for those that DID NOT do CIO what method did you use?

Dh is just soo agaisnt this that it has been a month now of one again off agian CIO. I know that is not goo for her.
What other metod can i use? He hates CIO yet has NO other solution .He says CIO cant be healthy....

Message edited 6/26/2007 8:42:20 PM.

Re: for those that DID NOT do CIP what method did you use?

I cant do it either. I dont have any other options or arguments against it but like your dh I just cant do it. Maybe someone who has done it can give some specifics to make people like myself and your dh feel better about doing it.

Re: for those that DID NOT do CIP what method did you use?

We don't use CIO because neither one of us can take it. We follow her lead. Some nights she sleeps through, some nights she doesn't. On the nights she doesn't, I'll go in or DH goes in and rubs her back and put on some music and some other nights she comes into bed with us. I do believe that she should always go to bed in "her" bed but I can't blame her if she needs to be cuddled in the middle of the night because he daddy needs that too so I know where she gets it from.

Re: for those that DID NOT do CIP what method did you use?

We couldn't do CIO, plus we don't think it would have worked with Gianna's personality.

I used a combo of things from the books "The No Cry Sleep solution" and the "The baby whisperer". Plus DH and I agreed we would never let her really cry-i mean tears, boogies, top of her lungs crying for more than 5 minutes. Whining, whimpering are sometthing totally different though.

I think the key is to pick something you both agree on so there is consistency=which is key with any sleep training.

Good luck

Re: for those that DID NOT do CIO what method did you use?

Posted by sweetness

We couldn't do CIO, plus we don't think it would have worked with Gianna's personality.

I used a combo of things from the books "The No Cry Sleep solution" and the "The baby whisperer". Plus DH and I agreed we would never let her really cry-i mean tears, boogies, top of her lungs crying for more than 5 minutes. Whining, whimpering are sometthing totally different though.

I think the key is to pick something you both agree on so there is consistency=which is key with any sleep training.

Good luck

Re: for those that DID NOT do CIO what method did you use?

I don't know...I have a stupid question. this is in no way judging and every baby on the planet is different...but when and why do people CIO?

Is it to get a set bedtime? I honestly don't know why it's done or when it's done. I think I am missing the big picture


We eat, bath, book, then he nurses, usually he falls asleep...sometimes he doesn't and I put him on the floor with toys and reset. He will play, I will do dishes, then go back to him and either lay down with him or put him in crib with mobile on while I fold laundry..then he usually falls asleep.

If he isn't budging and DH is home, I will put him in stroller and walk a bit.

So, do people CIO because kid won't sleep on first attempt? or they just won't sleep at all?

sorry to highjack

Message edited 6/26/2007 9:04:12 PM.

Re: for those that DID NOT do CIO what method did you use?

i think CIo is to get them to learn to self soothe and be ale to go to sleep without help( rocking, feeding, laying down with mom or dad)

Re: for those that DID NOT do CIO what method did you use?

Re: for those that DID NOT do CIO what method did you use?

Well, to answer Janice's question as to why people do CIO, I will answer based on my own experience. My daughter is strong-willed and independent. Nothing was working to get her to go to sleep, not rocking, not rubbing her back, not playing more or turning on a mobile or a radio. It all irritated her. She just wanted to be left alone, so we left her alone and two nights later, she started putting herself to sleep every, single night. She just needed to do that on her own. I'm not saying we don't snuggle before bedtime, but she's like me, when it's time to sleep, it's time to sleep, and she just didn't want all that other fluff.
As for CIO in general, it made a lot of sense to me when I read Ferber's book. You're not using crying as a tool to get them to sleep, you're using sleep associations to help them sleep through the night. For Ava, if she fell asleep with me rubbing her back, then woke in the middle of the night, then she'd need that same routine to go back to sleep. So, if she goes to bed by herself at night, then when she inevitably wakes between sleep cycles, like all babies do, then she will not think much of it and just roll over and go back to sleep.
The point of CIO isn't that they cry every night. Ava never cries at bedtime anymore, just those two nights, and maybe a couple of other nights over the last 5 months.

Anyway, sorry to hijack your thread, Noel.
As for you and DH, the solution is consistency. Without it, NOTHING will work. So I suggest finding some good books on different methods and reading them. But also, spend a few days really watching her and seeing what it is that works and doesn't work for you guys.

Re: for those that DID NOT do CIO what method did you use?

Lately I have been trying to break DS of the habit of falling asleep on the boob. I'll put him down in his crib drowsy, but not asleep. Sometimes he just rolls around and plays -- I'll kiss him goodnight and walk away, sometimes he fusses -- I'll rub him and comfort him, but if he really starts crying I'll pick him up and comfort him and put him back when he is calm -- I'll do this over and over again until he rolls over and goes to sleep.

I've only been doing this for a couple of days, but it seems to be working

Re: for those that DID NOT do CIO what method did you use?

Re: for those that DID NOT do CIO what method did you use?

The "method" we use is diinner, bath, stories x 5 , play, nurse, play, nurse, dance to baby einstein CD, play some more and eventually she passes out ..she then sleeps in her crib for about 3 hours and by midnight she is in our bed kicking both of us in the head!!

Is it ideal? No but its all we have for now as we could not and would not do CIO.

Re: for those that DID NOT do CIO what method did you use?

thanks Rachel!

Ava and josh definitely are different personalities. I am much more Ava.

