healthy baby... but at this point (being that this is his FOURTH child), he would love a girl.

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I think some people do put too much emphasis on gender, without a doubt. However I can understand having a preference especially when you already have DC and you are facing having your last dc.

I mean some people dream of having a girl (as an example) prior to even having kids. They dream of the dresses, prom shopping, wedding dress shopping etc. And when they are having their last DC they have a definite preference to have a girl if htey have all boys prior. While some dream of having boys, and going to baseball games, and dancing with their sons on their wedding day, having someone to carry on a family name etc.

So in some cases, no so much when its your first as much, people are dealing with the end of a dream in a way. And they can't help how they feel and there is nothing wrong with their feelings because deep down they know each child is a blessing and they will love endlessly whatever they are given.

And the whole comment of "oh your in trouble or whatever... You get that with boys too!

Message edited 2/18/2011 12:23:24 PM.

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I don't, especially after my ordeal last weekend. I just want it to be healthy.

But can I just say I am TERRIFIED of having a girl? I have two brothers and a nephew. I also come from a long line of women with depression and anxiety and the thought of my daughter dealing with what I deal with kills me. Not that I wouldn't love a daughter and I'm sure I will get over it but I am afraid of passing down my negative traits.

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Me i could care less!! before this pregnancy i had a chemical, so i am just so grateful to have gotten pregnant again and for the baby to be good and healthy! could care less! would be thrilled no matter what!

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i think it's obvious that everyone wants a healthy baby, but I'm not ashamed to admit that I've always seen myself as a boy mommy. This is boy #2 (and our last child) and I'm walking on air. I'm thrilled to give my son a brother!

To each her own.

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See, what annoys me is when someone asks and I say we don't care and they say Yea ok, everyone has a preference. Then I get defensive, and say well god willing we will have another shot at this, MAYBE just MAYBE we'd have a "it would be nice if..." but in reality all boys all girls IDC! I just want a family, thats OUR preference.

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Nope. not at all.

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I think every mother-to-be hopes for a healthy child but soemtimes you can't help but to have a gender preference.

This is my 2nd pregnancy and I'd be lying if I said I wanted another boy....I want a girl. I wouldn't love my child any less if I end up having another boy. and a healthy baby is still #1 priority, but I just can't help wanting a girl. Now if i'm destined to be the mom of two boys then that's that.

My point is sometimes you can't help feeling this way, but at the end of the day it doesn't matter becaue you know you're going to love your basby no mater what. Are you entitled to have a gender preference?? Yes. Are you entitled to feel a little disappointed if you don't get your preference? Yes. But I think you move on from that because ultimately a healthy baby is what you want above all.

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I of course first and foremost want my baby to be healthy and happy just like my 2 DS's..... and I have NO problem admitting that Im hoping this baby is a girl. This will be our last child and all my life Ive always dreamed of having a little girl of my own. Am I a bad person for wanting the pink and the bows and the princesses? I dont think so. But then again if God intends me to live a life full of only monster trucks and batman then that is what he intended. I will LOVE my new baby just as much as my other 2 without even so much as a second though. Will there be a slight twinge of disappoinment? Im sure there will be. But I still dont think that makes me a bad person!

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I REALLY wanted a girl before I got pregnant. . from about week 1 i KNEW i was having a boy. . I can't say I was not a little disappointed when my Level II said boy but now I REALLY don't care at all and when someone joked about the sono being wrong and it actually being a girl I got upset bc I am so in love with my little boy now!!

I think in the end though of course I don't care and I health is more important than anything else. . if my LO is healthy it could have been a boy or a girl or a girl who wants to be a boy or a boy who wants to be a girl. . . and I try to remember that even though I love dresses and things I could have had a girl who HATED that and wanted to be a lumberjack. .

I think my biggest goal as a parent is to help my child be confident and happy in whoever they are and trying not to have expectations of what that means!

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DH has two daughters already, so I really would love if it's a boy. But, I am going to be just as happy if it's a girl. As long as its healthy, that's all that matters to us.