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Kris
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 1051 total posts
Name:
Kristine
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$$ for report cards?
Just wondering if anyone does this. This is our first year for report cards with grades on it. Just wondering if you all reward your kids with $$ for a good report card? I am leaning towards a special treat/day out instead of cash.
I never received more than a "good job" when I got a good report card as a child. Just curious what others will do.
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Posted 10/26/10 1:30 PM  |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: $$ for report cards?
No. I didn't get cash for my report card. Our friends did but my dad used to say it was a reward doing well was a reward in itself. No that doesn't make sense to a 12 year old who just brought home straight As...but eventually you do get the concept.
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| Posted 10/26/10 2:00 PM |
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Kate
*****
Member since 5/05 7557 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: $$ for report cards?
I used to get $1 per A and a $5 bonus for an all A report card. I might do the same for my kids.
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| Posted 10/26/10 2:07 PM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: $$ for report cards?
We always give modest rewards for exceptional report cards. Things like.. let them pick dinner for a week, let them choose the family game activity, take them to a movie or a dinner out with us or extra game time or we'll do "King for a Day" - stuff like that.
This year I did offer $30 dollars to anyone who brings home a PERFECT report card. And by perfect I mean ALL 4's with no exceptions.. not even a single 3. And for behavior all S's. I'm not a fan of monetizing grades but the boys suggested it so I went with it. We'll see how it goes!
Message edited 10/26/2010 2:29:24 PM.
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| Posted 10/26/10 2:28 PM |
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justmefornow
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/08 859 total posts
Name:
n
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Re: $$ for report cards?
I don't expect perfect report cards or grades. I think positive reinforcement is good with anything, but I don't think I will give money. Plus my kids are already in very competative programs and we all feel the pressure.
After the PTC I'll probably take them out for ice cream because of all the nice things their teachers had to say about them and how hard they try to behave and do well in school! They are only in K and 2nd grade!!
I am still trying for figure out incentives/rewards for things that they are "supposed" to do! I found myself giving stickers for small things like picking up toys and brushing teeth
 
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| Posted 10/26/10 2:58 PM |
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mathteach
Roll Tide!
Member since 8/08 3169 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: $$ for report cards?
Posted by rojerono
We always give modest rewards for exceptional report cards. Things like.. let them pick dinner for a week, let them choose the family game activity, take them to a movie or a dinner out with us or extra game time or we'll do "King for a Day" - stuff like that.
Same.
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| Posted 10/26/10 3:22 PM |
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dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..
Member since 1/06 14917 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: $$ for report cards?
Posted by mathteach
Posted by rojerono
We always give modest rewards for exceptional report cards. Things like.. let them pick dinner for a week, let them choose the family game activity, take them to a movie or a dinner out with us or extra game time or we'll do "King for a Day" - stuff like that.
Same.
DD is only in prek but when she is old enough and starts getting report cards this is what I will do. not cash.
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| Posted 10/26/10 6:14 PM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: $$ for report cards?
No. Going to school is my childrens job in order to one day become productive members of society. I expect them to do their best and to do well. They do not get "rewarded" for good grades. Nor will they get punished for bad grades (knocking wood, no bad grades yet, but my oldest is only in 2nd grade). But, if and when that time comes, bad grades will result in less TV time and more studying time.
I do not agree with rewarding my children for something thats expected of them.
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| Posted 10/26/10 7:50 PM |
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justmefornow
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/08 859 total posts
Name:
n
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Re: $$ for report cards?
Posted by MrsGmomof3
No. Going to school is my childrens job in order to one day become productive members of society. I expect them to do their best and to do well. They do not get "rewarded" for good grades. Nor will they get punished for bad grades (knocking wood, no bad grades yet, but my oldest is only in 2nd grade). But, if and when that time comes, bad grades will result in less TV time and more studying time.
I do not agree with rewarding my children for something thats expected of them.
So what do you reward for? As I said in my other post, I feel the same, they shouldn't be rewarded for things they "should" just be doing? But what are those things? I'm just asking cause I'm trying to figure that out myself LOL.
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| Posted 10/26/10 9:04 PM |
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CunningOne
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Member since 5/05 26975 total posts
Name:
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Re: $$ for report cards?
DS got a report card last year... we told him keep up the good work and took him out for dinner/ice-cream. We didn't do money.
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| Posted 10/26/10 9:55 PM |
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BellaRock
I am all the Me I will ever Be
Member since 5/06 9746 total posts
Name:
She who shall remain nameless
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Re: $$ for report cards?
Posted by mathteach
Posted by rojerono
We always give modest rewards for exceptional report cards. Things like.. let them pick dinner for a week, let them choose the family game activity, take them to a movie or a dinner out with us or extra game time or we'll do "King for a Day" - stuff like that.
Same.
We do the same in our house as well.
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| Posted 10/26/10 10:11 PM |
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Re: $$ for report cards?
I take her out for dinner and let her stay up later that weekend. If there is something she wants in particular, I'll buy it for her. I would have no problem giving $ if she wanted that over the others. I'm all for rewards when it comes to hard work...and school doesn't come easy for her.