Re: for those that DID NOT do CIO what method did you use?

Re: for those that DID NOT do CIO what method did you use?

I was just reading this again. Honestly, No Cry Sleep Solution didn't really work for me because I was already doing what they said. Steven was always a pretty good sleeper, but he has his days.

I highly recommend "Baby Wisperer." It is all about reading your baby. They have one for toddlers, too, which I think is more for you since DD is a little older.

I totally agree with Rachel in that it is all about consistancy. If you are going to let her cry, then let her cry. If you are not going to let her cry, then don't at all. But to let her cry then to go in and pick her up 10 minutes later is not helping anyone.

I believe that all of these "methods" are based on the same principle. It is like Rachel said, sleep associations. I have read all of the methods and they ALL have that in common. So try to really stick to your routine. Steven knows that once the mobile music goes on, it's time to calm down. When the music stops, mommy leaves the room and baby sleeps. It's worked for us.

Good Luck

Re: for those that DID NOT do CIO what method did you use?

I don't particularly like the idea of CIO. Don't get me wrong I do let her cry at times... but early on I established a bedtime routine and she took to it and shes been sleeping through the night since 3 mo. Now, if she is up past 8 she can not keep her eyes open. She sleeps from 7:30 /8 until 7 am. Sometimes 6:30am. She has her nights when she might ge tup but her paci does the trick or she just finds it in the crib and puts it in her mouth and shes off again. I also put her down while she' s atill awake and she goes to sleep without a peep. She was a verrrrry stubborn infant and woke ever 1 1/2 and fought sleeping. She also had her days and nights mixed up but I just took it upon myself to fix it. So starting around 7/ 7;15 every night I read to her, give her a bath, bottle, bed.

Re: for those that DID NOT do CIO what method did you use?

Well I didnt do CIO for the first year, I would rock to sleep, transfer, and then when he woke a few hours later, I would have to go in and rock him back to sleep again.. etc... etc... all friggin night long. Some nights he would wake at like midnight, and it would take until 4am for him to fall back asleep. This of course was on nights when I had work the next day.

At one year old, I lost it and decided I had enuf. So, unfortunatley, I still do rock him to sleep initially.. but when he woke up at say 11pm or 12am.. i would just let him cry. By that time his bottle was digested so he couldnt force himself to vomit. (Which he frequently does) So I just lowered the volume on the baby monitor, and went in my basement away from the crying, and let him rip. He cried.. (more whining, whimpering) for like 45 min, then gave up and fell asleep. The next night, he cried again but for only 20 min, and then the 3rd night he didnt wake at all. Or if he did, he managed to put himself back to sleep.

And that was it. There are nights when he falls off the wagon, like when he was teething... or sick.. then I had to go in when he cried in the middle of the night. I couldnt let him cry and be in pain. But then you usually have to do it all over again when they get better.

Good luck.. it is tough, i'll drink to that!

Re: for those that DID NOT do CIO what method did you use?

Posted by Janice

I don't know...I have a stupid question. this is in no way judging and every baby on the planet is different...but when and why do people CIO?

Is it to get a set bedtime? I honestly don't know why it's done or when it's done. I think I am missing the big picture


We eat, bath, book, then he nurses, usually he falls asleep...sometimes he doesn't and I put him on the floor with toys and reset. He will play, I will do dishes, then go back to him and either lay down with him or put him in crib with mobile on while I fold laundry..then he usually falls asleep.

If he isn't budging and DH is home, I will put him in stroller and walk a bit.

So, do people CIO because kid won't sleep on first attempt? or they just won't sleep at all?

sorry to highjack

Re: for those that DID NOT do CIO what method did you use?

Re: for those that DID NOT do CIO what method did you use?

im going to respond bc i think a lot of women feel the way i felt- i refused to let my DC cry it out, im more of a love your child to sleep...i had heard a lot about people letting their DC CIO, and i was like, HELL NO!! i will NOT!!! then came 6 months of not sleeping, waking up 3 times a nite to nurse her or rock her or get her back to sleep (and she was a thumb sucker!!!), i decided to hear my sister out on the CIO method....i braced myself for the worst, what am i doing to my poor child, she is needed me right now!! but it wasnt as bad as i thought. i progressively waited it out...the first nite, i waited 3 min, 5 min, 5, 10 10 10, the second nite 5, 10, 10, 13, 13.....etc....but as it turned out, everytime i went in to her and laid her back down, reminding her it was nite nite time, the sun is not out telling us it is time to play, sitll nite nite, mommy loves you, mommy loves you, ill see u in the morning....she was actually pretty okay and didnt cry for more than an hour the first time on the first nite (making me not have to go in too much, bc once they stop crying, you have to reset your clock, and even if DD wasnt crying for 14 min and then she started to again, i had to wait 15, and it ended up me not having to go in too much. and yes, the second nite, piece of cake, and the 3rd nite====nothing!!! a solid 10 hours of sleep!

i think the key is realizing you arent letting ur DC cry themselves to sleep, ur letting ur DC realize they can put themselves to sleep on their own....it is better for them, to get such good, uninterrupted sleep.....and trust me, when i have a second child, i wont think twice about using this method. hannah has been sleeping thru the nite for 6 months now....and for the last 3 she sleeps for a solid 12 hours straight (and ive been lucky the last 2 weeks- she goes down bt 930 and 10, and wakes around 10!!!!)

so good luck, to all women who read this response....CIO is not all it is branded to be.....