Feeling so sad

Changed my name so no one will recognize me.

I have been TTC for a while now and have been confiding in one of my friends along the way. I have been through ALL the tests and am currently on my last "normal" cycle before introducing other methods (IUI is next). I have been talking in detail to my friends for at least the past 6 months and she has always asked questions and seemed interested in the process. She had also been TTC for almost as long as me and would say how frustrated she's been with her process as well. Found out today she is pregnant and due in 6 months. I am totally bumped. I just want to curl into a ball and cry. I feel like I have been betrayed. I would normally be so happy for her- she is not my first friend to become pregnant though my hard journey- but I feel like she lied to me all along. Why share in someone's frustrations with your own stories if you knew all along that they were not true

Re: Feeling so sad

I'm sorry you're feeling sad

I wonder if maybe she didn't want to tell you earlier because she knew you were also trying and didn't want to hurt your feelings?

Re: Feeling so sad

While is was probably well intentioned it still really stinks. She was probably hoping you would get pregnant soon after her so she would be able to share the news with you then.
One of my good friends kinda did this to me, she was soooo afraid of hurting my feelings so I could not fault her when I know she had my best interest in mind. Since then I have kinda spread the word to other friends both going through fertility treatments and not that I would prefer to know when I normally would and not be delayed in knowing bc of what I am going through. Am I going to be jealous ? Of course. But I am still going to be thrilled for them and not want to miss out in sharing in their joy.

Re: Feeling so sad

I'm so sorry I know it can be so very difficult. I would assume that she didn't want to tell you because she thought she doing the right thing by not telling you. She was most likely not trying to hurt your feelings.

Re: Feeling so sad

I'm sorry

Hopefully you'll get a bfp soon, and the two of you can be pregnant together!

Re: Feeling so sad

I'm sorry you are so sad, but not sure why you are angry at your friend. I don't mean to be mean, but hear me out.

You have both been going through this tough journey together. You say she is due in 6 months, that puts her at 3 month pregnant? Maybe due to this difficult journey she chose not to tell anyone before 14 weeks? She didn't do it to hurt you but was too afraid to say anything before that?
just a thought.
i know it's hard to see your friends get pregnant when you can't seem to. i've been trying for a long while too. but try to get over your sadness and focus on her happiness.
good luck with ttc!

Feeling so sad

I get that you are sad.....i really do. It took me 2 years to get PG with my DS and had a bunch of people get PG around me.

I do not think you should be angry(mad) at your friend. YOu said she was havign issues also. The talks with her were not he faking it I'm sure.

And for people who have gone through trouble they do not want to tell people so I'm sure she was waiting until she was out of the 2st tri....

I would think she would be happy for you if the roles were reversed. I think you need to be happy for her but I get the sadness you are feelign for yourself...that is normal but don;t avoid or be mad at her.

Re: Feeling so sad

I am sure many of us can relate on wanting a child and seeing everyone else get pregnant. It brings you down and you wonder, "When will it be my time?".

This is no reason to feel betrayed. Angry, Hurt, and sad sure. We have all been there. Many people don't tell others they are pregnant for even trying for a while because no one wants to deal with the issue of a miscarriage or not conceiving.

I know it's hard but try to be happy for your friend. Talk to her and see what she did. Hold on to this anger and negativity is not good for you.

Feeling so sad

I totally get where you are coming from. Your feelings are your feelings and nothing will change how you feel. If you feel sad and hurt talk to your friend and ask her why she kept it from you. There may be a reason for it and from there you can decide what the intentions were behind her not telling you.

Message edited 8/26/2013 1:24:15 PM.