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| Posted 10/27/10 12:11 AM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: $$ for report cards?
Posted by justmefornow
Posted by MrsGmomof3
No. Going to school is my childrens job in order to one day become productive members of society. I expect them to do their best and to do well. They do not get "rewarded" for good grades. Nor will they get punished for bad grades (knocking wood, no bad grades yet, but my oldest is only in 2nd grade). But, if and when that time comes, bad grades will result in less TV time and more studying time.
I do not agree with rewarding my children for something thats expected of them.
So what do you reward for? As I said in my other post, I feel the same, they shouldn't be rewarded for things they "should" just be doing? But what are those things? I'm just asking cause I'm trying to figure that out myself LOL.
They get small treats (like a special dinner out, or a small toy they want) when they go above and beyond... for example, if they are "caught being a good citizen" in school, and come home with a letter from the teacher saying so. IMO, I would rather "reward" them for being exceptional citizens in school, helping out another student, being chosen to be an ambassador for the children in the self-containted special ed class etc (and yes, my kids school does these things).
Good grades are expected, exemplary behavior and going above and beyond, are like the cherry on the sundae. They are obviously expected to behave themselves, but its when they go ABOVE whats expected that they get rewarded.
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| Posted 10/27/10 8:28 AM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: $$ for report cards?
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Good grades are expected, exemplary behavior and going above and beyond, are like the cherry on the sundae. They are obviously expected to behave themselves, but its when they go ABOVE whats expected that they get rewarded.
There is a book "Punished By Rewards" that you might be interested in. It aligns very closely with your philosophy on rewarding children for expected behavior.
I appreciate that philosophy deeply – and have a great deal of admiration for people who are able to follow it. We do so to a very limited degree.. but my personal nature is to be effusive and excited by every little thing so it doesn’t really work for our family.
I think it's also a matter of what is actually expected. When drawing comparisons so to work, I think of my employee reviews. I EXPECT my team to get "Meets Requirements". When they get mostly Exceeds or Exceptional - I give them raises and bonuses. The more exceptional they are - the better the bonuses. So translating that to my kids.. I 'expect' them to be 'meeting requirements for grade level' - which would mean mostly 2's and 3's. I get happy when they get 3's and 4's only - because that's beyond expectation. If they get all 4's.. well that's really exceptional in my book!
I don’t know – I guess there really isn’t a right or wrong answer to how best to react to report cards. It’s all a matter of what you are comfortable with!
Message edited 10/27/2010 9:51:06 AM.
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| Posted 10/27/10 9:46 AM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: $$ for report cards?
Posted by rojerono
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Good grades are expected, exemplary behavior and going above and beyond, are like the cherry on the sundae. They are obviously expected to behave themselves, but its when they go ABOVE whats expected that they get rewarded.
There is a book "Punished By Rewards" that you might be interested in. It aligns very closely with your philosophy on rewarding children for expected behavior.
I appreciate that philosophy deeply – and have a great deal of admiration for people who are able to follow it. We do so to a very limited degree.. but my personal nature is to be effusive and excited by every little thing so it doesn’t really work for our family.
I think it's also a matter of what is actually expected. When drawing comparisons so to work, I think of my employee reviews. I EXPECT my team to get "Meets Requirements". When they get mostly Exceeds or Exceptional - I give them raises and bonuses. The more exceptional they are - the better the bonuses. So translating that to my kids.. I 'expect' them to be 'meeting requirements for grade level' - which would mean mostly 2's and 3's. I get happy when they get 3's and 4's only - because that's beyond expectation. If they get all 4's.. well that's really exceptional in my book!
I don’t know – I guess there really isn’t a right or wrong answer to how best to react to report cards. It’s all a matter of what you are comfortable with!
Oh boy, I have come off like some psycho militaristic mom and thats SO not what I am trying to say here. If my child comes home with a test that he got a good grade on (IMO, between and 80% and 100%) I tell him how proud I am of him and give him a hug or high five or something along those lines. Its NOT EVER ignored because thats "what I expect". If he is struggling, I help him and would NEVER be that mom who says "What, you only got a 95, where are the other 5 points?" Thats just insane.
I do not feel that he should get a treat for each and every single "good grade" he gets, because IMO, that makes the treats not as special. My kids know that I want them to succeed in school and I DO gush over their good grades, I just do not believe in giving them a tangible "reward" for them.
I DO believe in giving them treats for EXCEPTIONAL behavior. Hey, if my kid comes home with straight A's, I am taking him out for ice cream, to me, thats EXEMPLARY. But each and every single good grade? No. and cash for a good report card? never.
Message edited 10/27/2010 10:39:28 AM.
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| Posted 10/27/10 10:37 AM |
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justmefornow
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/08 859 total posts
Name:
n
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Re: $$ for report cards?
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Posted by rojerono
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Good grades are expected, exemplary behavior and going above and beyond, are like the cherry on the sundae. They are obviously expected to behave themselves, but its when they go ABOVE whats expected that they get rewarded.
