| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 |
DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
|
Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to
So tacky. The only thing that would be acceptable is IF people asked if they can bring something you told them what to bring, like yes please bring and app or a dessert or drinks--NEVER should anyone ask for cash. So weird lol
|
Posted 6/23/17 10:18 AM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
|
Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to
Posted by DiamondGirl
So tacky. The only thing that would be acceptable is IF people asked if they can bring something you told them what to bring, like yes please bring and app or a dessert or drinks--NEVER should anyone ask for cash. So weird lol
In her case she already asked the OP to bring something- a $100 worth of infused vodka!
And now she has the balls to ask for $40 cash on top of that!
Like I said earlier, I would bring the vodka, and say, "it cost me $100 to make this, so there is my $40 contribution. You owe me $60 now."
|
| Posted 6/23/17 10:20 AM |
| |
|
DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
|
Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by DiamondGirl
So tacky. The only thing that would be acceptable is IF people asked if they can bring something you told them what to bring, like yes please bring and app or a dessert or drinks--NEVER should anyone ask for cash. So weird lol
In her case she already asked the OP to bring something- a $100 worth of infused vodka!
And now she has the balls to ask for $40 cash on top of that!
Like I said earlier, I would bring the vodka, and say, "it cost me $100 to make this, so there is my $40 contribution. You owe me $60 now."
YESSSS LMAO
|
| Posted 6/23/17 10:28 AM |
| |
|
CSK
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/11 892 total posts
Name:
|
Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to
Ok so I commented, everyone commented, its weird and seems tacky.
However, as a final take. Is this a real friend of yours or a pseudo friend?
If its a real friend, call them up and be like, saw your text, whats the deal?
I feel people who do tacky things don't know that they're being tacky. I'm not saying you should start a huge thing over it, but may be its worth a phone call to either get an understanding or set them straight.
I certainly put my foot in my mouth at times and maybe do something stupid. I hope at least some of my friends would be like "dude WTF is that, you shouldn't be saying/doing that" I'd rather have my friend tell me I'm being tacky then to have all my friends think it
|
| Posted 6/23/17 10:29 AM |
| |
|
BigB
C & J are 10!
Member since 6/05 5914 total posts
Name:
Stacey
|
Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to
I really feel that if you can't really host/pay for the entire thing, then don't have the party. I think it is tacky.
We throw two big parties a year and everyone always brings something, even though I ask them not too because I wind up with way too much read wine that just piles up.
I am also a control freak and like to know what I have in my house and what I am serving my guests.
Even when I had a medium over this past March, I only asked folks to bring desert if they wanted to because I got roped into serving dinner and it wasn't really in the budget that month.
|
| Posted 6/23/17 10:42 AM |
| |
|
Laura1976
Member since 5/05 5754 total posts
Name:
Laura
|
Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to
Posted by CSK
Ok so I commented, everyone commented, its weird and seems tacky.
However, as a final take. Is this a real friend of yours or a pseudo friend?
If its a real friend, call them up and be like, saw your text, whats the deal?
I feel people who do tacky things don't know that they're being tacky. I'm not saying you should start a huge thing over it, but may be its worth a phone call to either get an understanding or set them straight.
I certainly put my foot in my mouth at times and maybe do something stupid. I hope at least some of my friends would be like "dude WTF is that, you shouldn't be saying/doing that" I'd rather have my friend tell me I'm being tacky then to have all my friends think it
Super close friend!
|
| Posted 6/23/17 10:49 AM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to UPDATED
Posted by Laura1976
Posted by CSK
Ok so I commented, everyone commented, its weird and seems tacky.
However, as a final take. Is this a real friend of yours or a pseudo friend?
If its a real friend, call them up and be like, saw your text, whats the deal?
I feel people who do tacky things don't know that they're being tacky. I'm not saying you should start a huge thing over it, but may be its worth a phone call to either get an understanding or set them straight.
I certainly put my foot in my mouth at times and maybe do something stupid. I hope at least some of my friends would be like "dude WTF is that, you shouldn't be saying/doing that" I'd rather have my friend tell me I'm being tacky then to have all my friends think it
Super close friend!
I would ask her what's up then.
I love how judgy everyone is, maybe something came up and she doesn't want to cancel the party so she asked for some help
Message edited 6/23/2017 10:59:07 AM.
|
| Posted 6/23/17 10:58 AM |
| |
|
Laura1976
Member since 5/05 5754 total posts
Name:
Laura
|
Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to UPDATED
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by Laura1976
Posted by CSK
Ok so I commented, everyone commented, its weird and seems tacky.
However, as a final take. Is this a real friend of yours or a pseudo friend?
If its a real friend, call them up and be like, saw your text, whats the deal?
I feel people who do tacky things don't know that they're being tacky. I'm not saying you should start a huge thing over it, but may be its worth a phone call to either get an understanding or set them straight.
I certainly put my foot in my mouth at times and maybe do something stupid. I hope at least some of my friends would be like "dude WTF is that, you shouldn't be saying/doing that" I'd rather have my friend tell me I'm being tacky then to have all my friends think it
Super close friend!
I would ask her what's up then.
I love how judgy everyone is, maybe something came up and she doesn't want to cancel the party so she asked for some help
Nothing financially has come up, for sure! She even added a dj to the mix which is ridiculous and so unnecessary.
|
| Posted 6/23/17 11:02 AM |
| |
|
NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
|
Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to UPDATED
Posted by Laura1976
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by Laura1976
Posted by CSK
Ok so I commented, everyone commented, its weird and seems tacky.
However, as a final take. Is this a real friend of yours or a pseudo friend?
If its a real friend, call them up and be like, saw your text, whats the deal?
I feel people who do tacky things don't know that they're being tacky. I'm not saying you should start a huge thing over it, but may be its worth a phone call to either get an understanding or set them straight.
I certainly put my foot in my mouth at times and maybe do something stupid. I hope at least some of my friends would be like "dude WTF is that, you shouldn't be saying/doing that" I'd rather have my friend tell me I'm being tacky then to have all my friends think it
Super close friend!
I would ask her what's up then.
I love how judgy everyone is, maybe something came up and she doesn't want to cancel the party so she asked for some help
Nothing financially has come up, for sure! She even added a dj to the mix which is ridiculous and so unnecessary.
Maybe she's diabetic.
|
| Posted 6/23/17 11:05 AM |
| |
|
lightblue
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 2249 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to UPDATED
If she is hosting the party then yes I think its tacky to ask people to cover their share, however, if this is a party that people are kind of putting together and just using her house to host it at then I don't think its unreasonable for everyone to contribute. My BIL's mother hosts a HUGE 4th of July celebration at her house each year, I can only imagine how much it costs... but she hasn't gotten rid of it because it seems now their family/friends expect it now each year. I'm sure if she said it was getting to be too much for her to host they would willingly chip in.
|
| Posted 6/23/17 11:06 AM |
| |
|
PearlJamChick
No one sings like you anymore.
Member since 7/10 9264 total posts
Name:
Petticoated Swashbuckler
|
Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to UPDATED
That is some tacky shit right there.
|
| Posted 6/23/17 11:23 AM |
| |
|
LI2VA
Love my life!!
Member since 11/05 3125 total posts
Name:
Melissa
|
Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to UPDATED
You said she's done this in years past... is this the first time she's asking for money?
|
| Posted 6/23/17 11:25 AM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to UPDATED
Posted by Laura1976
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by Laura1976
Posted by CSK
Ok so I commented, everyone commented, its weird and seems tacky.
However, as a final take. Is this a real friend of yours or a pseudo friend?
If its a real friend, call them up and be like, saw your text, whats the deal?
I feel people who do tacky things don't know that they're being tacky. I'm not saying you should start a huge thing over it, but may be its worth a phone call to either get an understanding or set them straight.
I certainly put my foot in my mouth at times and maybe do something stupid. I hope at least some of my friends would be like "dude WTF is that, you shouldn't be saying/doing that" I'd rather have my friend tell me I'm being tacky then to have all my friends think it
Super close friend!
I would ask her what's up then.
I love how judgy everyone is, maybe something came up and she doesn't want to cancel the party so she asked for some help
Nothing financially has come up, for sure! She even added a dj to the mix which is ridiculous and so unnecessary.
LOL. Ok I'm done, I felt bad, now I don't
|
| Posted 6/23/17 11:30 AM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to UPDATED
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Laura1976
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by Laura1976
Posted by CSK
Ok so I commented, everyone commented, its weird and seems tacky.