There is a book "Punished By Rewards" that you might be interested in. It aligns very closely with your philosophy on rewarding children for expected behavior.
I appreciate that philosophy deeply – and have a great deal of admiration for people who are able to follow it. We do so to a very limited degree.. but my personal nature is to be effusive and excited by every little thing so it doesn’t really work for our family.
I think it's also a matter of what is actually expected. When drawing comparisons so to work, I think of my employee reviews. I EXPECT my team to get "Meets Requirements". When they get mostly Exceeds or Exceptional - I give them raises and bonuses. The more exceptional they are - the better the bonuses. So translating that to my kids.. I 'expect' them to be 'meeting requirements for grade level' - which would mean mostly 2's and 3's. I get happy when they get 3's and 4's only - because that's beyond expectation. If they get all 4's.. well that's really exceptional in my book!
I don’t know – I guess there really isn’t a right or wrong answer to how best to react to report cards. It’s all a matter of what you are comfortable with!
Oh boy, I have come off like some psycho militaristic mom and thats SO not what I am trying to say here. If my child comes home with a test that he got a good grade on (IMO, between and 80% and 100%) I tell him how proud I am of him and give him a hug or high five or something along those lines. Its NOT EVER ignored because thats "what I expect". If he is struggling, I help him and would NEVER be that mom who says "What, you only got a 95, where are the other 5 points?" Thats just insane.
I do not feel that he should get a treat for each and every single "good grade" he gets, because IMO, that makes the treats not as special. My kids know that I want them to succeed in school and I DO gush over their good grades, I just do not believe in giving them a tangible "reward" for them.
I DO believe in giving them treats for EXCEPTIONAL behavior. Hey, if my kid comes home with straight A's, I am taking him out for ice cream, to me, thats EXEMPLARY. But each and every single good grade? No. and cash for a good report card? never.
I see what you are saying here. This is along the lines of one of my pet peeves of parents praising every little thing a child does (example: 1st time parents of a toddler, saying "good job" every other minute).
Exceptional and above and beyond is a good rule of thumb with rewards I guess, especially as they get older.
For me, I struggle with daily things like getting the kids to be ready in the morning, brushing teeth, cleaning up toys. People have suggested stickers and rewards for them but I find it unneccesary for these small things. My DDs have already experienced cavities and novacaine shots from improper oral hygiene LOL so hopefully they will eventually just learn!
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| Posted 10/27/10 11:32 AM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: $$ for report cards?
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Oh boy, I have come off like some psycho militaristic mom and thats SO not what I am trying to say here.
Nah.. you didn't come off insane AT ALL! I completely get what you are saying and appreciate it. I think you sound totally normal and that you have a solid philosophy that works for your family!! 
I feel like I may come off as permissive or overly-indulgent because I am willing to allow the kids to collaborate on what kinds of motivations can get them to achieve more.. but it works for us for now!
ETA: The book I recommended is really a very good book - not at all an attempt to identify you as a militant! I actually read it and still apply many of the principles in it. I'm actually working toward 'dangling the carrot' less with my boys AND with my employees!
Message edited 10/27/2010 12:52:19 PM.
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| Posted 10/27/10 12:46 PM |
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Re: $$ for report cards?
Thanks for the book rec J. I'm going to look into it.
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| Posted 10/29/10 12:32 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: $$ for report cards?
I think we will be paying josh for grades.
I once read that chores around the house is expected...it is their living area and they are pitching in. Being trained to know to respect where they live. no money for chores.
but school is their job. extra effort and overtime into their schoolwork should be rewarded.
I got all A's as a kid to avoid punishment. I would have much rather gotten all A's to be rewarded. 2 of my sisters had such bad grades anxiety growing up. I mean, in the long run, it worked. One was valedictorian and both were awarded oos scholarships...but maybe it would have also worked if we saw report cards as a great day instead of a thank god it all worked out day.
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| Posted 10/29/10 7:05 AM |
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Kathy
LIF Adolescent
Member since 7/05 718 total posts
Name:
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Re: $$ for report cards?
They get "You did an excellent job - we are so proud of you" and they are happy with that! ;) I don't do rewards for school work.
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| Posted 10/29/10 10:45 AM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: $$ for report cards?
Posted by Janice
I got all A's as a kid to avoid punishment. I would have much rather gotten all A's to be rewarded. 2 of my sisters had such bad grades anxiety growing up.
my mom was also a punisher if I did not do well, and I struggled in school. I feel that punishing for grades does NOTHING. Being punished for failing a test did NOT make me get 100% the next time, it just made me anxious and I still failed because I did not understand the material. Just as her telling me "I will give you money if you do well" did not make me do well. She never offered to help me succeed, just punished. I swear, I was grounded from 7th grade till 9th grade for my grades
However, as my whole point was before, I will never punish or yell for bad grades, I will try to help my child to do better and figure out WHY they did not succeed. I will also not be giving out tangible "rewards" for doing well either though. A "AWESOME! I am SUPER proud of you!!!!" with a hug to follow works wonders as well IMO (probably because I was RARELY on the receiving end of that)
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| Posted 10/29/10 11:12 AM |
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