However, as a final take. Is this a real friend of yours or a pseudo friend?
If its a real friend, call them up and be like, saw your text, whats the deal?
I feel people who do tacky things don't know that they're being tacky. I'm not saying you should start a huge thing over it, but may be its worth a phone call to either get an understanding or set them straight.
I certainly put my foot in my mouth at times and maybe do something stupid. I hope at least some of my friends would be like "dude WTF is that, you shouldn't be saying/doing that" I'd rather have my friend tell me I'm being tacky then to have all my friends think it
Super close friend!
I would ask her what's up then.
I love how judgy everyone is, maybe something came up and she doesn't want to cancel the party so she asked for some help
Nothing financially has come up, for sure! She even added a dj to the mix which is ridiculous and so unnecessary.
Maybe she's diabetic.
See below, I gave up, I just felt bad
|
| Posted 6/23/17 11:31 AM |
| |
|
Aries14
Can't plan life...
Member since 8/08 2860 total posts
Name:
|
Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to UPDATED
am I the only one that has no problem with this? I would gladly pay $40 for someone else to host and throw a big fun end of the year party for the kids. I would probably pay the $40 and still offer to make and bring things! At the end of the day - I spend more than that bringing my kids to an hour and half movie.... I think the party sounds fun and I think its a good idea for people to all chip in to help the host out. You also don't know that you and 9 others were the ONLY ones asked. Maybe she split up the group texts so people wouldn't receive 40 respones
Message edited 6/23/2017 1:10:07 PM.
|
| Posted 6/23/17 1:09 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to UPDATED
Posted by Aries14
am I the only one that has no problem with this? I would gladly pay $40 for someone else to host and throw a big fun end of the year party for the kids. I would probably pay the $40 and still offer to make and bring things! At the end of the day - I spend more than that bringing my kids to an hour and half movie.... I think the party sounds fun and I think its a good idea for people to all chip in to help the host out. You also don't know that you and 9 others were the ONLY ones asked. Maybe she split up the group texts so people wouldn't receive 40 respones
I don't either
|
| Posted 6/23/17 1:16 PM |
| |
|
NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
|
Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to UPDATED
Posted by Aries14
am I the only one that has no problem with this? I would gladly pay $40 for someone else to host and throw a big fun end of the year party for the kids. I would probably pay the $40 and still offer to make and bring things! At the end of the day - I spend more than that bringing my kids to an hour and half movie.... I think the party sounds fun and I think its a good idea for people to all chip in to help the host out. You also don't know that you and 9 others were the ONLY ones asked. Maybe she split up the group texts so people wouldn't receive 40 respones
If it was agreed to ahead of time, like when the party was being discussed, yes I would be fine with it.
And if I hadn't already spent $100 to make an infused vodka the hostess requested.
|
| Posted 6/23/17 1:24 PM |
| |
|
Aries14
Can't plan life...
Member since 8/08 2860 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to UPDATED
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Aries14
am I the only one that has no problem with this? I would gladly pay $40 for someone else to host and throw a big fun end of the year party for the kids. I would probably pay the $40 and still offer to make and bring things! At the end of the day - I spend more than that bringing my kids to an hour and half movie.... I think the party sounds fun and I think its a good idea for people to all chip in to help the host out. You also don't know that you and 9 others were the ONLY ones asked. Maybe she split up the group texts so people wouldn't receive 40 respones
If it was agreed to ahead of time, like when the party was being discussed, yes I would be fine with it.
And if I hadn't already spent $100 to make an infused vodka the hostess requested.
I mean, yeah - I think it could have been handled better.. but it sounds like they gave a heads up with 2 texts. Its not like they showed up to the party and then was asked for the money. I don't know - I just really see nothing wrong with it. The host is doing all the planning and work and all the bs I hate doing with having a party - and my kids get to have a blast... I honestly see noting wrong with paying the money or being asked to chip in for it. And it was IMO asked in advance
|
| Posted 6/23/17 1:33 PM |
| |
|
Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
|
Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to UPDATED
If you're going to ask for a "contribution" per family it needs to be mentioned in the original invite so that people can factor that into their decision. I think it's a perfectly reasonable request, but she handled it all wrong.
And don't ask anyone to bring food or drink. That's just obnoxious.
|
| Posted 6/23/17 2:03 PM |
| |
|
bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
|
Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to UPDATED
It's not that it's wrong to ask for a contribution, but it's all about the execution of it. You don't mail invites then send an invoice, KWIM???? It should be part of the planning. Like I think it's perfectly fine to ask people to co-host upfront or offer your home to throw a party "together" for the kids. How she did ithe was very tacky.
|
| Posted 6/23/17 2:17 PM |
| |
|
MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name:
Me speaks pirate!
|
Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to UPDATED
If OP was asked to make an expensive drink then THAT is her contribution and she should not be hit up for more cash by the host, and now the host's bff too. Wtf! It's tacky anyway you try to slice it. No excuse.
This is beginning to sound like the Friends episode when Emily's parents built a wine cellar and renovated their house for Ross and Emily's wedding and gave Ross' parents the bill to split lol.
Message edited 6/23/2017 2:29:02 PM.
|
| Posted 6/23/17 2:17 PM |
| |
|
MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name:
Me speaks pirate!
|
Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to UPDATED
Posted by Aries14
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Aries14
am I the only one that has no problem with this? I would gladly pay $40 for someone else to host and throw a big fun end of the year party for the kids. I would probably pay the $40 and still offer to make and bring things! At the end of the day - I spend more than that bringing my kids to an hour and half movie.... I think the party sounds fun and I think its a good idea for people to all chip in to help the host out. You also don't know that you and 9 others were the ONLY ones asked. Maybe she split up the group texts so people wouldn't receive 40 respones
If it was agreed to ahead of time, like when the party was being discussed, yes I would be fine with it.
And if I hadn't already spent $100 to make an infused vodka the hostess requested.
I mean, yeah - I think it could have been handled better.. but it sounds like they gave a heads up with 2 texts. Its not like they showed up to the party and then was asked for the money. I don't know - I just really see nothing wrong with it. The host is doing all the planning and work and all the bs I hate doing with having a party - and my kids get to have a blast... I honestly see noting wrong with paying the money or being asked to chip in for it. And it was IMO asked in advance
But the host doesn't HAVE to have a party. Or a HUGE party complete with hired dj. If it's too expensive they can forgo the party this year. OR, they could have let people know from the go so people can decide ahead of time "we love throwing this party for everyone every year but this year stuff came up and we won't be able to do it without some help, how do you guys feel about chipping in?" or "as much as we love hosting this party for everyone every year it's getting to be too much for us to handle without a little help" or something along those lines... Or make it a potluck, assign tasks, byob. So many ways to handle this better than this host is doing.
Message edited 6/23/2017 2:30:07 PM.
|
| Posted 6/23/17 2:28 PM |
| |
|
Aries14
Can't plan life...
Member since 8/08 2860 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to UPDATED
Posted by MC09
Posted by Aries14
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Aries14
am I the only one that has no problem with this? I would gladly pay $40 for someone else to host and throw a big fun end of the year party for the kids. I would probably pay the $40 and still offer to make and bring things! At the end of the day - I spend more than that bringing my kids to an hour and half movie.... I think the party sounds fun and I think its a good idea for people to all chip in to help the host out. You also don't know that you and 9 others were the ONLY ones asked. Maybe she split up the group texts so people wouldn't receive 40 respones
If it was agreed to ahead of time, like when the party was being discussed, yes I would be fine with it.
And if I hadn't already spent $100 to make an infused vodka the hostess requested.
I mean, yeah - I think it could have been handled better.. but it sounds like they gave a heads up with 2 texts. Its not like they showed up to the party and then was asked for the money. I don't know - I just really see nothing wrong with it. The host is doing all the planning and work and all the bs I hate doing with having a party - and my kids get to have a blast... I honestly see noting wrong with paying the money or being asked to chip in for it. And it was IMO asked in advance
But the host doesn't HAVE to have a party. Or a HUGE party complete with hired dj. If it's too expensive they can forgo the party this year. OR, they could have let people know from the go so people can decide ahead of time "we love throwing this party for everyone every year but this year stuff came up and we won't be able to do it without some help, how do you guys feel about chipping in?" or "as much as we love hosting this party for everyone every year it's getting to be too much for us to handle without a little help" or something along those lines... Or make it a potluck, assign tasks, byob. So many ways to handle this better than this host is doing.
If you don't want to pay the $40 then don't go. To say the host doesn't HAVE to host - it isn't something you HAVE to attend either.
Just as you say if the host thinks its too expensive they can forgo the party - the OP can also not attend if they think it is too expensive. I personally think that the host is doing a great thing by hosting such a great and fun party for kids and adults and I wouldn't mind being asked to chip in. Even if it was after the party was planned.
Obviously people are going to have different feelings towards this. For me, I wouldn't even think twice about it if I got this text from a very close friend of mine.
ETA: I also feel like it was asked in advance. I would have a problem with it if you showed up and then were asked to contribute
Message edited 6/23/2017 2:48:02 PM.
|
| Posted 6/23/17 2:43 PM |
| |
|
Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4289 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to UPDATED
Posted by Laura1976
Update: just got a reminder text from her best friend!!!
Morning Ladies, just a reminder to bring your $40 family contribution to Julies. You can give to myself or x. I already have B & a's money
She is gracious enough to host our annual last day of school party so the kids and adults can have a fun day! Thank you and see you all soon.
The update changes my thoughts a little.
Does Julie KNOW your friend is asking for money?
|
| Posted 6/23/17 3:57 PM |
| |
|
MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name:
Me speaks pirate!
|
Re: Financially contributing to a party that you're invited to UPDATED
Posted by Aries14
Posted by MC09
Posted by Aries14
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Aries14
am I the only one that has no problem with this? I would gladly pay $40 for someone else to host and throw a big fun end of the year party for the kids. I would probably pay the $40 and still offer to make and bring things! At the end of the day - I spend more than that bringing my kids to an hour and half movie.... I think the party sounds fun and I think its a good idea for people to all chip in to help the host out. You also don't know that you and 9 others were the ONLY ones asked. Maybe she split up the group texts so people wouldn't receive 40 respones
If it was agreed to ahead of time, like when the party was being discussed, yes I would be fine with it.
And if I hadn't already spent $100 to make an infused vodka the hostess requested.
I mean, yeah - I think it could have been handled better.. but it sounds like they gave a heads up with 2 texts. Its not like they showed up to the party and then was asked for the money. I don't know - I just really see nothing wrong with it. The host is doing all the planning and work and all the bs I hate doing with having a party - and my kids get to have a blast... I honestly see noting wrong with paying the money or being asked to chip in for it. And it was IMO asked in advance
But the host doesn't HAVE to have a party. Or a HUGE party complete with hired dj. If it's too expensive they can forgo the party this year. OR, they could have let people know from the go so people can decide ahead of time "we love throwing this party for everyone every year but this year stuff came up and we won't be able to do it without some help, how do you guys feel about chipping in?" or "as much as we love hosting this party for everyone every year it's getting to be too much for us to handle without a little help" or something along those lines... Or make it a potluck, assign tasks, byob. So many ways to handle this better than this host is doing.
If you don't want to pay the $40 then don't go. To say the host doesn't HAVE to host - it isn't something you HAVE to attend either.
Just as you say if the host thinks its too expensive they can forgo the party - the OP can also not attend if they think it is too expensive. I personally think that the host is doing a great thing by hosting such a great and fun party for kids and adults and I wouldn't mind being asked to chip in. Even if it was after the party was planned.
Obviously people are going to have different feelings towards this. For me, I wouldn't even think twice about it if I got this text from a very close friend of mine.
ETA: I also feel like it was asked in advance. I would have a problem with it if you showed up and then were asked to contribute
Of course a guest doesn't have to attend, and that would come more into play if the plans were originally presented as "well, I'll host at my house but everyone chips in x", guest then decides what they want to do. In this case it sounds like a bait and switch. Guests originally thought one thing and now they're being told something else. OP was asked to bring $100 vodka mix. She just contributed 2.5x the amount being asked. Why is she continually being asked to chip in more? In advance to me means she asked for the money up front from the go as soon as she mentioned hosting the party, not as the preparations were rolling around. At least it doesn't sound that way from the original post. OP sounds surprised to be asked as she already was asked to bring an expensive drink. It doesn't sound like the host thought the plans out well enough.
|
| Posted 6/23/17 4:46 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 |
